Very true, I try to give all drivers who treat cyclists with respect a good experience with me. One of the reasons I religiously stop for red lights and stop signs. Not doing that seems to really give a lot of drivers a bad taste for cyclists. I also agree about the lights thing as well, bright without being blinding is the key and if it flashes not having a harsh fast flash that is near migraine causing obnoxious.
As to other drivers who try to bully me, I try to give them a "he doesn't do what I want him too when I bully him and he just continues to go about his business and keep on doing what he is doing regardless of me bulling him" kind of experience.
I agree with you that often the positive side of that two sided coin is sometimes ignored.