habilis

Are you sure you need to soak it in water? That's generally done when making a new leather item and it's just a flat piece of leather with no shape at all. Your saddle has already been shaped. The wings are just splayed bit, that's all. Maybe just try the Obenauf along with lacing. The lacing is what holds the wings in correct position, and they can't splay out anymore. I tend to use the least radical or "invasive" methods first, and save the heavy-duty stuff for later if I need it.

If the saddle is still uncomfortable afterward, you can always try the localized wetting and shaping of the sit-bone areas.

Concerning the waxy/oily residue, you don't have to apply so much dressing that the leather won't take any more. Warm up the dressing (or warm the saddle in a 200 degree oven) and smear on two, maybe three light coats. Buff off the excess with clean rags. You can't take the stuff off if you overdo it, but you can always apply more if necessary.

I've put light applications of Proofide and Mink Oil on new saddles, and it always buffs off. I'm guessing your bike shorts are black anyway, so a little oil stain won't hurt them. That's why shorts generally come in black.