Love and Sex on the Road, an Interlude
When a male grasshopper’s fancy turns to love, he finds a suitable mate, preferable a young large female and he starts to work his magic. First there is romance and music. He attracts her by taking her to the best corn plants. Only the most tender of leaves will do for his special lady. He woos her with corn kernels that are bigger than her head. He caresses her and rubs his legs together to make that special sound she loves so much. Once she is swooning and is his forever, he invites her to go with him to the blacktop, for there it warmest and his lady will be most receptive to his charms. She is his and he may do what he pleases with her.
“Come my special lady, let’s make love right here on the road, in the heat of the day with the rising sun bearing down on us.”, he says.
“Oh, yes! Please take me now! I’m all yours! But, dear, isn’t the sun yellow?”, she says.
“Why, yes it is my sweet. As yellow as the corn. As yellow as a sunflower. As yellow as your tender belly.”
“But dear, if the sun is yellow, why does it have a black stripe on it?”
“What black stripe?”, he says as he kisses her neck.
“That black stripe that is getting bigger all the time. And there seems to be this odd ominous sound coming from it.” she notes.
Just then he looks up and notices that the stripe is getting bigger and the sound in maniacal laughter just as the bicycle squishes both of them.
“Cool. A twofer. I love those because they can’t get away as easily. I just love the sound of grasshoppers squishing under my wheels.”, I said. Hey, it’s Iowa, you can’t see anything over the corn and there is no one to talk to. What else are you going to do?