I would go to DT swiss.com and put in your hub and rim measurements again and see what spoke length you get.
http://www.sheldonbrown.com/rinard/spocalc.htm tells you how to measure your hub dimensions.
I would check the spokes you have and make sure you were given the right lengths.
I would then
http://www.sheldonbrown.com/wheelbuild.html check here when you are doing your lacing. I have not kept your text so that I have not checked whether it is 3 cross or something else you are doing.
I understand your frustration but I believe your problem lies in spoke length, incorrect lacing. Leave it for now and when you wake up tomorrow morning revisit.
Oh and please post back the answer when you find it out