I agree with Andy - You should work with a bike shop on this.

I had some difficulty with fit that had me throwing all sorts of money at my cockpit trying to take weight off my hands. It turns out that the solution was to get a set-back seat post so I could get my hips further back and balance myself better on the saddle.

It is possible that your wife is having a similar problem - is she locking her elbows to bear weight or to extend reach? The answer makes a big difference in what solution you pursue.