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Old 06-03-19, 06:21 PM
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Location: Treasure Coast, FL
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Originally Posted by PGHNeil View Post
Bob, your wife deserves your attention, but as many here have said the amount you actually engage in the activity isn't that excessive. When you're around her though, maybe you shouldn't obsess about it so much. Instead, find something the two of you can do together. I agree, sitting on the couch and watching TV isn't it - nor, unfortunately is riding bicycles. What does she like to do, or is she having trouble not being a mom or a daughter anymore?

Whatever the case may be, she clearly needs to talk to a professional and I hope that person can help her face her issues without fear of judgment. That being said, I'd go so far as to saying that her calling your activities (cycling, playing in the band) as being obsessions is just not fair. If anything, she's the one who has obsessions - or at least attachment issues. I don't think your cycling is an obsession. I'd call it exercise - and quite frankly if she's prone to moping the endorphins from getting away and doing it are probably contributing to keeping you sane.

That being said, I think now is the time to focus on the two of you as a couple. She certainly deserves you set up a regular date night, but even better is something that gets you both out of the mundane. When was the last time you two went on a vacation alone?
My wife has her first solo therapy session this Wednesday. We do vacation alone as a couple twice a year. We mutually enjoy hiking in national or state parks, and we've been doing that for the last three or four years. Sometimes she will also come to my conferences or out of town meetings and spend the evenings together. We travel very well together, whether it's for family, work or vacation. We are going hiking in a Tennessee state park for the Independence Day extended weekend. We also have a wedding in New Hampshire in August and will extend the trip with one of our daughters and my sister-in-law to Acadia National Park in Maine.
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