First of all: good on you, and I hope if I'm ever in a situation of need, someone with your mentality and good intent comes along!
re: the "Call of Shame"--I used to ride with a complete kit to fix my tires, levers, pump, multitool, two spare inner tubes (just in case of the dreaded double flat!). Along with phone, keys, credit card, etc...it started getting very bulky. Plus going with progressively more aero and lighter bikes, while trying to gain speed...it was all too much. I was on a search for ever more streamlined saddle bags, but the race-style saddles coming with my race and aero bikes would make mounting them more and more difficult. Even when I did get them to mount, it often looked awkward and bulky.
So I've decided, since most of my rides are on or near well traveled roads and big cities, to leave all that behind. I went tubeless, which should fix all but the most egregious punctures, and keep just the keys and phone I need in a small Silka undersaddle pouch that is basically the same dimensions as my cell phone but maybe an inch and a half thick when fully loaded. I have one small frame pump in case the sealant takes longer to fix the puncture and deflates the tire too low. I left all the other tools and flat kit behind, and have resigned myself to using Uber/Lyft/Friend if something goes horribly wrong. Water bottle, Wahoo Roam, and nutrition (on long rides) are the only other things I bring. I alleviated probably 2-3lbs and associated bulk from my bikes.
First week or so with this new strategy I felt nervous, wondering when the hole in my plan would surface. But now it's been over a month of solid riding nearly every day, and knock on wood, so far so good. If I ever do a century ride, or am going out further away from civilization, I will of course bring the full kit for safety reasons. But for 99% of my rides, this strategy has worked so far.