I don't have a fear of heights anymore (heights are a big one for most people), but I do know about phobias in general. I know they can be incapacitating despite their being irrational fears.
One things for sure, you are not going to be able to explain them to someone that doesn't have the condition. If its really bad you may need to seek professional help. Otherwise, you can do what I did and take baby steps to treat it.
I expose myself to those situation that cause me anxiety but only for a specified time, and always with a quick and easy way out.In other words, I don't put myself in those situation where I don't have control. I find that lack of control is the greatest hindrance, so once I've solve that it gives me the courage to move forward.