If the timing chain is appropriately tight (i.e. lose enough to not bind, and deflects about 1/2 inch when you press on it with your finger), you can adjust the timing of the two cranks without moving the eccentric. Derail the timing chain by pressing on it side ways as you turn the cranks, just as a deraiileur would.
Then line up both cranks parallel to the ground. Reinstall the chain, keeping the cranks in the same relative position, and you're done.
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You could fall off a cliff and die.
You could get lost and die.
You could hit a tree and die.
OR YOU COULD STAY HOME AND FALL OFF THE COUCH AND DIE.