Make a cafe rat:
Lose the riser stem. Install short flat bars with flanged MTB grips. Bob the fenders. Replace the saddle with something minimal ala Unicanitor or BMX plastic. Lose the chainguard. Replace the fork with a straight one. Replace crankset with alloy BMX one. Install quill pedals. Everything either flat black, shiny chrome, or ridiculously rusted! Bonus points for an old Avocet cyclometer mounted behind the handlebars or on top of the stem.
By the way, please pm me if the Bike Exchange has any Magistroni cranks!
Brent