I want to thank everyone for their stories and replies and suggestions, I actually got back on the bike this weekend for a few rides and it felt great, I'm more aware too. I'm still going to hold off on commuting until the sunsets become later, possible Feb or March. Again, all the suggestions help, especially the ideology of the Buddhist sympathizer in keeping focused on a clear path going forward, keeping aware and in the moment and such. Glad there's a soundboard I can voice this on.
Best,
Scott