I completely empathize!
I had a much less serious, but equally dumb, incident about 10 years ago.
I was just toodling through Jubilee College park, going down a small hill. Somehow, I managed to drift off the right edge of the road and into the grass. The grass banked down steeply, and ended up in some trees. My best option was to hit the brakes in order to not end up in the trees.
Well, to stop, I had to apply the front brake hard enough to lift the rear wheel, causing me to slooowly go over the handlebars.
It was so slow that it didn't hurt at all, and I held onto the bars and just did a roll. I ended up on my back with the bike above me (feet still in the pedals and hands on the brake hoods).
At the same time, an older couple was walking up the hill and presumably watching this. They were polite enough to not stare or laugh. Bless them.
Steve in Peoria