canklecat

Yeah, relative and comparative pain are so subjective and vary so much, it's practically a waste of time to bother with those "rate your pain" questions at the ER and doctor's office. I've said "6 or 7" when nurses asked, and could tell they assumed I was about to mooch for oxycontin. But I don't even bother asking for pain meds anymore, or trying to defend or explain my subjective impression of pain.

I've put up with people dismissing my migraines (or whatever they are) with "You went to the ER for a headache?" I grew up seeing people whine "Oh, I have such a headache," and continue working or playing as if nothing were wrong. To me, a headache was something that made me pass out and vomit.

I remember a former in-law who was dismissive about my "just-a-headaches" curling up in the recliner under blankets and pillows for two days after she nicked her finger with a fishing-line type edger/weed whacker. I literally crushed my left index finger and nearly lost the distal joint when it was crushed in a machine. The fingertip bone was splintered into seven pieces and hanging by a tendon or ligament and a bit of nerve and vascular tissue to keep it alive. I had it splinted at the ER, wrapped it in ice, took a couple of ibuprofen and went back to work. The fingertip healed, although the fingernail is wonky and tends to split in two pieces if I don't keep it trimmed and filed down.

Twenty years ago my compact car was t-boned by a full size SUV that ran a light at highway speed and accordioned my car. Broke my back and neck in six places. I had possibly the world's most incompetent doctor and didn't discover for weeks that I had cracked vertebrae in the lumber, thoracic and cervical spine, including the C1-C2. But I had no immediate reaction after the collision. I got my grandsons out of the car to be sure they were okay. Some witnesses helped me get them clear of the wreck. I took them to their pediatrician immediately. But two days later I was passing out and vomiting from my own injuries. That's how long it took me to react.

Four years ago I was hit by a car while I was riding my bike. Driver was looking down, probably at her phone, while blowing through a flashing yellow/yield left turn light, while I had the green and pedestrian walk signals. Broke and dislocated my right shoulder, with a winged scapula. Knocked the breath out of me but after I was able to catch my breath I stood up and photographed the scene using my left (weak) hand, including the sheepish looking driver (who later lied about what happened).

I'm one of those people who doesn't immediately respond to physical trauma with pain or shock. That comes hours or days later. In the ambulance the crew offered fentanyl -- I declined. At the ER they offered morphine. Again, I declined and said the pain wasn't that bad yet. Just a tramadol or hydrocodone would be good enough for now. They looked at me like I was an android without human pain responses. I tried to explain that would come later, but this was normal for me. Probably why I enjoyed sports like boxing and bicycle racing when I was younger -- I didn't feel any particular pain when getting hit, or during a crash.

But I definitely welcomed the prescription for hydrocodone they sent me home with. I only took it at night to help sleep. It was painful struggling in and out of bed for a few weeks.

Same with my biopsy for thyroid cancer. I declined the subcutaneous anesthetic, since that would just be as painful as the biopsy needle stick through the very thin neck skin over the cancerous, calcified thyroid lobe. The thyroid was dead and basically the consistency of a broken tooth, so the biopsy needle felt crunchy but not painful.

But I don't mind saying the lingering pain from the shoulder and neck injury was pretty bad, and still is. I got tired of the humiliating ordeal of begging for moderate opiates like tramadol or hydrocodone, which I never abused. So I tried CBD and kratom, and still use a very modest amount of kratom almost every day for chronic pain. The effect is milder and shorter duration than the cyclobenzaprine muscle relaxer my doc did authorize. I hate the way muscle relaxers make me sluggish for 24-36 hours after a single tiny 10 mg pill. Kratom works within 10 minutes, is easy to regulate to my preferred minimal pain relief, lasts for about four hours, and doesn't leave me sluggish or dopey the next day, so I can continue my usual bicycling and jogging activities.

My latest CT scans, MRI and X-rays showed severe stenosis in my cervical spine, injury-related scoliosis in the lumber and thoracic spine. I'm due for ortho treatment in a couple of weeks. They mentioned some sort of treatment that basically kills or deadens the pain nerves temporarily. I'll find out more around the first of November.

But, yeah, I no longer have any patience for people who dismiss my migraines, cluster headaches or neuralgia -- whatever the hell it is -- as "just a headache." I guarantee they've never experienced pain like it or they'd know better.