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He Who Should Wash His Mouth Out With Soap Guy

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He Who Should Wash His Mouth Out With Soap Guy

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Old 08-25-06, 05:16 PM
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He Who Should Wash His Mouth Out With Soap Guy

Crit Report 8. Last race for the season

Redemption.

After my humbling race at the beginning of the week where I got dropped for the first time ever and crashed, I was ready to make a comeback.

Before I got to the race I did a good solid warm up with a full extended effort and a couple of practice sprints going up through the gears out of saddle and in the drops. I end my warm up 15 minuets before the start.

The last race of the season had a small turnout (10) which is odd I thought. This is the last chance to get points for the overall standings. 2 Place Points Guy was there and he was all excited because if he wins this one he can take the overall title of the series. I was checking his stats. He got there not by winning but by placing well in every race. He was consistent and he showed up for all of them. Bike Store boy was a no-show which was a huge relief for 2nd Place Points Guy because no one could beat him. He was that strong. He joined the series about half way in as I had. After cleaning up in 7 races he had only to win this to take the title.

We line up. Just before we go I tell 2nd Place Points Guy that Bike Store Boy just showed up. You should have seen him deflate. I let him know I was just joking and he felt very, very relieved.

Go. I hear this click, click, coming from my front wheel, what now? The magnet is hitting my sensor. I reach down on the fly and with out getting my fingers mangled in the bladed spokes, manage to twist the sensor back in place. The peleton has not gotten ahead of me and I am very pleased with myself.

The laps carry on without incident or breakaways or any real top end speed. I am relaxing in the middle of the pack. We carry on this uneventful way until the prime which I have decided not to contest. There is a sprint for the prime and I test my legs to stay with it. A couple of the guys including 2 Place Points Guy are trading the pulling and no one else is pitching in. I let them jump back in the pace line ahead of me and don’t move up.

I don’t like being a wheel sucker today so I go and take a turn at the front with 3 laps to go. Better do it now and have a recovery before the sprint I’m thinking. As I’m pulling we finally lap the girls. “Way to go Hiromian” one girl yells and another pipes in, “short pulls Hiromian” My chest puffs up and I’m happy.

After a bit another takes over the pulling and I drop a couple back and rest up for the final sprint.

Here we go for the final lap and still no real speed. All are rested again. I have a plan.

We are in sprint territory and I am 3 back and 2 wide. I have positioned myself to the outside 2 behind 2nd Place Points Guy.

My plan springs into action. Yep I’m bringing the sprint to them. I go hard and pass everybody in a heartbeat. Except 2nd Place Points Guy. We are side by side and we really have a good jump on the others. I’m in my 14th cog. I’m feeling great. I can take this. We are still side by side and I’m happy. I have never seen the line coming from this perspective before.

My nose is to the bar Boonen style. It’s smack down time. I shift into the 13 cog…..and send the chain into outer space. &@#$%!! the extended version erupts from the sucker behind me. He manages to squeeze in the words “get out of the way”. By that time maybe, 2 peddle strokes, I have the chain back on but 2 have passed including He Who Should Wash His Mouth out with Soap Guy. I shoot across the line in 4th.

I’ll take it. Boy am I happy.

He Who Should Wash His Mouth Out With Soap Guy is replaying his spew. I feel great even though I have no idea why the chain came of the 13. Didn’t do it in warm up.
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Old 08-25-06, 06:03 PM
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Odd. All the relatives of HWSWHMOWS that I've run into have always finished behind me, except for once. At least those who have directed spew in my direction. This, I believe, is evidence of karma. And better legs

You might want to print this out, do a little highlighter, and leave it stuffed in his water bottle holder:

https://www.usacycling.org/news/user/story.php?id=2446

BTW, (fill in your mechanical issue here) never happens in warm up. You can go for several 4-6 hour rides and (fill in your mechanical issue here) will never occur. You can replace the (fill in part causing mechanical issue here), have it inspected by the local shop and manufacturer, and it will be deemed in perfect working order.

In fact, unless you're competing for a top ten position, the (fill in part causing mechanical issue here) will perform flawlessly.

I have no idea what this is evidence of.
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Old 08-25-06, 08:34 PM
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Congrats sir! I love reading these reports. Part of the reason I even bothered to post one.
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Old 08-25-06, 11:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Vinokurtov
Odd. All the relatives of HWSWHMOWS that I've run into have always finished behind me, except for once. At least those who have directed spew in my direction. This, I believe, is evidence of karma. And better legs

You might want to print this out, do a little highlighter, and leave it stuffed in his water bottle holder:

https://www.usacycling.org/news/user/story.php?id=2446

BTW, (fill in your mechanical issue here) never happens in warm up. You can go for several 4-6 hour rides and (fill in your mechanical issue here) will never occur. You can replace the (fill in part causing mechanical issue here), have it inspected by the local shop and manufacturer, and it will be deemed in perfect working order.

In fact, unless you're competing for a top ten position, the (fill in part causing mechanical issue here) will perform flawlessly.


I have no idea what this is evidence of.

Hey Vino, That guy was ok. He was full of adrenalyne and was going for points. I have no issue with it. I don't feel abused. He was like a fly buzzing around as far as anoyance to me is concerned. I think it was kinda funny. He was the one who looked bad and worse, he did it in front of kids and wives at the start finish line.

I scraped out my best finish of the season with this mechanical problem the sprint. Toggling the chain back on and continuing to place rocked my world.

2nd Place Points Guy got the win and the series win and came up to me to thank me for the pulling and blocking


I mentioned my warmup in the story because I took a page out of your advise Vino and did what I think you do for a warmup. Thanks for the advise from that previus post.
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Old 08-25-06, 11:33 PM
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Gios my baby
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Originally Posted by riskus
Congrats sir! I love reading these reports. Part of the reason I even bothered to post one.
Thanks Riskus, Son. Have a good off season, train smart, come out firing next season. lots of us here will be rooting for you.

Gota go get my walker and crawl into bed so see ya.
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