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It's a Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred World

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It's a Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred World

Old 08-24-07, 03:48 AM
  #1  
patentcad
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It's a Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred World

They outnumber you racer weenies about 100:1. And there's nothing you can do about it. Somewhere, at any given moment, some Fred is keeling over at an intersection, unable to free himself from the bonds of his clipless pedals.

Read it and weep, but better yet, ignore it, for the full realization of this reality is rather staggering in its humanity.



Sometimes, late at night, I lie awake wondering what it would be like to watch the world recede in a helmet mirror. But I will never really know.

Last edited by patentcad; 08-24-07 at 03:58 AM.
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Old 08-24-07, 04:22 AM
  #2  
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Are you drunk? I mean, it's pretty early, or the aftereffects are still lingering from a long Thursday into Friday....



BTW...it's been hinted that a fred comes on to a site like BF and tries to get his riding position set up with photos and a lot of opinion from folks that have never fitted a bike in their lives. The same ones that complain when they go to a bike shop and get the old "eyeball fit" from the salesperson.

LOL...

You are the man.

Cannondale's '08 pricing's out because I quoted prices on two bikes to a guy last evening. Straight from the dealer's '08 handbook.

(and I am kidding here...but not about the pricing)
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Old 08-24-07, 04:28 AM
  #3  
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You are absolutely right. I will try to understand from now on the fact that since I don't race, biking is no fun. The excersise, fresh air, sensations of speed and personal goals are only accomplished if someone is keeping score. I will go officially change me screen name to Phred the Unrider.
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Old 08-24-07, 04:31 AM
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Aw, man. I'd totally flame you if I didn't have to go wash the chain ring tattoo off my leg...
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Old 08-24-07, 04:32 AM
  #5  
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What is fredish about chain ring tattos. Some even like to make them permament. Being a Fred is only a temporary thing. Even if not a racer type. Give a dedicated recreational rider six months and his/her heart rate, guads will supersize any American by at least two fold. Once those quads hatch out , you should have enough experience to get beyond freddom.
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Old 08-24-07, 04:43 AM
  #6  
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I dont know which one is more freddish, the guy that falls on his clipless or the know it all elistic who thinks he can judge your bike fit with one pic

( not referring to you pcad, but to my bike)
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Old 08-24-07, 04:45 AM
  #7  
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Originally Posted by Indyv8a View Post
You are absolutely right. I will try to understand from now on the fact that since I don't race, biking is no fun. The excersise, fresh air, sensations of speed and personal goals are only accomplished if someone is keeping score. I will go officially change me screen name to Phred the Unrider.
why did you stumble into the bike racing subforum? god help you now. i'm not sure even He could save you from the imminent hamer droping from a thousand angry roadies clad in assos bibs
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Old 08-24-07, 04:49 AM
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Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl View Post
I dont know which one is more freddish, the guy that falls on his clipless or the know it all elistic who thinks he can judge your bike fit with one pic

( not referring to you pcad, but to my bike)
c'mon...Pcad needed two entire threads to get his tt bike "fitted"...certainly goes into the fred hall of fame...
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Old 08-24-07, 07:14 AM
  #9  
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I don't actually drink alcohol. My posts here are the potent effects of endorphins on the human brain.

I have to disagree with RW. Multiple threads here to fit a TT bike are not fredworthy. Somebody as slow as me actually PAYING an LBS to fit me, now that WOULD be.

Next phase: BF Wind Tunnel Testing Threads.
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Old 08-24-07, 07:19 AM
  #10  
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Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
Next phase: BF Wind Tunnel Testing Threads.
Start with a car, a fish scale, some rope and incense...
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Old 08-24-07, 07:24 AM
  #11  
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Im still waitin to hear how the Fred Nationals went, or havn't they finished yet?
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Old 08-24-07, 07:28 AM
  #12  
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A haiku:

Winter's almost here
Cold wind makes Freds disappear
Layering feels good
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Old 08-24-07, 07:43 AM
  #13  
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Originally Posted by Voodoo76 View Post
Im still waitin to hear how the Fred Nationals went, or havn't they finished yet?
20.5 mph average speed for 62 hilly miles. I detonated on the last hill (sadly there were witnesses) and finished with a chase group of 3-4 (there were 3-4 guys about a minute up the road, I had detonated chasing them). I rode too hard the previous day, and spent the first 2/3 Sunday chasing MTB racers up grinding hills. That did turn out to be a mistake. Why?

Here's what roadies do when they have a gap at the top of a hill: they pull sharp tacks out of their rear pocket, throw them over their shoulder and start doing a rotating paceline in the hopes of staying off the front.

Here's what MTB dudes do: they put out 1000 watts for the last 200 meters of the climb, get to the top, and then start handing the hash pipe around.

It's a different mentality.
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Old 08-24-07, 07:56 AM
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I am Fred, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

CHORUS
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am Fred!

You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

CHORUS

I am Fred watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I pdeal my sweaty butt across the land
But I'm still a Homey Doh!
With a long long way to go
Until I make my brother understand


Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am Fred
Oh, I am Fred
I am invincible
I am strong

Fred Ex, we deliver the goods
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Old 08-24-07, 08:14 AM
  #15  
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Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
20.5 mph average speed for 62 hilly miles. I detonated on the last hill (sadly there were witnesses) and finished with a chase group of 3-4 (there were 3-4 guys about a minute up the road, I had detonated chasing them). I rode too hard the previous day, and spent the first 2/3 Sunday chasing MTB racers up grinding hills. That did turn out to be a mistake. Why?

Here's what roadies do when they have a gap at the top of a hill: they pull sharp tacks out of their rear pocket, throw them over their shoulder and start doing a rotating paceline in the hopes of staying off the front.

Here's what MTB dudes do: they put out 1000 watts for the last 200 meters of the climb, get to the top, and then start handing the hash pipe around.

It's a different mentality
.

I was hoping to find you a wider brush, but this was the best I could do. Sorry!
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Old 08-24-07, 08:28 AM
  #16  
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Old 08-24-07, 09:25 AM
  #17  
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Originally Posted by runtimmyc View Post
hahahahah. usually randomness is stupid and annoying, but i'll admit that made me laugh
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Old 08-24-07, 09:30 AM
  #18  
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Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
They outnumber you racer weenies about 100:1. And there's nothing you can do about it. Somewhere, at any given moment, some Fred is keeling over at an intersection, unable to free himself from the bonds of his clipless pedals.

Read it and weep, but better yet, ignore it, for the full realization of this reality is rather staggering in its humanity.



Sometimes, late at night, I lie awake wondering what it would be like to watch the world recede in a helmet mirror. But I will never really know.
Did little ole Patencad get dropped by a Fred again...
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Old 08-24-07, 09:46 AM
  #19  
merlinextraligh
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Originally Posted by late View Post
I am Fred, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

CHORUS
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am Fred!

You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

CHORUS

I am Fred watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I pdeal my sweaty butt across the land
But I'm still a Homey Doh!
With a long long way to go
Until I make my brother understand


Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am Fred
Oh, I am Fred
I am invincible
I am strong

Fred Ex, we deliver the goods
I have this mental picture of Chipcom in drag singing
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Old 08-24-07, 09:46 AM
  #20  
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6:1 The amount of threads Pcad starts vs other users

50% of them are about his unhealthy crush on his TT bike or Freds.

simmer down Ryan, woops I ment Pcad.
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Old 08-24-07, 09:47 AM
  #21  
merlinextraligh
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Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
They outnumber you racer weenies about 100:1.
I take comfort from this. While I may suck in my lowly part of the racing community, it's comforting to know that I'm at least faster than a bunch of people who don't even give it a go.
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Old 08-24-07, 09:53 AM
  #22  
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Originally Posted by jrennie View Post
6:1 The amount of threads Pcad starts vs other users

50% of them are about his unhealthy crush on his TT bike or Freds.

simmer down Ryan, woops I ment Pcad.
+1.

Otherwise known as "OKD". (Obsessive Keyboard Dysfunction).

Bob
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Old 08-24-07, 10:00 AM
  #23  
late
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Originally Posted by merlinextraligh View Post
I have this mental picture of Chipcom in drag singing
Good one
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Old 08-24-07, 10:44 AM
  #24  
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These brief insights into the inner workings of a troubled mind should be encouraged. I applaud Pcads ability to not only verbalize his mental entanglements but to also find a forum that will respond to them.
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Old 08-24-07, 10:53 AM
  #25  
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Sorry to disappoint, the guys that dropped me were racing dudes. And getting gapped by a minute or so on a 62 mile ride isn't exactly the Shelling of the Century.

You are all responding, aren't you? I am not alone. It's like the Looney Hatch water cooler around here.
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