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Sea Otter; AKA... how to lose a race.

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Sea Otter; AKA... how to lose a race.

Old 04-20-09, 11:39 PM
  #1  
ElJamoquio
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Sea Otter; AKA... how to lose a race.

How to lose a race:

1. Get 5 hours of sleep. Three nights in a row.
2. Get up.
3. Start Driving.
4. Realize you left front skewer at home.
5. Drive home. Get skewer. Try again.
6. Realize that the map to the course is lacking. Also your GPS isn't telling you where to go correctly.
7. Get to course ultra-late. Get out of car, sprint on foot to registration, sign in, sprint back to car, get bike out, put on shoes, get on, and sprint to start.
8. Get to start with two minutes to spare (hey, what, me worry?).
9. Start.
10. Flat within five minutes.
11. Get neutral support wheel. Ride back up.
12. Ride around course (10 mile lap). Realize that course profile, which claims 800' climb per lap, is completely full of **** - there's a 150 foot climb, max.
13. Alternate trying to drop as many people as possible on the crappy little hill and trying not to get dropped.
14. Check out the signs at the end of the lap that say '1k' to go.
15. Note that the line is only 50 meters after a sharp corner. Note strategy should be to fight for the first position with everything before the corner.
16. Repeat for six laps.
17. At end of sixth lap, fight to get up front with 1k to go and hang on tight.
18. Get told by moto-ref that we will not be turning, we will be going straight on this lap. Apparently the 1k to go sign was announcing the f-ing corner. And I'm burning matches.
19. Get told that we'll take a right turn and finish.
20. Stay up front for the right hand turn.
21. Give everything left for the finish line that must be imminent.
22. Don't see a finish line.
23. Realize the f-ing 800' hill is only on the last lap, and you've just burned all the matches you have.
24. Finish eighth.




Oh, and Levi Leipheimer won the Pro/1/2 race by 4 seconds.
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Old 04-21-09, 07:07 AM
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Sorry to hear about your s****y race. Did you drive from MI? Like your quote by the way.
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Old 04-21-09, 07:14 AM
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how to do better:

1. prepare properly.*

*this post written by the guy who lost count of the laps in a criterium with 3 to go.
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Old 04-21-09, 07:32 AM
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Which category was that?
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Old 04-21-09, 07:38 AM
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Originally Posted by ElJamoquio View Post
How to lose a race:

23. Realize the f-ing 800' hill is only on the last lap, and you've just burned all the matches you have.
Ouch - that was the best one of your list.
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Old 04-21-09, 10:05 AM
  #6  
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how'd you get back on after you flatted?
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Old 04-21-09, 02:40 PM
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Originally Posted by acortez View Post
Sorry to hear about your s****y race. Did you drive from MI? Like your quote by the way.
Nope, between school and work, have commitments in both CA and MI right now. I'm in CA most of the time.


Originally Posted by umd View Post
Which category was that?
4.

Originally Posted by kudude View Post
how'd you get back on after you flatted?
Still neutral, no problem at all. In fact it was a pretty decent warmup, considering I had none otherwise, and an easy way to race on a Zipp wheel.
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Old 04-21-09, 02:45 PM
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Originally Posted by ElJamoquio View Post
4
Cool, I had a teammate get 4th in the cat 4 RR.
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