Gustaf

Most pro cyclists being European are inherently suave and sheik.
However there are those that stick out – not necessarily in a good way.
The following specimens I present today are two of these exceptions, Isidro Nozal and Roberto Laiseka.

The following image provides important analysis in understanding and determining the origin of their most unique physical features.



As suggested by this image it appears that sometime between 1.5 and 2.0 million years ago the family lineage of Nozal and Laiseka diverged from that of the normal humanoid line.

A more close examination of these individuals reveals their striking features:
Isidro Nozal




A Colleague of mine once noted :
"Did you see the grill on that guy? Dental plan should be included for all pro contracts."

Roberto Laiseka





These are the only two remaining specimens known to exist on earth. However it is rumored that similar creatures can be seen inhabiting some of the hills in the Spanish countryside especially in the Basque region.

If you have any information these specimens or if you believe you have evidence of another one lurking in our midst, please report your findings.

swimbikerun_boy

lol pretty interesting

Tyler

bac

Your chart kills me!

TomInFLA

The Big House is the ugliest rider in the pro ranks. Or is he retired? He was definitely had/has the ugliest style.

For the nickname impaired, Big House = Casagrande.

extomesm

poor podium girls. they never saw it coming

gcasillo

I just keep coming back to this thread for the first two pics of Laiseka.

Grrrr! I just won the damn stage! Grrrrr! To hell with the fluffy lion! To hell with you all! Grrrr!

geneman

Yes, but are they genetically superior? And if so, could they also run a sub 2:10 marathon?


blah!

-mark

extomesm

wait... did he just win a stage in those pictures?? i thought he was being tortured via medival stretching machine, braveheart style

brent_dube

Nozal's uglyness may have been amplified by the stress and fatigue he was under at the time. At the end of the Sierra Nevada stage (2003), I remember thinking "Im suprised they showed that on TV" after seeing them show a closeup of him crossing the line - it was quite ugly.

Garzelli has a really ugly body when cycling, IMO

livestrong91

LOL. That's great.

cyclezealot

You look at pro's crossing the line...The stress and exertion...Even a lot of so called pretty faces look exaggerated..Physical exertion can be excuriating.

extomesm

i think in these cases it goes far beyond just "it was the physical exertion" its more like nozal has some sort of a animal trap for a set of teeth and laiseka is some sort of feral beast raised deep in the basque country by mountain lions

cyclezealot

Don't we judge him on his cycling ability...Remember how ugly kids were picked on in elementary school...Is his soul ugly. ? Being picked on might make a hell of a rider out of them.

kokodeselavy

Maybe it's a skill, not a genetic trait....the Cyclingnews.com live report on this year's Vuelta observed Nozal "putting on the mean face" when he was breaking up the peloton for Heras.

orguasch

that is a good one, and to think they beleive they (podium Girls) got it made,

orguasch

and yes, they are sure very ugly, but their wallet are very handsome and they will still have the last laugh, and the last laugh will be on us

lotek 

ludo dierckxsens?

cyclezealot

What is that silly reality TV crap about remakes...For women..What, the "Swan' or something like that...Could do it for pro cyclists...If so, and a teeth job, these guys could be real 'chic magnets..' One look at the calves/glutes and their nites are busy..All a woman needs is a dark room and the muscles are a big attraction...
After all,look at the Californa governor...Looks like his face has been affected by steroid overdose..His muscles are 'chic' magnets, until they have been groped...
What did Bicycling Sex issue say about women's attractions...
First the azz and then the legs, was it not.Suspect there are other qualifing standards..

Balikó

Totally apart from the real performance my ranking list is:

1. Floyd Landis
2. Mark Scanlon
3. Matthew White
4. Ludo Dierckxens
5. Francesco "Baby" Casagrande
6. Davide Rebellin
7. Peter Van Petegem
8. Alex Zülle
9. Santiágo Pérez

And the ever ugliest: Fernando Escartin

Laggard

Good list, Baliko.

I'd also add Levi Leipheimer.

crossdude

ya but have you seen leipheimer wife Odesa! she's hot!!
crossdude...

boze

Levi isn't ugly - he's just bald, there's a big difference.

F1_Fan

Definitely... there should be an automatic 10 point credit for funny looking guys with hot wives.

RoadToad

Wow...Odessa...I think she is worth more than 10!
RT

roadbuzz

Honorable mention to Laurent Brochard.... just for the mullet.

P.S. Gustaf, you have waaayyyy too much time...