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The Ugliest Man in the Pro Peloton; Isidro Nozal vs. Roberto Laiseka. A Case Study.

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The Ugliest Man in the Pro Peloton; Isidro Nozal vs. Roberto Laiseka. A Case Study.

Old 12-09-04, 03:54 PM
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Gustaf
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Most pro cyclists being European are inherently suave and sheik.
However there are those that stick out – not necessarily in a good way.
The following specimens I present today are two of these exceptions, Isidro Nozal and Roberto Laiseka.

The following image provides important analysis in understanding and determining the origin of their most unique physical features.



As suggested by this image it appears that sometime between 1.5 and 2.0 million years ago the family lineage of Nozal and Laiseka diverged from that of the normal humanoid line.

A more close examination of these individuals reveals their striking features:
Isidro Nozal




A Colleague of mine once noted :
"Did you see the grill on that guy? Dental plan should be included for all pro contracts."

Roberto Laiseka





These are the only two remaining specimens known to exist on earth. However it is rumored that similar creatures can be seen inhabiting some of the hills in the Spanish countryside especially in the Basque region.

If you have any information these specimens or if you believe you have evidence of another one lurking in our midst, please report your findings.

Last edited by Gustaf; 12-17-04 at 11:25 AM.
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Old 12-09-04, 04:06 PM
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swimbikerun_boy
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lol pretty interesting

Tyler
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Old 12-09-04, 06:08 PM
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Your chart kills me!
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Old 12-09-04, 07:17 PM
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The Big House is the ugliest rider in the pro ranks. Or is he retired? He was definitely had/has the ugliest style.

For the nickname impaired, Big House = Casagrande.
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Old 12-09-04, 09:32 PM
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poor podium girls. they never saw it coming
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Old 12-09-04, 09:43 PM
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I just keep coming back to this thread for the first two pics of Laiseka.

Grrrr! I just won the damn stage! Grrrrr! To hell with the fluffy lion! To hell with you all! Grrrr!
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Old 12-09-04, 09:46 PM
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Yes, but are they genetically superior? And if so, could they also run a sub 2:10 marathon?


blah!

-mark
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Old 12-09-04, 09:50 PM
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wait... did he just win a stage in those pictures?? i thought he was being tortured via medival stretching machine, braveheart style
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Old 12-09-04, 10:24 PM
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Nozal's uglyness may have been amplified by the stress and fatigue he was under at the time. At the end of the Sierra Nevada stage (2003), I remember thinking "Im suprised they showed that on TV" after seeing them show a closeup of him crossing the line - it was quite ugly.

Garzelli has a really ugly body when cycling, IMO
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Old 12-09-04, 10:28 PM
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Originally Posted by extomesm
poor podium girls. they never saw it coming
LOL. That's great.
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Old 12-09-04, 10:28 PM
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You look at pro's crossing the line...The stress and exertion...Even a lot of so called pretty faces look exaggerated..Physical exertion can be excuriating.
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Old 12-09-04, 10:39 PM
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i think in these cases it goes far beyond just "it was the physical exertion" its more like nozal has some sort of a animal trap for a set of teeth and laiseka is some sort of feral beast raised deep in the basque country by mountain lions
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Old 12-09-04, 10:42 PM
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Don't we judge him on his cycling ability...Remember how ugly kids were picked on in elementary school...Is his soul ugly. ? Being picked on might make a hell of a rider out of them.
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Old 12-10-04, 05:18 AM
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Maybe it's a skill, not a genetic trait....the Cyclingnews.com live report on this year's Vuelta observed Nozal "putting on the mean face" when he was breaking up the peloton for Heras.
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Old 12-10-04, 05:44 AM
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Originally Posted by extomesm
poor podium girls. they never saw it coming
that is a good one, and to think they beleive they (podium Girls) got it made,
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Old 12-10-04, 05:47 AM
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and yes, they are sure very ugly, but their wallet are very handsome and they will still have the last laugh, and the last laugh will be on us
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Old 12-10-04, 09:15 AM
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ludo dierckxsens?
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Old 12-10-04, 09:02 PM
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What is that silly reality TV crap about remakes...For women..What, the "Swan' or something like that...Could do it for pro cyclists...If so, and a teeth job, these guys could be real 'chic magnets..' One look at the calves/glutes and their nites are busy..All a woman needs is a dark room and the muscles are a big attraction...
After all,look at the Californa governor...Looks like his face has been affected by steroid overdose..His muscles are 'chic' magnets, until they have been groped...
What did Bicycling Sex issue say about women's attractions...
First the azz and then the legs, was it not.Suspect there are other qualifing standards..
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Old 12-17-04, 05:01 AM
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Totally apart from the real performance my ranking list is:

1. Floyd Landis
2. Mark Scanlon
3. Matthew White
4. Ludo Dierckxens
5. Francesco "Baby" Casagrande
6. Davide Rebellin
7. Peter Van Petegem
8. Alex Zülle
9. Santiágo Pérez

And the ever ugliest: Fernando Escartin
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Old 12-17-04, 09:33 AM
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Good list, Baliko.

I'd also add Levi Leipheimer.
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Old 12-17-04, 12:07 PM
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ya but have you seen leipheimer wife Odesa! she's hot!!
crossdude...
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Old 12-17-04, 02:41 PM
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Levi isn't ugly - he's just bald, there's a big difference.





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Old 12-17-04, 02:59 PM
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Originally Posted by crossdude
ya but have you seen leipheimer wife Odesa! she's hot!!
crossdude...
Definitely... there should be an automatic 10 point credit for funny looking guys with hot wives.
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Old 12-17-04, 03:26 PM
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Wow...Odessa...I think she is worth more than 10!
RT
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Old 12-19-04, 08:33 PM
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Honorable mention to Laurent Brochard.... just for the mullet.

P.S. Gustaf, you have waaayyyy too much time...
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