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So are the days of our lives...

Old 04-29-16, 06:10 AM
  #14526  
topflightpro
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Originally Posted by hack View Post
Soon enough your social circle will be the parents of the other kids your kids do toddler stuff with. One year old birthday parties and whatnot.
My wife and I have no plans to have children (we've been married almost 11 years now, I don't think that will change), but we watched a lot of our friends have children.

At first, the friendship kind of continues along normally. Then the kid's first birthday rolls around, and all the friends from the childless days are there, along with five or six new couples there with kids. The conversation is largely about the kids.

Then the second birthday, and only about half the friends from the childless days are there and 10-12 couples with kids. The conversation is almost entirely about the kids.

By the time the third birthday rolls around, we really haven't seen our friends much in the past year. They have a new life with new friends who all have kids.

For me, this isn't as big of an issue. Most of the guys on my team have kids, and we all get together pretty much weekly to ride and have a few beers - in the winter, it's every other week and just beers. They want to get away from their families for a bit, and I know at least one wife is happy to have her husband out of the house so she can watch her TV shows without his commentary. We mostly chat about cycling and other crap.

But for my wife, it's a lot tougher. When she gets together with a bunch of other women who are moms, the conversation almost always sticks to the children.
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Old 04-29-16, 06:12 AM
  #14527  
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Originally Posted by rankin116 View Post
Welcome to the dark side. Let the self loathing flow through you.
It's only one ride. I still have not uploaded the app to my phone. And because I have a PC8, there currently is no Bluetooth/WiFi auto upload setting available, meaning I have to actually plug my computer in and upload the files.
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Old 04-29-16, 06:35 AM
  #14528  
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regarding parents/kids/friends: we've bounced around a bit in the past 4.5 years since we moved back to MA, so my son hasn't been around the same group of kids long enough to really make friends. Even at his current daycare he has a couple of friends but never outside of the daycare context. He'll be in kindergarten in the fall, so maybe things will start to change. But neither my wife nor I are really all that interested in making friends through our son. We just have a thing against forced social interactions haha

Sad thing for me is I have virtually no social life, I moved back to MA a few years back but people I've known either live elsewhere or we've just grown apart. Work isn't much help, people tend to be a lot older (and I'm 36) so there's not a lot besides pleasantries. And now a lot more people are working at home full time so there are days where I'll only see one or two people. It's a good thing I like my family lol
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Old 04-29-16, 06:41 AM
  #14529  
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the friend thing is usually seen through rose colored glasses, but the reality is losing touch is normal. I'm a little unique in that I'm still super tight with my childhhod friends (age 3 on). We still manage getting together only once or twice a year. People have families, busy jobs. Hobbies. One of my closest college age friends has a daughter my son's age and they're friends. We still don't manage seeing them more than once a year. I talk to these folks every several weeks, but the reality is *that when you consider 8 or so moving relational parts the difficulty becomes apparent.
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Old 04-29-16, 06:45 AM
  #14530  
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Originally Posted by topflightpro View Post
It's only one ride. I still have not uploaded the app to my phone. And because I have a PC8, there currently is no Bluetooth/WiFi auto upload setting available, meaning I have to actually plug my computer in and upload the files.
Don't fight against it, that'll just make the transition worse.
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Old 04-29-16, 07:04 AM
  #14531  
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Originally Posted by Doge View Post
Have those. Decided not to use them. Junior want's to tell USAC director he has to keep mirror to make weight.
I'd be interested in the outcome of that ruling.
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Old 04-29-16, 07:17 AM
  #14532  
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Originally Posted by gsteinb View Post
the friend thing is usually seen through rose colored glasses, but the reality is losing touch is normal. I'm a little unique in that I'm still super tight with my childhhod friends (age 3 on). We still manage getting together only once or twice a year. People have families, busy jobs. Hobbies. One of my closest college age friends has a daughter my son's age and they're friends. We still don't manage seeing them more than once a year. I talk to these folks every several weeks, but the reality is *that when you consider 8 or so moving relational parts the difficulty becomes apparent.
This is an interesting conversation. Both of our kids are special needs, so the friendships we made while they were young naturally fell out of that. Then they got a little older, we moved out of the area, and we only see one family on a regular basis, but with them it's like we never left. If we go out to dinner, we close the joint. Just can't stop talking. Interestingly enough, we will be moving back to that area later this year or next spring, so we'll see how that changes things.

Now my kids, they're millenials, it's totally different for them. They hold onto friends forever, at least in their sphere of life. My oldest son shares an apartment with two kids he went to preschool with. Their relationships range from Snapchat to living together, but they keep those relationships, and their network, going. Much better than I have.
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Old 04-29-16, 07:24 AM
  #14533  
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Yeah I lived with one of those guys from my childhood neighborhood in college. We were all in one another's weddings. Etc etc. But the reality is there's limited time now. I can't even count how many times I've said no to some social engagement due to a bike race conflict.
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Old 04-29-16, 07:54 AM
  #14534  
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My kids are 14 and 17, when they were younger we spent a lot of time with the parents of their friends at parties, sports, school stuff etc but about 5 years ago there was a big shift when we didn't need to be around for those events. We still see and know the kid's friends pretty well and love having groups of loud teenage boys at our house, but we definitely lost touch with the parents. I know that a lot of those parents still hang out but I remember at the time thinking I didn't really have anything in common with those people outside of our kids and the friendship was temporary. It was interesting rebuilding my own social circle as the kids got older, I had lost touch with most of my pre-kid friends, but cycling definitely helped me make form new friendships.
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Old 04-29-16, 07:54 AM
  #14535  
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Originally Posted by TheKillerPenguin View Post
AAA has shorn half a mountainside producing the expiration notices it has sent me over the past 2 months.
They send me a ton of stuff trying to get me to buy life insurance, many times what I get related to car insurance. I get these huge official looking envelopes that hardly fit in the mail box and they have stuff printed on the outside like
"important documents" or "you're accepted".
On the other hand I think AARP has given up on me, I got their stuff for years but not lately.
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Old 04-29-16, 08:28 AM
  #14536  
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Originally Posted by topflightpro View Post
But for my wife, it's a lot tougher. When she gets together with a bunch of other women who are moms, the conversation almost always sticks to the children.
in which case, perhaps send out invites with New Yorker cartoons and make people caption those at the gathering. I'm sure some Dave Brubeck and dry martinis won't hurt, either
Originally Posted by shovelhd View Post

Now my kids, they're millenials, it's totally different for them. They hold onto friends forever, at least in their sphere of life. My oldest son shares an apartment with two kids he went to preschool with. Their relationships range from Snapchat to living together, but they keep those relationships, and their network, going. Much better than I have.
i think you give us too much credit... i'd like to be closer, but geographical constrains is a real *****

Originally Posted by gsteinb View Post
the friend thing is usually seen through rose colored glasses, but the reality is losing touch is normal. I'm a little unique in that I'm still super tight with my childhhod friends (age 3 on). We still manage getting together only once or twice a year. People have families, busy jobs. Hobbies. One of my closest college age friends has a daughter my son's age and they're friends. We still don't manage seeing them more than once a year. I talk to these folks every several weeks, but the reality is *that when you consider 8 or so moving relational parts the difficulty becomes apparent.
Originally Posted by hubcyclist View Post
regarding parents/kids/friends: we've bounced around a bit in the past 4.5 years since we moved back to MA, so my son hasn't been around the same group of kids long enough to really make friends. Even at his current daycare he has a couple of friends but never outside of the daycare context. He'll be in kindergarten in the fall, so maybe things will start to change. But neither my wife nor I are really all that interested in making friends through our son. We just have a thing against forced social interactions haha

Sad thing for me is I have virtually no social life, I moved back to MA a few years back but people I've known either live elsewhere or we've just grown apart. Work isn't much help, people tend to be a lot older (and I'm 36) so there's not a lot besides pleasantries. And now a lot more people are working at home full time so there are days where I'll only see one or two people. It's a good thing I like my family lol
i have almost no social life through work, save from the tri-club of which i'm a member. Pretty soon i'll be moving 150 miles from where work is officially based while still being an employee at the current work place, which should make things interesting. Otoh, i'd be a lot closer to my alma pater and the group of friends i made there; icing on the cake would be that i think i can still race with the cycling team of my alma pater next year.
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Old 04-29-16, 09:12 AM
  #14537  
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Originally Posted by spectastic View Post
my current road bike weighs 19.5 lbs with race wheels. how does that make you feel?
It does not give me a feeling. That is about the weight of the bike I ride. I think 19# with race wheels is heavy for a race bike. Juniors TT bike is under 17#.
After junior got DQ'd at nationals last year (weight) I weighed about 10 bikes. Most were 15-16 with 3 under 15.
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Old 04-29-16, 09:23 AM
  #14538  
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Originally Posted by shovelhd View Post
I'd be interested in the outcome of that ruling.
I don't think it will be brought up. I expect it will be more in the opinion of the referee that day. I did look for both USAC and UCI rules that would not allow it and couldn't find anything. He's raced about 3 years on and off with one (does not fit his ENVE SES bars) and never had any issues, although he did not race with a mirror in UCI races which last year were cobbles. This one has been scratched already and does not seem to be glass. I was with the technical director for Gila (UCI 2.2) last weekend and forgot to ask, but he was looking at my son's bike - it didn't come up.
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Old 04-29-16, 09:36 AM
  #14539  
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By ruling I meant the decision of the referee at a national event. Sounds like they let it go. If I run up against one out here that will be there basis of my opinion, or decision if I'm the CR. If it's ok for national events then it's ok for regional.

The ones I have use a glass lens but they are not removable.
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Old 04-29-16, 11:44 AM
  #14540  
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Originally Posted by globecanvas View Post
I think, or hope, that's unusual. We have dozens of friends we originally met because our kids were the same age. And a ton of people who we know because of kid things, aren't necessarily close friends with, but are friendly with.

One interesting thing about the parents-of-other-kids social dynamic is that public school is a great leveler of social walls that we're not even necessarily aware of existing. It's not like people make conscious choices to only be friends with people who are similar to them in general interests, socioeconomic status, political views, etc, but it naturally happens. But kids don't yet have those social grouping cues so they make friends with whoever they want, so you end up spending time with people who there's just no way you would naturally be friends with, which can be a good thing (it can be awkward too, but on balance it's good to get out of your social comfort zone, or at least to be reminded of where your comfort zone is, imo).
I think we're unusual. I'd go as far as to say we're sort of anti-social, meaning we don't go out of our way to do things with other people. I don't know if it's the promoting thing for me, like if it's because of that, or I became a promoter because of the way I am, but I tend not to make close friends. People know promoters on the surface. I "know" a lot of people but, for example, don't get together with virtually any of them for a dinner or a drink or even a ride. That might be the way I am, or maybe I became that way. Or it might be something more mundane, like the fact that a lot of people I meet through racing live really far away.

Also, very astute observation on meeting "different" people. The parents of the kid that Junior plays with most is totally not someone I'd normally meet or speak with. This is also true with the parents of the girl who is just a bit older than him. Although we met them before Junior came along, we normally don't hang out with them (I actually avoided them). We see them more now because of Junior, and I've since learned a bit more about them (making them much less of the kind of people I'd try to avoid).
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Old 04-29-16, 11:53 AM
  #14541  
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hm this is what you get for leaving a response half completed for 5 hours and then posting the response. more interesting responses.
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Old 04-29-16, 12:07 PM
  #14542  
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This week is going to friggen hurt. Speed Week starts tomorrow.
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Old 04-29-16, 12:19 PM
  #14543  
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A baby bike seat (Rhode gear) can go on a road bike, right? I only ever see them on mountain/hybrid bikes.
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Old 04-29-16, 12:21 PM
  #14544  
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Originally Posted by big john View Post
They send me a ton of stuff trying to get me to buy life insurance, many times what I get related to car insurance. I get these huge official looking envelopes that hardly fit in the mail box and they have stuff printed on the outside like
"important documents" or "you're accepted".
On the other hand I think AARP has given up on me, I got their stuff for years but not lately.
That **** is so shady. I was actually going to renew my AAA membership UNTIL I received a bunch of their junk mail over the course of a week that said similar shady things. It hasn't stopped them from continuing to send me stuff though
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Old 04-29-16, 12:33 PM
  #14545  
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Originally Posted by canuckbelle View Post
This week is going to friggen hurt. Speed Week starts tomorrow.
Good luck!
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Old 04-29-16, 12:44 PM
  #14546  
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Originally Posted by Gramercy View Post
A baby bike seat (Rhode gear) can go on a road bike, right? I only ever see them on mountain/hybrid bikes.
Yes, with the right adapters and such. However, remember that there is no "suspension" for the kid. A big rear tire is about the only thing you can offer as cushion from road shock (or a blanket in the seat, etc).

I consider myself pretty risk averse. I sold those seats (and similar ones by another manufacturer) for years and years. However when it came down to it I didn't want to put Junior in one, even if I was the person pedaling the bike, on a MUP.

I do have many friends who take or took their kids out in those seats though. I just didn't want to do it myself.
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Old 04-29-16, 12:45 PM
  #14547  
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Originally Posted by Gramercy View Post
A baby bike seat (Rhode gear) can go on a road bike, right? I only ever see them on mountain/hybrid bikes.
Don't see why not. As long as you have rack bosses, it shouldn't be a problem. And even if you don't, there are work arounds. Check out problemsolvers.com

That said, when my kids were little, I bought an old Specialized Rock Hopper at a yardsale to pull their trailer. Kids are 12 now and I still use that bike as a commuter/utility/beater. Best $40 I ever spent, bike-wise.
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Old 04-29-16, 02:40 PM
  #14548  
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Originally Posted by topflightpro View Post
My wife and I have no plans to have children (we've been married almost 11 years now, I don't think that will change), but we watched a lot of our friends have children.

At first, the friendship kind of continues along normally. Then the kid's first birthday rolls around, and all the friends from the childless days are there, along with five or six new couples there with kids. The conversation is largely about the kids.

Then the second birthday, and only about half the friends from the childless days are there and 10-12 couples with kids. The conversation is almost entirely about the kids.

By the time the third birthday rolls around, we really haven't seen our friends much in the past year. They have a new life with new friends who all have kids.

For me, this isn't as big of an issue. Most of the guys on my team have kids, and we all get together pretty much weekly to ride and have a few beers - in the winter, it's every other week and just beers. They want to get away from their families for a bit, and I know at least one wife is happy to have her husband out of the house so she can watch her TV shows without his commentary. We mostly chat about cycling and other crap.

But for my wife, it's a lot tougher. When she gets together with a bunch of other women who are moms, the conversation almost always sticks to the children.
As a couple with no kids, we went through this same cycle.
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Old 04-29-16, 03:44 PM
  #14549  
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I basically have 3 circles of friends: childhood friends; cycling friends; and parents of my kids' friends. In some cases they overlap, which is nice.
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Old 04-29-16, 04:26 PM
  #14550  
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Going to no kids (living at home) is also quite a transition. I was stuck back east during 911 when kids were small and that event changed where my energy went. For the first time in 10 years I'm back to focusing on work over my kid's stuff. For some weird reason the transition is welcomed. Maybe I think #2 is the government's to deal with while #1 has got it all under control. But our focus on child achievement (vicarious, helicopter or whatever label) made finding the like minded friends a bit more difficult.
What is/was common to those few that shared our views is it is not as much living through the kids as it seems, but more our[parents] sport. Like, as mentioned on my profile, racing horses. No - kids are not horses, but still it is a family thing.
I love feed zone conversations. Talked to a dad who was feeding his son in the P12 Livermore race and I was listening to him sound like me. He said something like "soon it is going to be over". I mentioned "I know what you mean, mine is off to college", he corrected me and said, no - mine's an engineer and 37. This P12 stuff is getting hard with his job and travel and ...
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