You're not alone in this. Stress is a killer. I've had some of those suicidal thoughts, been a hardcore alcoholic, bleeding ulcer, the whole bit. One time, at the doctor for chest pain, he told me my heart was fine and to go ride my bike. Just hearing that from him made me feel better. Nothing de-stresses me like a long ride with friends. Friends are great for this stress stuff, too.
I know, it's easy for me to say this stuff over the 'net, and I have no idea how tough your life is, but I think the people here will support you and be your friends. Good luck, and have some good fun.