Originally Posted by
devilshaircut
The bike: Fixed gear, nice but not too pimped out, nice, solid-color frame with matching Velocity rims and tires, bullhorns or straight bars, sometimes with a top tube pad.
The perpetrator: Some guy, swerving right or left constantly, no messenger bag, looks homeless, clothes completely dirty, faint fecal scent mixed with liquor in his wake.
Except for the Velocities, you've described me to a 'T'. I assure you, my bikes are not stolen.