just an update: 2 hours later and at least 20 minutes of washing my hands, the cassette is cleaned, the front two chain rings are clean, lubed the derailluers, wiped down everything, replaced the chain and fixed the brake cable. Turns out that it was a combination of crap in the housing entrances that was screwing the cable, so after i cleaned that out and yanked the cable nice and hard it works just fine. I was considering running back up to the store to get whatever i needed to pull off the cranks to clean those bits, but made do with some Q-tips to swipe the buildup out.
Did i miss anything small but incredibly vital for a spring cleanup?
Thanks for the tip on the cable tension JT, fixed the shifting right up. Chain might have helped too, was about time for a new one (800ish miles).
Also, i think it was in the helpful tips section, so thanks for whomever noted that a seatpost can be used as a breaker bar, i was on the verge of verbal armageddon until i remembered that tip when i was after the cassette.