I don't see the utility in framing compatibility/conflict issues in term of gender as much as individual personalities,,since that is who are riding together, individuals. When my daughter went on a bike trip with a girlfriend she was worried about feeling burdened with monitoring her friends bicycle care and planning, so she relaxed that assumption of responsibility and was pleased to see how well her friend was doing.
I have done some touring with my girlfriend and it's honestly not pleasant because she finds the activity too stressful. There's nothing I can do that will change the discomfort she experiences when a car drives by at 50mph, there's nothing I can do that can reduce the nature of climbing long hills. I've tried being quiet, talking, riding with her, in front of her, behind her. The solution is pretty simple, not to plan a ride with her until she can ride in those conditions comfortably.
Last edited by LeeG; 04-22-09 at 02:08 PM.