I wasn't going to write anything else because I thought the thread had run its course... but in response:
Rowan: I didn't mention the type of bike because I figured it would just give some people further reason to ridicule me, and whilst I'm pretty easy going and don't mind a bit of that, I didn't see the point of inviting it further. The bike is a Black Diamond 2007 Outlook with Schwalbe Marathon Plus Tyres, his name is Edward. I got the bike with the best components that I could. So there you go mate, have a laugh. Please note, I intend on taking public transport for some of this trip. To be honest, I'm not sure why you'd be giving me the one finger salute if it doesn't end up working out. I don't know what I have done to warrant that, or how any of this has affected you.
Machka: I wouldn't compare what I'm doing with the Tour D'Afrique. Things aren't quite as bad as you think (yeah sure they're close, but not quite as bad!). Thanks for the practical advice you gave me. Nutrition is one thing I do understand. I've only stayed in a 5-star hotel once. Its not something I'm used to... I've slept in a car for 6 months, a tent will be fine. But I have taken note of what you have said and appreciate the effort you made in your comments.
Amerferanga: I hope you don't hate the bike too much. I hope you like the tyres. Thanks for your support, though I feel bad that you're copping flack from people just for being nice to me. Sorry about that.
Cave: Thanks for your advice. I was talking to the guy in the bikeshop about carrying water, about putting three bottles on the frame like I have seen in pictures. He said in order to do that I would need just a normal cage to put on the upright part and then some sort of cage that carried two bottles to put on the lower cross bar thing, that I couldn't just attach two cages, one either side (I hope that makes sense). He said he didn't know where I could get a cage that took two water bottles, do you know somewhere in melbourne where i can get one? Or is he wrong? Also, I'm not bringing a camp stove, I don't want to cook.