Last time this happened, 'bout 3 weeks ago, it went like this:
I'm in the lane, coming up to a red light, at a "no turn on red" intersection, when I hear a tap on the horn behind me. I glance back, and see dude in a POS jag throw up his arms and start flailing with anger. Naturally, I exaduratedly mimic his assinine behavoir for a sec, then track stand at the light.
Dude pulls up on my right, about 4 feet away, rolls down his window, and starts with the "get outta the road you F***in f****t, on your f****t bike etc." I let him go on for a half a minute as I stare right at him, then in a scream, that made all the peds and drivers around look over, I go "I GOT AS MUCH RIGHT AS YOU DO TO BE IN THE ROAD, YOU IGNORANT MUTHAFUKIN *******, WHY DON'T YOU LEARN THE FUKIN LAW AND SHUT THE FUK UP! FUK YOU! etc."
This puts him in shock for 10 sec, then he proceeds to try to shout over me, again with the anti-*****exual epithets. Light turns green, I proceed straight, he goes right, as we continue the verbal sparring. I throw in an "a*****e!" to get the last word, which causes him to suddenly forget to keep his car on the correct path, and pull a hard left in the middle of turning right, which nearly lands him on the sidewalk, as he shouts "What was that?"
I look to my left and right to make sure it was clear, stop in the intersection, and shout "ASS---HOLE!" annunciating clearly for his benefit. Dude opens his door with his obnoxiously-huge-obviously-fake-gold-watch-adorned hand, half gets out and says "come over here and be a man, let's make something of it!" I ride off to work, laughing out loud, reveling in smug satisfaction.
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Only thing I wish I had said was "you're not worth it" when he stepped with the fightin words.
I know this was somewhat juvenile, definitely unecessary behavior, but man was it satisfying. Esp. his face when I actually responded in kind, much to his surprise. Plus it had me pumped up for the ride home, when I had to verbally regulate on a crazy lady in her minivan.