Kate, feeling overwhelmed is quite normal.
We've all been there, trust me. You did both a very courageous and correct approach, though, in bringing the feelings out in the open, and finding out you weren't alone in it. That's part of te reason I and everyone else in here works so hard to keep this community in the dynamic we've developed.
The wife is doing well in her PT, still very painful, but she's getting her range of motion back and the strength. The pain will start reducing soon, I'm sure.