Kucharik has been around for quite a while (
http://www.kucharik.com) and still offers real chamois on most of their shorts. I had some wool ones long ago and they were great. My last purchased set of 4 was Giordona (Coolmax, this time) from at least 10 years ago (real chamois)...
I don't know how you wash your chamois (I use Tide Free in a washing machine), but all I ever do is rub the left side against the right after it dries and it returns to the soft, smooth leather as always. I have never used a cream to soften the chamois on any of my shorts.