Go Back  Bike Forums > Bike Forums > Advocacy & Safety
Reload this Page >

My friend is an idiot, what do I do?

Notices
Advocacy & Safety Cyclists should expect and demand safe accommodation on every public road, just as do all other users. Discuss your bicycle advocacy and safety concerns here.

My friend is an idiot, what do I do?

Old 10-11-10, 05:12 PM
  #1  
Six feet please
Thread Starter
 
Noobtastic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Posts: 148

Bikes: Specialized rockhopper, Ross gran tour

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
My friend is an idiot, what do I do?

I got one of my best friends into cycling a while ago, to the extent that he bought a nice new road bike and began commuting to school immediately. For his first few rides I tried my best to show him proper ways to ride on the road like where to take the lane, how to deal with intersections and how to be assertive where drivers are looking to take advantage of you. I explained to him why he should plan peaceful routes rather than riding the sidewalk on busy roads and why riding with his headphones on is a stupid idea ("But riding with my tunes gets me soo pumped dude"). But he still rode like an asshat and eventually got hit by a car, because he was riding haphazardly on a main road at night with no lights. He was thrown across the road and because he was wearing no helmet suffered a scalp torn open and was concussed for at least two weeks; luckily, he suffered no further injuries.

Now he's back on the saddle; he's actually still waiting for a new fork for his bike so I lent him my rockhopper for the meantime and gave him one of my helmets. So far he has not changed the way he rides, he does not listen for cars coming up behind him or even look for cars before changing lanes, he rarely regards stop signs and the helmet that I gave him has been worn only once. The biggest issue I have with riding with him now is that he has not even considered getting a set of lights since his accident, even though we generally only have time to ride at night. I get uneasy because I usually can't see him in the dark when we ride so I make him ride in front of my magicshine headlight. Now I've decided that I simply won't ride at night with him till he invests in a lightset but he's hardheaded and probably will not consider it seriously. The responses I've gotten when warning him about the consequences of cycling like this is " Don't talk like that man, it's bad karma". I've also discussed this with other friends who just respond with talk about how Keagan is who he is and how he never learns. I'm even more worried because he's planning a 150 mile trip as soon as his bike is back in order and I bet he'll buy some cheap walmart lights for the highways if he considers buying a set at all.

I'm happy that I finally got someone to see the fun in cycling, but I don't want my best friend to die. After his accident he actually seemed to have had an eye opening experience (mentioning many times how he should be dead) but it seems like all that talk was to make people feel bad for him. How can I really open his eyes to let him know that he's acting like an idiot?

Edit: I'm really tempted to somehow get him a citation for riding ninja but that seems like a terrible thing to do, especially since he's struggling to pay off the citation for his earlier accident.

Last edited by Noobtastic; 10-11-10 at 05:16 PM.
Noobtastic is offline  
Old 10-11-10, 05:16 PM
  #2  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Sacramento
Posts: 379

Bikes: SR, Bianchi, Raleigh, Bertin, Kona, Schwinn, Eisentraut, Zunow, Columbine, Naked, Nishiki, Phillips, Specialized, Giant

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 17 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Ygbsm!
Chief is offline  
Old 10-11-10, 05:17 PM
  #3  
Senior Member
 
caloso's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Sacramento, California, USA
Posts: 40,865

Bikes: Specialized Tarmac, Canyon Exceed, Specialized Transition, Ellsworth Roots, Ridley Excalibur

Mentioned: 68 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2953 Post(s)
Liked 3,106 Times in 1,417 Posts
I wouldn't waste my time trying to convince him that he's acting like an idiot. But I would get my bike back. You could say "Give me back my bike." [optional: "You're likely to destroy it because you ride like an idiot.]
caloso is offline  
Old 10-11-10, 05:45 PM
  #4  
Senior Member
 
oban_kobi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: California
Posts: 542

Bikes: Trek 7.2 FX, Custom Vintage FG

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
Hm, I have a friend a bit like that. He's not quiet so bad, but he's very spacey, and the most unassertive yet overconfident person I've met. I do my best to get him to ride better, occasionally yelling at him when he does something ridiculous, like try to beat lights when he obviously won't be able to make it. He's gotten better through repeatedly telling him what he was doing right, and what he was doing wrong. Just keep trying to get through to him, show him horrific pictures of crashes. But take your bike back! Let him wreck his own.
oban_kobi is offline  
Old 10-11-10, 05:46 PM
  #5  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Far beyond the pale horizon.
Posts: 14,402
Mentioned: 34 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4336 Post(s)
Liked 1,410 Times in 987 Posts
Originally Posted by Noobtastic
...we generally only have time to ride at night. I get uneasy ...
Don't ride with him (night or day).
njkayaker is offline  
Old 10-11-10, 06:13 PM
  #6  
Senior Member
 
gcottay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Green Valley AZ
Posts: 3,770

Bikes: Trice Q; Volae Century; TT 3.4

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Originally Posted by njkayaker
Don't ride with him (night or day).
And let him know the reason for your decision. You do not want to be there when he is killed or maimed.
gcottay is offline  
Old 10-11-10, 06:34 PM
  #7  
Refrigerator Raider Hater
 
fordmanvt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Barre, VT
Posts: 808

Bikes: 2008 Sequoia

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Maybe a bit harsh, but this person does not sound like a friend at all.
fordmanvt is offline  
Old 10-11-10, 06:38 PM
  #8  
thompsonpost
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Mentioned: Post(s)
Tagged: Thread(s)
Quoted: Post(s)
You loaned him a bike?
 
Old 10-11-10, 07:21 PM
  #9  
Godfather of Soul
 
SBRDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 1,517

Bikes: 2002 Litespeed Vortex, 2010 Specialized Tricross Expert,2008 Gary Fischer Hi Fi Carbon, 2002 Specialized S-Works hard tail, 1990 Kestrel KM 40

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
unfortunately, all you can do is give good advice, but you can't save people from themselves. if that were possible, the world would be a much different and better place.
SBRDude is offline  
Old 10-11-10, 07:43 PM
  #10  
Conservative Hippie
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Wakulla Co. FL
Posts: 4,271
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Tell him you want to take out a life insurance policy on him with you as the sole beneficiary.
CommuterRun is offline  
Old 10-11-10, 07:49 PM
  #11  
Single-serving poster
 
electrik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 5,098
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Originally Posted by CommuterRun
Tell him you want to take out a life insurance policy on him with you as the sole beneficiary.
lol - sadly this guy sounds like a sure thing.

Really though, say your bit, say it again then stop riding with them... what else is there todo - aside from trying to have him committed(not likely).
electrik is offline  
Old 10-11-10, 09:00 PM
  #12  
nubcake
 
devin3294's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 102

Bikes: Surly Steamroller '10 53cm, Kink Gap bmx '09

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
i have a friend that is not as bad as your friend but still makes me nervous when he goes out on his bike. he is not a very good rider and he lacks skills that most should have when riding a bike yet goes out on the highways to ride his bike alongside it. ridiculous
devin3294 is offline  
Old 10-11-10, 09:19 PM
  #13  
Tortoise Wins by a Hare!
 
AlmostTrick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Looney Tunes, IL
Posts: 7,398

Bikes: Wabi Special FG, Raleigh Roper, Nashbar AL-1, Miyata One Hundred, '70 Schwinn Lemonator and More!!

Mentioned: 22 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1549 Post(s)
Liked 942 Times in 504 Posts
Sign him up for a LAB road course and join him. Send him to the "Steet Smarts" website on safe cycling by John Allen, or give him a copy of "The Art of Cycling" by Robert Hurst. Any of these things has to help at least a little... or maybe a lot.

Originally Posted by Noobtastic
I got one of my best friends into cycling a while ago...
Like you, I'd have no problem giving a best friend a bike, and getting them a light. Heck, I've done that for coworkers. Pedal On!

Last edited by AlmostTrick; 10-15-10 at 07:59 PM. Reason: Added link
AlmostTrick is offline  
Old 10-11-10, 09:27 PM
  #14  
Senior Member
 
wheel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Crystal MN
Posts: 2,147
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
You will follow all the laws and where a helmet or I won't lend you this bike.

You ride like a dumb ass, please as your friend protect yourself and follow the laws.
wheel is offline  
Old 10-11-10, 09:33 PM
  #15  
Senior Member
 
zonatandem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 11,016

Bikes: Custom Zona c/f tandem + Scott Plasma single

Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 77 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 19 Times in 11 Posts
Loaning him your bike is like giving him a loaded gun to play with . . .
zonatandem is offline  
Old 10-11-10, 09:39 PM
  #16  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Eugene, Oregon
Posts: 7,048
Mentioned: 10 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 509 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 9 Times in 8 Posts
My retirement funds could use a bit of a boost. Please send me his contact info. so I can take out a life insurance policy on him. I'll pay a 15% finder's fee to you and double it if you keep him on the bike.

All kidding aside, all you can do is give him the benefit of your wisdom. He is likely to eventually get it if you give him enough space to change his ways without feeling like he is following your orders. Be clever and good luck.
B. Carfree is offline  
Old 10-11-10, 09:40 PM
  #17  
vol
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,807
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Liked 19 Times in 13 Posts
Seems like your friend wants to test how tough his skull is?? I suggest you tell him about this forum, which is very educational.
vol is offline  
Old 10-11-10, 11:50 PM
  #18  
CRIKEY!!!!!!!
 
Cyclaholic's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: all the way down under
Posts: 4,276

Bikes: several

Mentioned: 37 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1608 Post(s)
Liked 695 Times in 372 Posts
Your friend is a dickhead. Go get your bike back so it doesn't get written off when he does.
Cyclaholic is offline  
Old 10-11-10, 11:52 PM
  #19  
Senior Member
 
zeppinger's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,016

Bikes: Giant FCR3, Surly LHT

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 23 Post(s)
Liked 4 Times in 4 Posts
Sabotage his bike. Disconnect his brake cables, loosen his headset, or cut a few of his spokes. Make him crash over and over again until he learns!
zeppinger is offline  
Old 10-12-10, 12:03 AM
  #20  
Six feet please
Thread Starter
 
Noobtastic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Posts: 148

Bikes: Specialized rockhopper, Ross gran tour

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanks for the input guys; I loaned him a bike because he simply needed a way to get around, I will be taking it back this week since I know that he does not care for it/watch it as well as he would his own and I don't want our friendship ruined by something petty like a damaged or stolen bicycle. He'll be done repairing his own bike soon anyway.
I went out on my bike alone tonight, meeting him at a central place rather than riding together, so I wasn't stressed out from daddying him around. I think I'll do this more often, but I hope it doesn't end up with him being hit again from ninja riding alone; the only thing I've taught him that really stuck is taking the lane, which he will do alone in pitch darkness. I'm not buying him any lights, and hopefully he's not waiting for me to do so (I bought a $15 lightset for another friend last week) because he should be thinking about how to prevent another accident from happening rather than riding around like he's in Utopia. Even in Utopia I'd think ninja cyclists would be viewed as asshats.
Noobtastic is offline  
Old 10-12-10, 12:05 AM
  #21  
Randomhead
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Happy Valley, Pennsylvania
Posts: 24,508
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Liked 3,802 Times in 2,593 Posts
this is why concern trolls that come in here to report bad cyclist behavior get such a negative reaction. We can only control ourselves, there is no way to control the actions of others. Even in this case, where people are friends, it's really difficult to get any influence. I find that helping people come to an understanding by themselves is the best approach. Asking the right question can be effective where a million statements of fact will not.
unterhausen is offline  
Old 10-12-10, 12:33 AM
  #22  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Texarkana, AR
Posts: 691

Bikes: 2016 Giant Escape, Univega Viva Sport, Centurion Sport DLX, Trek 420, Schwinn Sierra, Schwinn Hurricane

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by Noobtastic
I will be taking it back this week since I know that he does not care for it/watch it as well as he would his own
This is not, repeat NOT a friend of yours. This is an ******* that's taking advantage of you. Friends take BETTER care of their friends' things than they do of their own. When I drove, if I borrowed a friends' car, I drove carefully and defensively. If it was my own car, I drove like an asshat. I brought the friends' car back full of gas. Mine rarely had a full tank.

Seriously, get your bike back from this false friend, and don't go riding with him anymore. With friends like that, who needs enemas?
Fasteryoufool is offline  
Old 10-12-10, 12:35 AM
  #23  
Senior Member
 
Captain Blight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 2,470

Bikes: -1973 Motobecane Mirage -197? Velosolex L'Etoile -'71 Raleigh Super Course

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 2 Times in 2 Posts
I'm sorry to have to be the one who says this, but all prima faciae evidence points to your friend being an effin' moron. Are you sure he actually and in point of fact has two brain cells he can rub together?

All the advocacy in the world ain't gonna fix stupid.
Captain Blight is offline  
Old 10-12-10, 12:48 AM
  #24  
aka Jerome
 
CritEastwood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Colorado Again
Posts: 1,080

Bikes: Yes

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
find better friends
CritEastwood is offline  
Old 10-12-10, 12:58 AM
  #25  
Senior Member
 
zeppinger's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,016

Bikes: Giant FCR3, Surly LHT

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 23 Post(s)
Liked 4 Times in 4 Posts
Originally Posted by Fasteryoufool

Seriously, get your bike back from this false friend, and don't go riding with him anymore. With friends like that, who needs enemas?
Who needs enemas?
zeppinger is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.