905

First, apologies for the acronym: actually it's Helmet Thread Addiction Syndrome. However, I'm sure you can agree that as a name, HAT Syndrome beats HTA Syndrome hands down. What's a little dyslexia between friends?

Second, most humble apologies to the powers that be for starting what may appear to be another helmet thread, when it's clear that, as a great philosopher put it,



My intent is to examine not helmets per se, but helmet thread addiction. I have no desire to solicit comments on the pros and cons of helmets here. However, I fully understand if a decision is taken at paygrades much higher than mine that, as another philosopher put it,



But enough preamble. Are you addicted to the helmet thread? If so, it's nothing to be ashamed of. We're all addicted to something. I have an aunt who can't stop posting youtube videos of her cat sneezing. She otherwise leads a normal life. As long as HAT Syndrome doesn't crowd out more important things in life, like sleep, sex, waiting in line for the newest iphone, and riding your bike, I would say don't give it another thought.

If you're the sort who's going to worry anyway, there are certain classic signs.

You may be addicted to the helmet thread if you:
- Have read the whole thing. And the one before. And the one before.
- Dream about it. Then wake up and find that you've sleepwalked to your computer, logged in, and your unseeing eyes are staring at it. Then wake up again, because that was a dream, too.
- Have all the regulars on a spreadsheet.
- Repeat yourself.
- Repeat yourself.
- Refuse to vacation in Australia (helmets compulsory) or Holland ("Helm? Wat helm?") as a matter of principle because of something you read on the helmet thread.
- Put on your helmet before you sit down to post. (To be fair, you could fall off your chair.)
- Start a thread about helmet thread addiction. Write songs.
- Are considering getting a helmet tattooed on your scalp, to have the best of both worlds.

If you think your addiction is a problem, there are steps you can take:
- Use net nanny software configured to block any content mentioning the H-word.
- Use alternate coping skills. At least that's what Dr. Phil says. Replace this thread addiction with another one. How about Beach Cruisers? Those sound relaxing, don't they? Plus there's a lower probability of helmets being mentioned.
- Have a support system. Whenever you feel yourself weakening, call a buddy. Somebody who's been there; somebody who understands; somebody who won't mind a call in the middle of the night when the demons come.
- Reward yourself when you succeed. Buy something nice.

If you do decide to seek help from a qualified mental health practitioner, you may be able to get a reduced rate by folding your helmet thread addiction into your overall forum addiction.

350htrr

My 1st 100% at anything...

shipwreck

Sorry to mess up your hundred percent there, 350. But sometimes I can't sleep, and reading the helmet thread is like a mug of warm milk and a cookie. Puts me right out.

B. Carfree

I'd forgotten it existed. Maybe I should relapse and go have a looksee.

Brennan

I like your posts, 905. Hope you stick around for a while.

Brennan

Heh, you would think so. However, the only flame war I recall ever getting into here was in the Beach Cruiser forum, and it was over the title of the forum, of all things. You'd be amazed at how discussions about seemingly benign subjects can quickly unravel into vicious arguments 'round these parts.

905

Thank you kindly.

This, from early in this iteration of the helmet thread, may be apropos:

905

Don't ever try to change me,
I been in this thing too long.
There's nothin' you can say or do
To make me think I'm wrong.



While listening to one of the more nasally troubadours on my playlist, it struck me that at least one day a year all regular participants of the helmet thread should argue from the opposite point of view. I'm not saying anybody needs to have their mind changed, but what is standard prep on debating teams might make for an interesting in an parallel universe conversation.

---

A few days later...

Rollfast

It doesn't matter which angle you choose, this thread IS a HELMET THREAD, is not relevant to A&S and should be closed.

905

It's a little early to be drawing conclusions; collectively, the helmeted and the unhelmeted alike are in it for the long haul. But the data so far are showing that a plurality don't even know there is a helmet thread, thus calling into question the efficacy of stickies. This, combined with the vote from the popcorn contingent, makes for a sizeable number of unsullied.



Next up are those who had their say then got out quick. The poll wasn't sophisticated enough to detirmine if those posters then went out for popcorn.



Close behind are the 12.50% who have the inner strength and resources to Just Say No if and when the day should come when they feel their work is done.



To the handful who march into the thread in the finest tradition of service, or possibly to atone for sins real or imagined, one can only give silent thanks.



Finally, if when you reach the end of the line and look back with some regret, take solace that this is the human condition, and we are, all of us, only human. Well, most of us.

Rollfast

Thou winnest!

905

You are gracious, sir. Now I must needs repair to the bike shop thread.

Rollfast

And on top of all that this story:

BBC - Autos - For cyclists, the best helmet may be no helmet at all

Airbags for your head.

905

That sounds interesting, but unfortunately I can't access it from the UK "as it is part of our international service and is not funded by the licence fee." That's right; I pay for a licence to watch TV (well, to fund the BBC), but since I didn't technically pay for that particular editorial content, I don't get to see it.

Anyways, your post appears to actually be about helmets and may encourage replies which put this thread in danger of violating its mission statement. Odd as it is to suddenly find myself vigilent about topicality, to avoid a lock that's one topic I need to steer clear of, unless given dispensation by a moderator.

The BBC, on the other hand, I'd be happy to briefly alight upon.

A lot of people here don't like what they consider to be extortion, as even if you never view their programming you have to pay to watch TV at all. Actually, that covers live TV; things like iPlayer – a kind of Tivo – are currently exempt.

I don't really mind coughing up, as much as one can not mind paying a bill (£144.50 this year); it's nice to have an oasis of noncommercial television* and I find it worth supporting. If only the programming was better value. I feel they try too hard to ape what they see as the competition, rather than provide a quality alternative. They have some great stuff! Just not enough of it. It's also far too pro-establishment for my taste, but that's probably to be expected from state television.


* except for lots of promos and commercials for themselves. Perfect Day and free running are classics. People hugging things is beautifully shot and wonderfully quirky. (That's BBC radio, which is exempt from the fee.)

The BBC also stands accused of unleashing teletubbies on the world to entertain small people.



Finally, here's Bicycle Repairman. Probably wouldn't belong in a Best of the Flying Circus compilation, but it's a way of riding a bike through this post.

Rollfast

Well, OKAY...but I really really think Cybermen are a better adversary there.

To summarize for you, it was a collar device, charged by USB and good for about 18 hours a charge. It's only good for bikes right now due to the sensing system not working well for other vehicles. When it senses a threat it inflates over your head like a funky macintosh hood. It's not perfect, some types of impacts won't work out well with it and if you were Any Winehouse or had a decent Mohawk it's just no good. At $400 I'm not sure it's worth it but then they claim that helmets aren't as good in some ways. My hair has nothing to do with it. It's the internal injuries to the torso that it does nothing for that kill a lot of cyclists that concern me.

PS You are quite the graphics cat!

905

Thank you for the summary.



It eats up waaaay too much time, but it's… addictive.



PS. I maintain a growing gallery here.

905

Further to the subject of addiction, the following quote has been lifted from the helmet thread to feed mine:

Rollfast

Never argue unless the lout flattened your tire...RIDE

italktocats

they dont wear helmets outside holland either, holland is just as much of a county as america

905

Did any of my fellow HAT aficionados notice the 11 day gap between comments #8185 and #8186? We had 11 days to contemplate the image of a bare head as a brake pad, which was a bit too disturbing for me, so I went with this:



An entire world was created in less time, if one takes certain good books at their word. Although I haven't been keeping a daily watch, if I had, it's just possible I could've stayed awake.

905

It's been a while! So long that another helmet thread came along. No problem, addiction is transferable. I notice ***The Helmet Thread 2*** (shouldn't that be 3?) lacks a poll, so if you're itching to vote, feel free to vote here. (And/or here; I like polls.)

I didn't start this thread to pick on anybody – or to discuss helmets, please remember – but it's got to be about time to give a certain helmet thread regular the following award for his unflagging devotion to the subject:



I'll spare him blushes. "Any intelligent person" will know who I'm talking about.

unterhausen

actually, it's either the 4th or fifth of the official helment threads. I started two, but there was already at least one other. Ok, so there may have been more, some historian should plumb the depths of AnS and see.

I forgot, it was originally called "helments cramp my style" there were parts 1, 2, and 3. My first was called "helments cramp my style n+1," but there were complaints about the name by the pro-helmet crowd so my second edition was just "the helmet thread"

905

I stand corrected, thanks.

***The Helmet Thread 2***
started 10-14-14
561 posts so far

The helmet thread
9-27-11 to 10-14-14
8743 posts

Helmets cramp my Style - part n+1
09-09-10 to 09-26-11
3244 posts

Helmets cramp my Style - part 3
02-01-10 to 09-08-10
1128 posts

Helmets cramp my style: Part 2
05-11-09 to 01-31-10
1635 posts
Note that this was also started by somebody who needed a fix.

Helmets cramp my style
03-30-05 to 05-11-09
4979 posts

For anyone counting, that's a lot

of posts. I haven't yet determined how many of those contain insults. The most basic insult you can make is about someone's intelligence. It only took one post, in the very first thread, to get there:

The OP to part 3 addressed the issue:
and the poster who started that thread made a good point followed by the understatement of the year early in the next one:
n+1 tried this suggestion:
That was repeated in the OP to The helmet thread [#5], though dropped in the current incarnation, possibly in a tacit acknowledgement that Hoemo sapiens (Latin: "wise man", misspelled to smuggle it through censoring) can't resist this particular ad hominem. In a few thousand generations this instinct may have been Darwined out of the gene pool, but best not to hold one's breath.

AlmostTrick

The hermit thread(s) were fun for a little while, but never this fun. Now I see what I missed by not stopping by and sittin' for a spell. Thanks 905.

Phlorida 

Great thread 905! Is it possible to impose on you to take on the chain lube threads in 2015?