Equinox

I was riding with my group on the roads outside a LARGE park in my area. These roads often have runners, hikers, cyclists, etc. The gentleman in the pick-up truck found it necessary to slow down and yell, "get the f off the road" at us. Personally, I never respond to anything drivers say or do. I have a policy of strictly ignoring them, which drives them crazy. Anyway, I was thinking that an appropriate response would be to tell the truck driver to get off the road. I mean if he can't share the road with a few cyclists,he should not be on the road, right? I'm sort of fantasizing about giving them back some of their own medicine.

Cyclosaurus

The appropriate response is to stay on the road. That will pretty much settle how much power a blowhard like him has.

illdoittomorrow

Smiling, waving, and blowing them a kiss works for me.

KD5NRH

If he had time to slow down and yell, you obviously weren't delaying him from anything important.

JoeyBike

That was kind of you. Not one of the descriptive words that would have just popped into my head.

I had a guy in a pickup tell my friend and I he was going to go home and get his "weapon that fires bullets" (the word *** is blocked). I fantasized telling him "You don't have your weapon? Thanks for telling us that!" Then dragging him out of the cab and giving him a nice massage.

genec

Best response: "You first."

Obviously such a driver doesn't understand the rights and responsibilities of road users... so therefore probably should not be driving.

caloso

[insert Madagascar penguins gif here]

johnny99

Best response is to take a photo of his vehicle and license plate and forward it to local law enforcement and bicycle safety groups.

FBinNY 

I just say "OK, tomorrow".

intransit1217

Ha! Well played, Caloso.

genec

Obscure reference... care to enlighten me?

kickstart

Growing up in NJ, most of my friends an neighbors were old school Jewish or Catholic families so I picked up on lots of expressive non obscene hand gestures. My favorite one is a dismissive wave with an up-yours twist at the end.

Chris516

I was thinking telling them 'That is conditional on you joining me'. But most of the time I just shake my head 'No'.

Rolled_Goats

@illdoittomorrow and @johnny99 : Your responses are the best. The best answer is a sign of disdain. The aggressor already knows you are his enemy and wants his aggression recognized.

I have said "God Bless you", that really only works if you are in the Bible Belt. I too have waited for someone to tell me "Bicycles shouldn't be on the street" so I could say "Neither should your mom"

CroMo Mike 

Never argue with an idiot in public. Half the time they're spoiling for a fight, and will come back to exact the pound of flesh they believe they're entitled to. This I have learned from 40 years riding in central Virginia.

Message to the thugs who inhabit central Virginia: congratulations, you have earned the reputation you now enjoy.

Chris516

I think there is a saying for this that goes something like this:

Never argue with an idiot. They will beat you with their stupidity.

caloso

Half a billion dollars at the box office worldwide and three sequels. So yeah, totally obscure.

Mr. Hairy Legs

Haven't had this happen to me since I was a kid, but my natural response would be "Get off my bike route".

genec

No, the penguins were not obscure... but the specific message you intended was obscure... as there is so much penguin content on the web. I tried searching for "Madagascar penguins gif" just to see if I could figure out what you meant... and found scores of gifs.

BTW, the message is a good one... when I can't think of any snappy response, SMILE and WAVE is what I usually resort to using.