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Old 01-01-17, 11:26 AM   #1
eatontkd
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Enduring life...

So, it's 2017. I'm 56 years old, soon to be 57. My business is not doing well. My wife, Kimberly, and I are not even best friends. She hurts so very badly and falls into these deep, dark depression filled days. Were it not for my daughter, my God given best friend, I don't know if I'd even care anymore.
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Old 01-30-17, 05:16 AM   #2
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Hello!
I accidentally saw your post. That's tough man, I would probably feel the same if I were you. But hang on there, it always gets better if you persevere. I really believe in that.

Wish you courage and patience !
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Old 03-20-17, 04:20 AM   #3
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Hey eatontkd,
Common buddy, life is made up of equal halfs of happy and sad things. I don't believe in just 55 yrs you have had all your happy stuff. Hang in there. Let go of your ego. Cycle till you are totally free of any negative thoughts- then lie on your back and just put yourself in your wife's place, her perspective. And remember not to expect same from her. Learn to accept and move on. Life is not so hard.
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Old 03-20-17, 12:50 PM   #4
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you're not alone. get professional counseling. no shame. got a post-it on my monitor that reads: "greener pastures"
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Old 04-29-17, 03:12 AM   #5
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it sounds like you and your wife could use a boost (read: professional help). I don't think it's unusual to second guess some of our life choices at this age. as soon as I reached 60, I understood why "they" use the age of 59 1/2 for things. don't try to do this alone; there's no need and you have plenty of kindred spirits in the same boat. businesses come and go. it could be the time in your life to access things and (obviously) initiate some changes. things didn't get the way they are overnight, and won't be changed that way either. but when you create options, you will not feel trapped.
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Old 06-14-17, 07:44 AM   #6
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Update: First, thanks to all of you who've expressed concerns, helpful ideas, and best wishes. I do appreciate them all! It's been 6 months since I first posted the original post. I saw a quote the other day, "Death is easy, Life is hard". Seems appropriate. My mistake was assuming my life at this age would be on "coast" mode to retirement, not still kicking and screaming. One thing's for sure; I am "involved" with life, which may be a blessing right? I've started working out for me; more TKD forms and riding bikes again. I do find my "inner-child" when I'm on a bike. Blessings my friends, "we're all just people trying to make our way..."
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Old 06-15-17, 10:06 AM   #7
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I needed to go to the bank: to make it more appealing, I took my "all-purpose" bike for the task. Rewarded myself with an iced coffee!
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Old 06-19-17, 11:04 AM   #8
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So much truth...just keep riding and fighting
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Old 06-20-17, 10:02 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by eatontkd View Post
I needed to go to the bank: to make it more appealing, I took my "all-purpose" bike for the task. Rewarded myself with an iced coffee!
What more can someone ask than a bike ride and an iced coffee!?
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Old 07-01-17, 07:05 AM   #10
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Rode my single speed to the river Friday morning. There's a stretch of level/flat tree-lined rider's bliss that goes on for miles. Something we here in ridge-ridden Pennsylvania use to reward ourselves for a week well pedaled!
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Old 08-06-17, 06:47 PM   #11
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Rode my single speed to the river Friday morning. There's a stretch of level/flat tree-lined rider's bliss that goes on for miles. Something we here in ridge-ridden Pennsylvania use to reward ourselves for a week well pedaled!
Nice! I had a very tough year in 2010. The tortured illness and death of a close friend, employment uncertainty and a bulging disc in my neck that brought unrelenting pain and discomfort and kept me off the bike for a year...and my daily bike commute was my coping mechanism!

Then out of curiosity I answered an ad for an improv comedy workshop. It's really improvisational theater, not stand-up comedy. I found it very therapeutic. It's basically team story telling, and you have no control over where the story or scenes go, but you get to contribute and play along. Besides the inherent joy and humor involved it taught me to better cope with the unexpected twists and turns of life. It's kind of like basketball practice. If you spend a couple of hours a week with people throwing basketballs at you you get used to it. So if you are walking down the street and out of nowhere someone hurls a basketball at your head, chances are you have built the reflexes to not only catch the ball and keep it from hitting your head, but your anxiety level is less since you have been in that situation many times before.

Also when faced with tough interpersonal situations, I tend to clam up emotionally. But by acting and roll playing in improv, I re-awakened and improved my connections with the people in my life.

Perhaps you may find Improv helpful. There may be a class or workshop in your area, and if you're lucky like me, there may even be a troupe for you to join if you find you enjoy it.

After a year I was back on the bike, and together with improv, when life threw me another difficult curve a couple of years ago, I was better able to deal with it. It's a bad situation, but I can handle it better.

I just wanted to share that with you, but I hope that by now your situation is better for you anyway.
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