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Bicycles vs wife

Old 05-31-16, 11:14 AM
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styggno1
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Bicycles vs wife

Bicycles vs wife

It starts with one bicycle. One bike. Your wife smiles mildly and condolingly and tells her friends about her husband’s midlife crisis. They all laugh a little and all is well.

Then you tell her that you want to buy another one. One to use around town and the other one can be used for exercise and racing. There are, as you well know, thousands of reasons to have one more. She accepts this second bike also even if she now starts to believe you are a little peculiar. She talks to her friends about it and it is still a little amusing. “Isn’t he cute…!?”

The third bicycle you want - as sure as amen in the church (you know it is so), generates a sour frown and a semi long discussion about what money ought to be spent on – ”when are you going to use it?” – “what does it cost?” – “it looks just as the other ones”, etc. The woman in your life now tell her friends that you are somewhat insane.

The fourth bike is the most difficult one but if you succeed you are home free. This one takes a careful and strategic approach. One good start is to prepare a romantic dinner. With a lot of wine. When the right mood has been established you put on your most puppy like expression, tell her that you know she is a little irritated over your spending money on your three bicycles, and with almost tears in your eyes you then tell her about the ”exceptional opportunity”. By pure chance you have stumbled on the possibility to buy your dream bike – and for a mere pittance of a sum! The one you have always coveted but it has always seemed unreachable – too expensive and extremely rare. You know it is much to ask but if you just get to buy this bike you will be forever content and satisfied. You will have the bicycles you need for all eternity.

Most women actually buy this. If you are together with a very strong-willed partner and/or teetotaler you might have to put forward the proposition that you will sell one of the other bikes. If this does not work you have to sell your soul. Do anything and everything. Tell her you will do the dishes for a year. Wacuum-clean the house forever. Grovel. I write it once more – do anything for this fourth bike. Being the most difficult to get acceptance for it is the absolute key to your continued bicycle collecting.

You now have four bikes (the one you promised to sell – no one wanted to buy it – of course). You have laid the foundation to a real bike collection. The next step is to dismantle one or two bicycles in their main external parts – alternatively buy some different extra parts – maybe a group. A “normal“ woman has little knowledge about bicycles and of what parts that belongs to which – and how many parts a bike actually consists of.

Now you can buy one or - several more bikes, and as long as you always have a certain amount of parts lying around you can always meander, dodge, questions about the number of complete bicycles. An option on the theme is to say that you have a friend’s bike in for some work or alteration – helping him to shorten the chain or re-wrapping the handlebar.

By this time you have in the range of eight to ten bicycles and you have reached the perfect stage in your ”bike collection vs. wife” scheme (or scam).

Now she has either left you (which is a bad thing) – OR – resigned and does not any longer view your bikes as individuals. They are no longer “the black one, the one in gold and that one with the leather saddle”, etc. They are now “all your bikes". Observe – not a number but an undefined quantity. Now depending on your conscience, available money and time – you can do whatever you want. Buy, sell, trade and live happily ever after.

Regards
JE

PS. I wrote the above (in Swedish) a very long ago and it is meant to be humorous and not taken too seriously. But – there are grains of truth in it. I was in a totally different kind of relationship then than today. Today I am a couple over 50 and I am married since ten years. My wife understands the width and depth of my insanity and I do not have to resort such behaviour. We also have the same level of resources and we keep them apart and that helps a lot when it comes to our different interests. There is no guilt involved when indulging in hobbies. Life is good.

Some might also say (I and) this piece has a sexist approach and that it is demeaning to women. I would like you to think again. Women are in many ways far more intelligent than men. When did you last think of or had a notion of how many shoes, handbags or jewellery your partner has? It is “all her shoes…”

PS 2. Here in Sweden this “hobby vs. girlfriend/wife” story has spread. People have taken it and made it their own. I have seen it applied to tractors (yes, there are guys collecting tractors), motorcycles, cars, computers, stereo equipment, etc. all things collectable and/or “guy-things”. I have never got credit for the original text and/but that is not important – it is a fun thing and sort of flattering. I – myself, has rewritten it for watches and mopeds as they are other things I have as a hobby.

State of collection:
1964 Champion Strada (Legnano Roma Olimpiade)
1964 Bianchi Specialissima
1965-70 Bianchi Specialissima "Team"
1971 Masi team issue Ferretti
1971-72 Champion Strada
1972 Colnago Super
1974 Bianchi Specialissima
1975 Bianchi Specialissima
1977 Pogliaghi Italcorse
1978 Masi Prestige (blue)
1978 Masi Prestige (red)
1979-80 De Rosa Professional
1980 Meral Super Randonneur
1983 Cinelli Super Corsa
1984 Conti (CIÖCC)
1985 De Rosa Professional
1985 Eddy Merckx Cyclocross
1985 Bianchi Centenario (frame only)
1989 Colnago Master Piu
1989/90 Bianchi Proto (Columbus MAX)
1989 Bridgestone MB-1
1992-93 Eddy Merckx MX Leader
1993 Eddy Merckx MX Leader "Rainbow"
1993 Eddy Merckx MX Leader Motorola
1995 Eddy Merckx MX Leader GAN
2010 Masi Prestige (Champagne)

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Old 05-31-16, 11:38 AM
  #2  
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I always tell people you can have as many bikes as you want, as long as they are all the same color. My wife only pays attention if I suddenly have a blue bike when "didn't you have a red bike?" Little does she know I have 5 red bikes.
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Old 05-31-16, 11:41 AM
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That is cheating... Not difficult enough.
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Old 05-31-16, 11:46 AM
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I guess your timing could have been better
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Old 05-31-16, 11:47 AM
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Without knowing it, I have followed your plan exactly. What a Coincidence.
Btw it works and will Continue working til someone let's their wife read this, then the party is over.
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Old 05-31-16, 11:50 AM
  #6  
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"I guess your timing could have been better"

On the contrary - or at least that was my intention. I thought it would/could be of help. Humour in the face of difficulties are often a relief. I meant no offence - but if it is out of line tell me and I will delete it.
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Old 05-31-16, 12:00 PM
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Lying and deception only get me into trouble, so I won't do that any more. My wife knows what I own.

I can't use the jewelry and shoes argument, because I have more clothes and shoes than she does, and she doesn't have much jewelry. (I don't have any jewelry except for my wedding band.) She's just not into that stuff very much.

We don't have any shared assets. We each contribute monthly into a joint account from which we pay for shared expenses. This doesn't even include all of our food. We pay for our own lunches and eating out when we're not together.

There were times when I was having money troubles, not earning enough, and I was spending foolishly on bicycles. She commented that it seemed unwise, and she was right. I've turned that around, and we have no problem with my bike ownership. We do believe spending a certain amount of discretionary money on hobbies and passions makes sense. She encouraged me to have fully equipped bike workshops in both homes, so I have two of most tools, even some specialty tools.

My wife's money sinks are real estate and renovations. She renovated the house we had in NJ and increased its value. She bought the house upstate where we spend weekends, and it's under heavy renovation now. These are the things she loves to create, and it seems like a good use of her time and energy. I can't currently afford to help with the expenses of renovations, but I'm happy to invest my sweat, so I help.

We get along quite well lately, and we trust that each of us has the other's interests at heart. Life is good.

We have some bikes we keep as guest bikes. We just loaned her MTB out to a neighbor, as my wife doesn't ride it lately.

About four years ago, when things were bad with my earning and between my wife and me, I bought a tandem. It was a great deal that I felt I couldn't pass up. She was unhappy about it then, rightly so, especially since she had no interest in riding a tandem. I got the tandem working properly only recently, and we have begun to ride it, and she is enjoying it. We might take a long (40 mile) ride with it on the weekend.
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Old 05-31-16, 12:12 PM
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I try to break the news about new purchases when other friends are around, over drinks or food. Everyone has a good laugh at my expense, we pour more wine, and that's the end of it!
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Old 05-31-16, 12:21 PM
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I just make sure my wife always has one bike more than I do.
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Old 05-31-16, 12:21 PM
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Originally Posted by lostarchitect View Post
I try to break the news about new purchases when other friends are around, over drinks or food. Everyone has a good laugh at my expense, we pour more wine, and that's the end of it!
Huh. My friends break the news about new purchases when my wife is around, over drinks and food. I look guilty, everyone has a good laugh at my expense....
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Old 05-31-16, 12:31 PM
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My SO was unhappy until I walked in after a bike swap with a couple hundred I didn't have before. A nice dinner and beers with the profits and she was a convert. She also likes that she no longer has to pay for her bike to get tuned up and I can swap tires off her cross bike for whatever riding she left doing.
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Old 05-31-16, 12:46 PM
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This is an interesting thread...my philosophy is quite simple...wife comes first, period. Bicycles are a nice hobby, distraction for me...but...no where NEAR as important as my lovely wife. If EVER a bicycle starts to come between us? The bicycle (or bicycles) are gone! SIMPLE! Why is this even a discussion? Now, I have to admit, my wife is very much ok with both my bike and Lego hobbies...which makes it easier...but...believe you me, in the back of my mind, this is so easy...and...if you let an inanimate object come between you and your SO (or any other family member, as far as that goes)...then the problem...well...I will let you figure that out...

This may be a bit harsh for some here, no offense intended...
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Old 05-31-16, 12:49 PM
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I keep my bikes in the basement or the garage so she doesn't have to look at them. I hang them up so they aren't in her way. I make sure a couple of those bikes are nominally hers, and some are the kids, and I keep those tuned and nice looking. I get to her list of honey-dos first, then work on my bikes. I brag about the inexpensive bikes, and don't mention the expensive ones. I point out how much cheaper bikes are than sports cars or mistresses. I build and give away a couple bikes a year, to kids and young people (often her friends' kids) who can't afford bikes. So far, this has worked pretty well. I have 6 or 7 bikes in the basement and 6 or 8 in the garage, and she tolerates it. She even encouraged me to buy the most recent frameset.
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Old 05-31-16, 01:01 PM
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my partner/girlfriend/motherofmychild has made it abundantly clear that she has no interest in my bikes. she tells me at least once a week that if she never heard about them ever again that she wouldn't care. now when I buy something to flip or keep it just goes straight into the garage where it stays until I sell it. this works out because she also does not visit the garage often, and as mentioned above, has no idea how many parts make up a bike. I currently have 3 complete bikes, 1 build underway, and her bike makes 5 . . . but there is an estate sale near me on Thursday with probably 30 vintage bikes in various states of disrepair, and I hope to make at least 1-3 of them mine . . .
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Old 05-31-16, 01:17 PM
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I think the post is fine and timely and humor appreciated. Believe me, its NOT like we are actually fooling our wives. its just a game that is fun to play. Of course when it comes down to it I would smash all my bikes with a sledgehammer (or I'd smash the red huffy while sneaking the rest out to give to the local kids) if it became a threat to our marriage and lives together. but don't tell her that!
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Old 05-31-16, 01:29 PM
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Originally Posted by daf1009 View Post
This is an interesting thread...my philosophy is quite simple...wife comes first, period. Bicycles are a nice hobby, distraction for me...but...no where NEAR as important as my lovely wife. If EVER a bicycle starts to come between us? The bicycle (or bicycles) are gone! SIMPLE! Why is this even a discussion? Now, I have to admit, my wife is very much ok with both my bike and Lego hobbies...which makes it easier...but...believe you me, in the back of my mind, this is so easy...and...if you let an inanimate object come between you and your SO (or any other family member, as far as that goes)...then the problem...well...I will let you figure that out...

This may be a bit harsh for some here, no offense intended...

I think you are misunderstanding this? People are mainly talking about mild disapproval, the kind of thing that happens in every relationship, not something that actually comes between people in a serious way.
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Old 05-31-16, 01:46 PM
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Yes, if you never did anything she didn't approve of she would get very bored and leave you. Now she can be happy scolding you on some minor issues and love you more for coming together on the major ones.
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Old 05-31-16, 01:47 PM
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All is good on my Homefront.

Wreching on my bikes is my job. She understand that and knows my bikes will never be the real expensive ones, just interesting. Everything( house,her car, renovations, etcet)are paid for and we live simple and within my fixed income.

I have never stopped doing regular house hold chores.

The size of my fleet is not increasing, just changing.
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Old 05-31-16, 02:02 PM
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Weird and sort of depressing subject matter lately in these C&V threads.

Get over it. Two words I use-
Amazon
Shoes
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Old 05-31-16, 02:02 PM
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My wife told me that all but one the bicycles and accessories, tools and books for them had to or she'd be gone. I told her to have a nice trip. Now is blissfull harmony with me and my bicycles. Wonder where she ended up at?

Cheers
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Old 05-31-16, 02:07 PM
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My wife is happy that I am happy. I am happy she is happy. I control myself, meet my responsibilities. She does the same. Been working for 29 years.....
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Old 05-31-16, 02:08 PM
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Originally Posted by fender1 View Post
My wife is happy that I am happy. I am happy she is happy. I control myself, meet my responsibilities. She does the same. Been working for 29 years.....
Yep.
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Old 05-31-16, 02:13 PM
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I just blame the child whose not in the room at the moment.
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Old 05-31-16, 02:13 PM
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My wife is fine with the buying / selling, wrenching bikes in the basement. I always use my Christmas / Birthday gift money as well as profits from sales and flipping. Never impacts
the family bottom line and working within those constraints makes it fun for me. I have always had hobbies and interests and its never been an issue.

What she doesn't like is me actually riding my bikes as she is worried about me being in an accident. I try to tell her that its much more likely I croak due to obesity, diabetes, heart disease, beer or hamburgers
than exercising, but she is unconvinced... and worries every minute I am on the road.
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Old 05-31-16, 02:32 PM
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Interesting and bewildering... I have never got such serious reactions on this text ever before. I first thought it might be a cultural difference or maybe things got lost in translation. But when used on watches (on a English speaking and very international forum) people thought it funny and the following comments light hearted.

Not here. When talking watches serious money is involved (bikes being a cheap hobby in comparison) but yet it seems like bikes are being a real problem in relationships? Is it the space? Is it time used bicycling? Watches take up no space and you use them in everyday life. The time spent on computors to find them is probably the same as with bikes though. But the money... a totally different thing.

I am puzzled.
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