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Biggest turd.

Old 09-09-17, 10:36 AM
  #1  
Flog00
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Biggest turd.

So bikes show up at my house unannounced from time to time, as I'm sure they do to most of us here.


What's the biggest turd you've had take up residence?


Here is mine (Ross Professional Grand Tour II) , I think @The Golden Boy is going to offer $125 for this rarity.


20170909_122634 by flog00, on Flickr
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Old 09-09-17, 10:45 AM
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Looks like a mighty fine mochine you got there. Worst was a World cycle or something like that. Horrid bike boom junk made in Belgium I think it said. Simplex rear mech was the only brand name component on it. Brakes were a scary knock off center pull.
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Old 09-09-17, 10:55 AM
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I thought this was going to be some C&V rant about bears or maybe elephants or something
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Old 09-09-17, 11:46 AM
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.
...I used to work at the bike co-op. The bar is set pretty high on this.
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Old 09-09-17, 11:48 AM
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Originally Posted by Flog00 View Post


Here is mine (Ross Professional Grand Tour II) ...

...that bike is a good example of how much money you can make on the professional bicycle touring circuit.
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Old 09-09-17, 12:05 PM
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A flashy, polished turd can fool you for a little bit...



...but in the end, its true turd nature will be revealed.
Man, but this thing was wretched.
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Old 09-09-17, 12:38 PM
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Originally Posted by 3alarmer View Post
.
...I used to work at the bike co-op. The bar is set pretty high on this.
I just made a trip to the Oberlin College bike co-op.
I didn't have the nerve to take the Ross.
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Old 09-09-17, 01:06 PM
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Not posting any pics in this thread!

I consider a 'pig with lipstick' to be well above a 'polished turd'.

The only turds to pass through my hands were donor bikes, and only a couple of those. I like narrow h'bars and once had to buy the whole soft, mushy thing - the seller refused to part it out to me, even though I offered a few $$$ more for the bars, headset and french BB than he was asking for the whole lightly rusted (with only a front wheel) bike.

Last edited by Wildwood; 09-09-17 at 01:15 PM.
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Old 09-09-17, 03:11 PM
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Probably this 1970's Montgomery Ward Open Road 10 speed. I still have it paid $5 for it, mainly to get the wing nuts on the wheels.

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Old 09-09-17, 03:18 PM
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This was the biggest anti-turd. Wife's coworker asked me to look at her bike because it was "shifting weird." Did not expect this.

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Old 09-09-17, 03:44 PM
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In the mid Seventies, I had a Taiwanese made "Tigre". Everything except for the brake levers was made of steel. Bike Boom wannabe......
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Old 09-09-17, 06:51 PM
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Without a doubt, the CCM Grand Prix was the worst vintage road bicycle to ever come my way...



And this Raleigh Record runs a fairly close second for the biggest turd award, but it is shiny...

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Old 09-09-17, 07:08 PM
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Originally Posted by J.Oxley View Post
A flashy, polished turd can fool you for a little bit...



...but in the end, its true turd nature will be revealed.
Man, but this thing was wretched.
I've stared at this for about five minutes and still can't figure out what's bad about it.
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Old 09-09-17, 07:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Flog00 View Post
I think @The Golden Boy is going to offer $125 for this rarity.

Hey, wait a minute- that doesn't have the magical, Ross defining user-proof fork ends!!!!
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Old 09-09-17, 07:42 PM
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I've had worse -- Sears Free Spirit w/ Astabula cranks and heavy Huffy or Murray frame.
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Old 09-09-17, 07:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Cute Boy Horse View Post
I've stared at this for about five minutes and still can't figure out what's bad about it.
Still around. I think they are just cheap Walmart type bikes.

For around $500 I could buy a brand new Cannondale Quick from my LBS, with good comps.
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Old 09-09-17, 08:23 PM
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Something that said Peugeot on the side.

Sorry, but I like the green on Takara. The bar con cable routing is odd though, as is the stem.
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Old 09-09-17, 08:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Cute Boy Horse View Post
I've stared at this for about five minutes and still can't figure out what's bad about it.
Here's the full, tragic saga of the Godzilla Takara from acquisition to gone. It's all fun and games till post #15, when reality rears its ugly head.
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Old 09-09-17, 09:39 PM
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No pictures, but it would have to be the men's version of Murray Missile's Monkey Ward bike.

Got it at the Goodwill for $9.95 and it was only in residence long enough to remove the Campy pedals and suede leather saddle! Then I gave it back again.

I sold the saddle but still have the pedals, currently on my 66 Super Sport. Saddle caught my eye first, then I saw the pedals. Why do people do stuff(lipstick on a pig) like this?

I'll add a pedal pic later. Don
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Old 09-10-17, 12:40 AM
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2 words: Free. Spirit.

Purple, ladies' model, 24" wheeler that weighed as much as I do. What junk.
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Old 09-10-17, 05:51 AM
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I had a women's free spirit that I took apart and used for a set of truing stands. It eventually was given away to become a ghost bike.
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Old 09-10-17, 07:08 AM
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The worst bike I ever had to deal with was an Atkins. It was a step-through frame from the 50s with the absolutely cheapest possible equipment, steel rims, and visibly rolled tubing.

I have no idea who sold Atkins bikes, and when I looked on line I found only one other such bike, but no info about it.
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Old 09-10-17, 07:58 AM
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Originally Posted by The Golden Boy View Post
Hey, wait a minute- that doesn't have the magical, Ross defining user-proof fork ends!!!!

These?


20170910_095649 by flog00, on Flickr


I can put them back on it before I ship to you lol
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Old 09-10-17, 08:04 AM
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I did turn this,
IMG_8458 by flog00, on Flickr
IMG_8460 by flog00, on Flickr


Into this,

IMG_8485 by flog00, on Flickr
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Old 09-10-17, 10:43 AM
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Like the Takara above, I had a Motobecane pass through that was firmly in the 'just nice enough to fool you into thinking it might be decent, but it is still really a turd and will be a joyless ride" category. Don't remember which model, it was from the late 70's to early 80's and had stem mounted shifters, turkey lever brakes, steel wheels, and a godawfully unresponsive and heavy frame.

For the past several years, the turds that have ended up in my herd ( a turd herd?) have been big-box kid's bikes - Next \ Magna \ Pacific \ Tony Hawk. These things are heavy garbage, and brakes and derailleurs will not stay properly adjusted no matter how carefully you tune them. They are a great source of tires, tubes, chains, bearngs, and pedals.
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