Johno59

Spent most of the day trying to get a 70mm Italian BB into a 68 mm British frame.
Destroyed a brand new 700c 622mm Conti 4 seasons clincher trying to get it on an old British sprint rim (630mm).
Cut a brand new 1 inch carbon fork steerer too short for a brand new Reynolds 853 track frame

Narhay

My pedal tap is slightly oversized for whatever reason. Add in a rare, expensive crank and you can figure out the rest.

bikecrate

I did this on my last chain and cassette change on my Jamis Quest. I went for a short ride and thought the new cassette was awful noisy. Fortunately I caught it before taking it out again.

Wildwood

rocks in head 

Backwards trick riding?

RobbieTunes 

I just thought it was the Dutch.

rickpaulos

2 that really stick out:

I built an upside down bike using a 1960s Schwinn single speed with a wide saddle. Popped a wheelie and flipped over backwards. No helmet (1970ish). Due the wide seat I could not get off the back of the seat to land on my feet. I stuck my elbows out to lessen the impact when I landed on my back. Smashed both elbows on the concrete and got whiplash. i guess that was better than crushing my skull.

A tree in the back yard had a broken branch that needed trimming. I leaned a bike against the trunk so I could climb the tree. I was hand sawing the broken branch when it fell on a 40,000 volt power line. Since I was half way up the tree I didn't get the full shock but enough to convince me to get out of there asap. Dropped the saw and jumped out of the tree. The branch caught fire and burned itself off the power lines before the power company could get there.

rumrunn6

re: What's the Dumbest Thing You've Ever Done

gave up my dream job for the girl of my dreams

squirtdad

@gomango thinking ahead for you....bummer on RA

Don't know it these will work but think indexed bar ends on these.... at handle bar reach
I saw these mounted on some bull horrns...didn't ride by tested the cockpit and seemed like there were not terrible

Velo orange shifter mounts https://velo-orange.com/collections/...unts-22-2-23-8

seedsbelize 

I just remembered, while reading a post. In my hurry to get out on a test ride, I mounted both crank arms in the same position.

-holiday76

thats just a new innovative way to avoid pedal strike.

RobbieTunes 

Where I'm from, that would be about the coolest thing ever.

madpogue 

Drove into my stepmother's garage with a bike ('82 Trek 613, nearly new at the time, stolen before it became C&V) on the roof rack. Bent up the rack, dented the roof of the car, mangled the siding above the garage door, no damage to the bike.

Johno59

I'm dying to know what the LBS guy said when you explained you were trying to remove a little ol stick stuck under the fender with your foot without stopping .

speedevil 

That gives an entirely new definition of cross-chaining!

abshipp 

That's why I do all of my own work on my bikes. I'm the only one who knows when I do something dumb!

dddd

When I was still living in an apartment ten years ago, and with a packed garage, I once spent the evening building a nice wheelset in my living room, so when finished I took the wheels out to my garage behind the apartment.

I got distracted after hanging the wheels in the garage, and did some tinkering before heading back up to my apartment. On the way out, by now half-asleep, I decided that too many old/crusty/useless wheelsets had accumulated in my crowded garage, so (after having turned out the light) I grabbed what I thought was just an old, bent and rusted wheelset, and took it out to the dumpster.

...yeah.

gearbasher

I kept the worst job of my life to stay with the girl of my dreams. She's was gone 3 years later and I ended up suffering for 33 years on that job.

Cycling related:
My first "real" bike. I bought a new Guerciotti frame set in 1983. I had a friend who always told me I over-torqued my bolts. So, building it up, I eased back (no torque wrench for me back then). On my test ride, I came out of the first turn and I was going straight, but the bars were turned 45 degrees. At least I didn't crash.

Left a Chorus derailleur in "biodegradable" degreaser over night. It came out with no logo.

Track stand on wet cobbles. Minimal damage.

Track stand with front wheel on a worn and wet manhole cover. Fractured my greater trochanter. 8 weeks no riding. But on the bright side, 8 weeks not having to work the above job

Just yesterday, I build a wheel and did the final tension. Threw it on my truing stand and realized the label was reading from the left. Yes, I tore it apart and got it right.

AdventureManCO 

Was pleasantly surprised to read the above and realize it was missing the "drove my car into the garage where my wrenches were. Bike still on top." line.

Chombi1 

You could have completed the effort and flipped the brakes on their mounts, pointed the saddle stem and bars backwards and sucked out all the air from the tires with a vacuum pump......and finished it all off by mounting a waterbottle filled with dry desert sand..

MrK.

A friend bought a brand new bike and a month or so later let someone borrow it. It was returned with the chain hopelessly wedged between the spokes and the cassette. I (correctly) suspected a bent derailleur hanger and offered to fix it for her. I grabbed a tool to fit the splines and went to work removing it. After spending an hour struggling with a very tight cassette and breaking a chain wrench, I realized I was dealing with a freewheel.

New bike with a freewheel? Never occurred to me.

Wildwood

Only for those who want to go left faster!!!

mstateglfr 

I had just refurbished an '80 Schwinn Voyageur into a 3x7 touring bike with SunTour components when i needed to remove a crank arm for some reason. I worked so hard to remove that crank arm that i started sweating!

Took all my strength but i finally loosened it!...oh no, i just stripped the threads because the bolt was still attached!!! NOOO!!!!!

Lascauxcaveman 

"I ain't even got a garage, you can call home and ask my wife!"

- Hat tip to Charlie Daniels, (back when he was cool, ca. 1973)

seedsbelize 

Not cool anymore?