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The Horror: Junk Build, High-End-Hatchet job, Frankenbike Challenge Extravaganza

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The Horror: Junk Build, High-End-Hatchet job, Frankenbike Challenge Extravaganza

Old 09-14-23, 09:32 AM
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Just remembered I have this "Frankenbikish" ride sitting in a dark corner of my garage, waiting for recipient to pickup.. Started with a bargain 1987 Specialized Sirrus frameset.(build details here: DIY Repaint (With a Brush)) It was a nice riding, errand bike. The paint job still looks fairly good, but the Brooks Pro saddle, Suntour Superbe "flag" triple and wheelset all migrated to other bikes, leaving an un-rideable project.

I downsized and have been renovating a small house in Salem, OR and I had given my flooring contractor a small Centurion Pro Tour for his 14 Y.O. son. When his crew told me dad was riding son's bike, I got the Sirrus rolling again.


as found 87 Sirrus frameset

"Frank"


From Taiwan: Sirrus Frameset, Alex rims rear wheel, 105 front brake, Sugino Maxy crank, Welgo pedals. From China: Mongoose Saddle by Jinhengtong, plus (probably) the bar tape given super low price. . Maybe from Japan?: Suntour Cyclone rear derailleur, Shimano 333 shift levers, Tange headset, Suntour Superbe brake levers. From Italy: Cinelli Stem and Criterium bar, Modolo hoods, Campagnolo Athena rear brake, Mirage front derailleur, Athena front hub. From Belgium Weinmann concave touring rim laced to front hub. Michilin Tires for a French connection. Don

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Old 09-15-23, 10:19 PM
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Good news! I found another big roll of gray duct tape (for the chainstay/dropout, silly!)
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Old 09-15-23, 11:30 PM
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I'm hoping tomorrow will be painting day for the Smella, but in the meantime I have a bit of an amuse bouche -- not really worthy of this thread, but not entirely off topic either. I recently bought a Raleigh Pro that the previous owner had decked out in a rather hipsteresque configuration. I decided to give it a ride with just some minor tweaks, just to see what a build of this sort is all about. I have to admit today's for the purpose -- a flat six mile ride from the Park & Ride to the office and back -- it was pretty well suited. I'm still not going to leave it this way, but I may pick another frame to inflict this on just to have one around. I'll need some beard oil, and probably some artisanal pine tar soap to prepare myself, but the bike wasn't bad.

I feel like this build occupies some unholy ground between the Huffente and the theme of this thread. Every part on this bike, I mean every single part, is pretty nice. And yet, somehow, the assembled bike manages to be a bit of a clunker.

Let me tell you what it reminds me of. I'm from a middle class family in the Applachians. I had an uncle who was a construction worker, but he received a boat load of money in a worker's comp settlement, bought a big house in one of the swankier suburbs of Baltimore, lots of land, horses for his daughters, you get the picture. But to the day he died, he was a redneck through and through. The kind of guy for whom the phrase "you can dress him up, but you can't take him out" was invented. This bike makes me think of him -- all dressed up in the finest Italian livery, and it still looks like someone is about to grab it for a quick ride to the local watering hole.





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Old 09-16-23, 08:59 AM
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I must still be a redneck because that looks like a pretty nice ride.
If it were mine, I might even stop and grab a beer on the way home from the library on it. 😉
15 years of living in pancake flat Florida has made me appreciate a
d enjoy single speeds and fixed gear bikes.
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Old 09-16-23, 10:07 AM
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Originally Posted by Andy_K
I'm hoping tomorrow will be painting day for the Smella, but in the meantime I have a bit of an amuse bouche -- not really worthy of this thread, but not entirely off topic either. I recently bought a Raleigh Pro that the previous owner had decked out in a rather hipsteresque configuration. I decided to give it a ride with just some minor tweaks, just to see what a build of this sort is all about. I have to admit today's for the purpose -- a flat six mile ride from the Park & Ride to the office and back -- it was pretty well suited. I'm still not going to leave it this way, but I may pick another frame to inflict this on just to have one around. I'll need some beard oil, and probably some artisanal pine tar soap to prepare myself, but the bike wasn't bad.

I feel like this build occupies some unholy ground between the Huffente and the theme of this thread. Every part on this bike, I mean every single part, is pretty nice. And yet, somehow, the assembled bike manages to be a bit of a clunker.

Let me tell you what it reminds me of. I'm from a middle class family in the Applachians. I had an uncle who was a construction worker, but he received a boat load of money in a worker's comp settlement, bought a big house in one of the swankier suburbs of Baltimore, lots of land, horses for his daughters, you get the picture. But to the day he died, he was a redneck through and through. The kind of guy for whom the phrase "you can dress him up, but you can't take him out" was invented. This bike makes me think of him -- all dressed up in the finest Italian livery, and it still looks like someone is about to grab it for a quick ride to the local watering hole.






It has potential (for crappier parts).

I'll tell you what, any time that the 'Huffente' is mentioned, you know that questionable things are afoot.

So glad you posted this. If we can get a high end Italian, American, Swiss, and now what what considered a 'holy grail' for many people here, an English thoroughbred, to be the subject of our twisted dissection and cobbling together of a monster that only occupies the worst nightmares of classic road bike aficionados everywhere...we may be on the right path.

I have a crapola green Azuki fork for that bad boy if you really want to kit it out!
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Old 09-16-23, 04:44 PM
  #181  
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Got a little more horrible but still good riding work done on the Jeunet zombie bike. Added a cheesy kick stand had to chop it a bit with a grind off so so actual chopping done, added a green milk crate basket and some junky working but crappy safety lights and just not right reflectors. Just don't have really big metal dork disk to finish the look.



May need to stop now bordering Japanese Euro garbage bike range here but no I think I can do more.


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Old 09-16-23, 05:12 PM
  #182  
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I like the basket attachment and checks off one of the colors. The lights and reflectors ass a nice touch as well. It is starting to get that horrific look. Smiles, MH
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Old 09-16-23, 06:10 PM
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As intended, today was paint day for the Smella. I spent about two months from start to finish recently painting my Mercian. The Smella? I think if you count the time I spent masking off the decals I wanted to preserve I might have an hour in this. Even longer if you count the time it will take the paint to dry.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. The seat post arrived in the mail yesterday, Adjusted to my usual riding height, it wasn't quite as comically disproportionate as I had hope, so I decided I better add a padded cover to the saddle to make it look worse. I guess I had started masking the decals by this point.



Here's the fork in half-mummy configuration to save the chrome socks and crown.



And the frame with the headset knocked off and masking finished. The old seatpost wasn't snug enough to hold the frame while painting it, so I used a stem with handlebar shim.



Here it is hanging from my organic DIY painting rig.



After paint, you may think I've just ruined the bike for this challenge. From 50 feet, it looks quite a bit like my nicer Stella. I even nailed the color.



All I can say is that it doesn't really hold up to scutiny.







And, hey, orange point claimed!
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Old 09-16-23, 07:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Andy_K
As intended, today was paint day for the Smella. I spent about two months from start to finish recently painting my Mercian. The Smella? I think if you count the time I spent masking off the decals I wanted to preserve I might have an hour in this. Even longer if you count the time it will take the paint to dry.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. The seat post arrived in the mail yesterday, Adjusted to my usual riding height, it wasn't quite as comically disproportionate as I had hope, so I decided I better add a padded cover to the saddle to make it look worse. I guess I had started masking the decals by this point.



Here's the fork in half-mummy configuration to save the chrome socks and crown.



And the frame with the headset knocked off and masking finished. The old seatpost wasn't snug enough to hold the frame while painting it, so I used a stem with handlebar shim.



Here it is hanging from my organic DIY painting rig.



After paint, you may think I've just ruined the bike for this challenge. From 50 feet, it looks quite a bit like my nicer Stella. I even nailed the color.



All I can say is that it doesn't really hold up to scutiny.







And, hey, orange point claimed!
That would be three points sir.
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Old 09-16-23, 07:27 PM
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Originally Posted by jdawginsc
That would be three points sir.
Oh yeah! Sweet!

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Old 09-17-23, 12:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Andy_K
As intended, today was paint day for the Smella. I spent about two months from start to finish recently painting my Mercian. The Smella? I think if you count the time I spent masking off the decals I wanted to preserve I might have an hour in this. Even longer if you count the time it will take the paint to dry.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. The seat post arrived in the mail yesterday, Adjusted to my usual riding height, it wasn't quite as comically disproportionate as I had hope, so I decided I better add a padded cover to the saddle to make it look worse. I guess I had started masking the decals by this point.



Here's the fork in half-mummy configuration to save the chrome socks and crown.



And the frame with the headset knocked off and masking finished. The old seatpost wasn't snug enough to hold the frame while painting it, so I used a stem with handlebar shim.



Here it is hanging from my organic DIY painting rig.



After paint, you may think I've just ruined the bike for this challenge. From 50 feet, it looks quite a bit like my nicer Stella. I even nailed the color.



All I can say is that it doesn't really hold up to scutiny.







And, hey, orange point claimed!

The commitment is to be respected.


And no, I'm not dropping a single photo for the quote.
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Old 09-17-23, 04:41 PM
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Today was a good day in the shop. No golf work so some work on the Horror build of the Ochsner. I found a few items that appears to be a dog's breakfast of parts that I can hang on this premium frame. A few pictures with explanations:

I found a front wheel that is a tubular rim from France that is laced to a Japanese hub, with a very leaky Continental tire. Added a skewer from Shimano and hung it on the frame.

So the rear wheel has stayed intact for a week and should be rideable. I got the special bolt and fixing part to use the Duopar rear derailleur with the Helicomatic free wheel. The brake is a through bolt type that will require making a special shim to make it work.

The Japanese bar and stem set up from the Raleigh were added but the Campy brake levers will have to go. No really nice parts on this ride. Front brake is a black anodized model of something like a Tektro recessed bolt model.
The bottom bracket will be a bit of a problem to solve. Italian spacing and the need for room for a triple front Crank set up. I plan on using the Sugino VP triple that will require a bit of changing parts to find the right set up and q-line. I have Campy Italian cups that can be married to something that will allow the use of the Japanese triple. More to come when time allows. Smiles, Dave#3
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Old 09-17-23, 05:19 PM
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You will need a 124 Japanese spindle and a nice set of raced bearings to get things to work which you can get from most lesser 90's to present MTB's.
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Old 09-18-23, 04:37 PM
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I'm thinking I will need a 5-N spindle for the Ochsner. The Distance for the Italian bottom bracket spacing would have a problem created with the cups to fit correctly. but I did get a few items together today for the build. A few pictures:

No fancy panto parts for this build! Even though it is nice, It needs to be junkified for this build.

A fine Italian sourced part but not low level enough for the Franken-build bike.

The saddle with no names and very generic look. It even comes with some Indiana sourced rust on the rails.

This nice seat post came from our friend Skip in Illinois, and because it is too small in diameter, It shall become the default seat post. I have the obligatory brass shim material that I can make fit so the post works. It checks one of the boxes for Spain as a source country.

And it came with a bonus pencil that I can sharpen and use to mark the correct height for me on the post.
Now to find a bit of time to set a few things up. Most of the idea and concepts have been thought about and I think I might be able to really pull the build off as Jdawg imagined it. Smiles, Dave # 3
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Old 09-19-23, 07:53 PM
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Dave and Dave, and the rest of this rowdy gang,
I think I managed to get points for all four colors if it is not ruled a very strong bending of the rules. Besides; When was the last time we saw streamers and hub shiners on a C&V bike? Now to find quad color hub shiners...

It took a bit of work but I managed to get the four color streamers into some bar plugs.
This has got to be a horror in the making. Or perhaps it may start a new trend in C&V coolness. Very retro... Smiles, Dave # 3

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Old 09-19-23, 10:11 PM
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Okay! In Opposite Land (the Le Grande HQ), the Crapamount got a serious upgrade (downgrade) tonight! We are making major progress (regression, for literally every other person on the face of the earth).

I'm having so much fun with this, I'm starting to think I'm giving the Huffente a run for it's money. It really begs the philosophical question: Which is the worst travesty - to take something worthless and give it a home in a palace, or take a king to live in the slums?

Since the Crapamount is slummin' at the Le Grande HQ...it's time to get that glorious unicrown'd splendor on the frame to the horror of all.

But I first needed a headset. So I started rummaging through my 'random headset parts' bag.








Much to my excitement, nothing matched. Black cups, some rusty old chromed top retainer, and a huge gap with the bottom crown race. I knew I had a winner! Sadly, the cups 'sort of' match in color (black), but it looks so bad next to the chrome lugs I'm going with it. Plus, the bottom one has quite a bit of rust, so I'm going to call it 'brown'. So we still good, fam.


In addition, while I was at it, I figured the Crapamount needed a wheelset. Well, Paramounts are study, yes? So a nice 27" steel-rimmed, steel-hubbed, solid nutted axle set should do nicely! Unbelievably, this did not come off of a Huffy.






Well, anyway - time to press the headset cups on. No, I didn't clean them first!





Unfortunately, it did actually need grease, and I expended great amounts of effort wiping the inside of the cups and rolling the bearing cages around a rag for a few seconds. A few shots of grease, and whala!






The bike was so excited by it's new unicrown fork, it started twirling around like a freakin' ballerina -






Happiness.

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Old 09-19-23, 10:28 PM
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Since we already had a huge 17lb wheel in the back, we needed the same for the front. NO PROBLEMO.



Also, just look at that tire clearance. Just LOOK.


Only RACE BIKES have tiny clearances like that. So it was nice to have confirmation we are on the right track.


Also. I had some parts in the garage that started gravitating toward the bike, in a really creepy way. It's like they just wanted to attach themselves to the bike, like it was some 'normal' kind of thing. It was freakish.





THAT ugly thing? FORGET IT!













THAT piece of crap? NEVER, EVER!




This is a 'claws only' build

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Old 09-19-23, 10:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Mad Honk
Dave and Dave, and the rest of this rowdy gang,
I think I managed to get points for all four colors if it is not ruled a very strong bending of the rules. Besides; When was the last time we saw streamers and hub shiners on a C&V bike? Now to find quad color hub shiners...

It took a bit of work but I managed to get the four color streamers into some bar plugs.
This has got to be a horror in the making. Or perhaps it may start a new trend in C&V coolness. Very retro... Smiles, Dave # 3

If I could, I would award you 100 points for each color, and an additional 1000 for the creativity. I can't wait to see the handlebar-streamer'd Oschner!
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Old 09-20-23, 04:45 AM
  #194  
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Originally Posted by Mad Honk
Dave and Dave, and the rest of this rowdy gang,
I think I managed to get points for all four colors if it is not ruled a very strong bending of the rules. Besides; When was the last time we saw streamers and hub shiners on a C&V bike? Now to find quad color hub shiners...

It took a bit of work but I managed to get the four color streamers into some bar plugs.
This has got to be a horror in the making. Or perhaps it may start a new trend in C&V coolness. Very retro... Smiles, Dave # 3
I love it! All points earned. Bonus point if you see someone (a retro snob) while riding and they turn their nose up at it!
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Old 09-20-23, 04:51 AM
  #195  
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Super nice pie plate wheel, AMCo!
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Old 09-20-23, 06:54 AM
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Originally Posted by jdawginsc
Super nice pie plate wheel, AMCo!
Sorta gives it that classy, retro BSO vibe, dontcha think?
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Old 09-20-23, 06:55 AM
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Originally Posted by AdventureManCO
Sorta gives it that classy, retro BSO vibe, dontcha think?
Exactly...might even be too nice...
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Old 09-20-23, 07:09 AM
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Originally Posted by jdawginsc
Exactly...might even be too nice...

Oh shoot...maybe I overshot the landing!
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Old 09-20-23, 07:13 AM
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Originally Posted by AdventureManCO
Oh shoot...maybe I overshot the landing!
Nah, itís perfect!
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Old 09-20-23, 07:16 AM
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The pie-plate needs more rust and possibly some rattle-can overspray. Possibly in black and orange?
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