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Mystery Mush: Discs, Drums, Dropouts, and Eccentric BB's

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Mystery Mush: Discs, Drums, Dropouts, and Eccentric BB's

Old 06-19-24, 10:20 PM
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Mystery Mush: Discs, Drums, Dropouts, and Eccentric BB's

Once again, the universe threw me some kind of 1990's ATB/MTB at me today, and while it - once again - barely fits the sympathetic rules of C&V, it does adhere to the important holy trinity of purchase decisions:

It's old.
It's rusty.
It's weird.

Oh, and let's not forget cheap. Perhaps the Holy Trinity is just a quadfecta.



The rust situation on this one is beyond salvage, but the LBS basically threw it at me. It was $10 bucks, and I know how to pre-ruin my weekend for ten bucks. Given what a pile of bovine dung it is, they really should have paid me $10 to haul it away, but I realized it deserved to be shared for the weird factor alone.

To be honest, I'd be embarrassed to stain the C&V forum with this trash pile junker if it wasn't for its dead unique level of total bizarreness - something that I know this forum tends to appreciate with great zeal (*cough* @AdventureManCO *cough*).

Let's take stock of what may or may not be apparent in this picture:

1990's ATB: Not unusual.
Steel frame: Not unusual.
Kickstand mount: Not unusual on cheap stuff.
Disc brake mounts: Not unusual.
Drum brake mounts: Not unusual in any country where city bicycles are appreciated (@JaccoW, you may take a bow on behalf of the NL).
Steep geometry: Unusual, unless you're a mid-1970's Peugeot.
Both brake mounts: Unusual.
Eccentric bottom bracket: Unusual.
Dropouts with bottle openers: Unusual.

Now let's add that up together: It's a steel 1990's ATB frame with an eccentric bottom bracket, kickstand mount, steep geometry, and weird dropouts with integrated bottle openers that will accept disc or drum brakes. Oh, and the cables are all run under the downtube, in the last place you'd expect to run them on a 1990's ATB.





Now, I can usually rationalize some pretty strange bike design choices - such as the IGH-but-vertical-drop-with-tensioner design of the Schwinn 4 One One I picked up not long ago (I'm keeping it!), but I just can't understand this one no matter how hard I think about it.

Yes, I can see the whole idea of the dropouts - if you're going to stamp a dropout, make it do double duty - but the eccentric BB? Why? Did someone think they were going to stick a Rohloff in this? With a 50-cent kickstand plate for good measure?

I've been trying to understand it for the last three hours, and can't for the life of me figure it out - other than the possibility that the geometry is off from a potentially missing suspension fork - but that's a guess.

Also, I sincerely hope those are bottle openers on the dropouts, because I cannot for one second fathom any other reason to terminate a dropout like that. I'm torn wondering whether this is a truly novel and thoughtful design, incorporating rack and fender support while providing a versatility of brake options, or whether it's the most underbaked confluence of unrelated hogwash ever to fart around on the back of a steel frame.



The serial number is of no help, unless you're considering upgrading your graphics card.

My other favorite (not) thing about this bike is that the pink paint seems to be original - there's nothing under it - but areas like the BB here are pure off-white, even though both the white and pink are cheap overspray jobs.



I thought I'd share before I chuck this timewasting pile of crap into oblivion. Sorry to say, the rust is near terminal, and while this could be saved, there's a limit to what I'll deal with, not to mention what I'd even try to build this screaming cheapheap of an identity crisis into.

-Kurt
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Old 06-19-24, 10:54 PM
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That.
Is.
Weird.

I, too, wonder what’s going on here. Eccentric BB and a derailleur mount? What the turducken?
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Old 06-20-24, 05:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Jeff Wills
That.
Is.
Weird.

I, too, wonder what’s going on here. Eccentric BB and a derailleur mount? What the turducken?
Exactly. If the end goal were an IGH with vertical drops to keep the disc aligned with the caliper, then the eccentric BB makes sense...except the derailleur mount means a tensioner can be employed to do the same thing. I suspect the LX drivetrain may be original, minus the crank, though there's no way of knowing for sure.

I wish I could nail down those dropouts. Maybe both figuratively and literally

-Kurt
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Old 06-20-24, 07:51 AM
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Some sort of "variation on a theme" Thorn style adventure bike?
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Old 06-20-24, 10:02 AM
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this wins the "weirdest of the week month...year" award!

And the trophy for that is...
this very bicycle (uh, whatever it is)!!!

congratulations, your people must be very proud

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Old 06-20-24, 05:32 PM
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Very weird. I also like your term "pre-ruin." I look forward to reading the saga.
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Old 06-20-24, 06:20 PM
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Looking at all the encrusted corrosion, I wonder whether it might have been SpongeBob SquarePants daily undersea rider. It does look as if it was created for a cartoon.
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Old 06-20-24, 06:34 PM
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Never seen such freak dropouts before.
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Old 06-20-24, 07:33 PM
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Other than dual bottle openers, the only reason I could see the rear dropouts being shaped like that would be to act as hooks for straps, to stabilize bags or something.

Truly an oddity. We may NEVER KNOW.
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Old 06-20-24, 07:34 PM
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I finished tearing it apart tonight.







Originally Posted by fender1
Some sort of "variation on a theme" Thorn style adventure bike?
The geometry definitely looks it. I keep thinking it's a suspension fork MTB with the wrong fork (I'm convinced the fork isn't original), but then I remember the open cables running on the bottom of the frame, exactly where one wouldn't run it for an ATB.

Originally Posted by unworthy1
congratulations, your people must be very proud
Apparently not, as our favorite insult comic and his Huffy haven't shown up yet to bestow the Crown O'Crap (a cousin of Box O'). Probably lost somewhere in Colorado

Originally Posted by noglider
Very weird. I also like your term "pre-ruin." I look forward to reading the saga.
Funny thing, I got it stripped apart before the weekend so if the rain doesn't ruin the weekend, I might find time to enjoy that doesn't involve this thing.

There shall be no saga. The next post after this will report that the frame has been dumped in the local scrap truck.

Originally Posted by pastorbobnlnh
Looking at all the encrusted corrosion, I wonder whether it might have been SpongeBob SquarePants daily undersea rider. It does look as if it was created for a cartoon.
You have no idea how accurate that is. And it still feels solid to the thumb test, believe it or not.





To my surprise, watery blackish-grey goo came out of the seattube when I pulled the shim - much darker than normal - and I had to ask myself whether someone had actually framesavered this thing. BB was full of silver grease too.

The shim measurements are another chalk up on the bizzarro tree for this thing.



Originally Posted by Reynolds
Never seen such freak dropouts before.
There's some merit in them, especially since they solve the issue of rack mounting around discs without a special rack, but just like the frame, it's just a bit too overthought.

-Kurt
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Old 06-20-24, 07:36 PM
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Originally Posted by billytwosheds
Other than dual bottle openers, the only reason I could see the rear dropouts being shaped like that would be to act as hooks for straps, to stabilize bags or something.

Truly an oddity. We may NEVER KNOW.
Given that the rack stay mount positions have changed to accommodate the rear caliper, that's actually a really good theory. Works with the "adventure/trekking" theme of the geometry too.

-Kurt
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Old 06-20-24, 11:44 PM
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Originally Posted by cudak888
Once again, the universe threw me some kind of 1990's ATB/MTB at me today...

To be honest, I'd be embarrassed to stain the C&V forum with this trash pile junker...
I mean...


You bought it! Plus, you give this forum way too much credit. This forum would be so boring if it was all just the same 'Hey look at my Masi' threads over and over...posts like this keep this place honest. Loud and proud man.

To be honest, I love it. It is quirky, weird, and not boring at all. Plus, what is lurking under all that bubbling? Can it be saved? Will it be saved? Its like one of those nail biting 'whose child is it?' Mauri episodes. Drama!



Originally Posted by cudak888
and while this should be saved
FIFY Just have your torch man throw a little LFB in those pits and smooth it out and whala.
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Old 06-20-24, 11:54 PM
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Originally Posted by unworthy1

congratulations, your people must be very proud








We are.
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Old 06-21-24, 07:09 AM
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Originally Posted by AdventureManCO
I mean... You bought it!
I didn't have to admit it

Originally Posted by AdventureManCO
Plus, you give this forum way too much credit. This forum would be so boring if it was all just the same 'Hey look at my Masi' threads over and over...posts like this keep this place honest. Loud and proud man.
I have a good mind to paint this orange and put "QUASI" on the downtube, but what to build it up with? It seems like it was nice at one time, so Campagnolo wouldn't be weird enough.

I also know that I have a '71 Mustang with a bent framerail crying for attention.

Originally Posted by AdventureManCO
To be honest, I love it. It is quirky, weird, and not boring at all. Plus, what is lurking under all that bubbling? Can it be saved? Will it be saved? Its like one of those nail biting 'whose child is it?' Mauri episodes. Drama!

FIFY Just have your torch man throw a little LFB in those pits and smooth it out and whala.
I'm going to blackmail you: It is yours for the cost of shipping. If you don't take me up on it, it gets scrapped Saturday morning. With a photo in the truck, smashed and dented under a washing machine for good measure.

If you don't take me up on it, we'll know you're afraid...

-Kurt
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Old 06-21-24, 09:41 AM
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Originally Posted by cudak888
we'll know you're afraid...

-Kurt
Afraid?? Of cheap, junky, rusty garbage!?



sigh. Send me a quote for the frame to 80015 No promises though!


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Old 06-21-24, 11:27 AM
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Originally Posted by AdventureManCO
sigh. Send me a quote for the frame to 80015 No promises though!
Will do, and will try to do so as cheaply as possible.

Also, send check to scrap guy in the amount of $0.02 for profits lost

-Kurt
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Old 06-21-24, 12:16 PM
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Originally Posted by cudak888
I finished tearing it apart tonight

To my surprise, watery blackish-grey goo came out of the seattube when I pulled the shim - much darker than normal - and I had to ask myself whether someone had actually framesavered this thing. BB was full of silver grease too.

The shim measurements are another chalk up on the bizzarro tree for this thing.

-Kurt
based on these mysterious details, and the ? Stainless Steel ? grub screws for the eccentric BB, plus pastorbob's speculation about underwater riding, I'm guessing this on-off was intended for exploring (and maybe poaching) tidal pools, or was used to more quickly cross the last yards of surf from a tender boat, so your slacks and topsiders don't get as wet from wading to the beach...I'm just grasping here, but this steel frame certainly has seen some saltwater and the owner was expecting that!
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Old 06-21-24, 02:27 PM
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Originally Posted by unworthy1
I'm just grasping here, but this steel frame certainly has seen some saltwater and the owner was expecting that!
This has definitely been in the back of my mind for a while, though I've seen bikes that have spent too much time in salt water, and they're usually more uniformly rusted out. It's clear someone painted the white as stop-gap rust preventative, but even the rot below it doesn't add up; I'd expect clumping around the braze-ons and there isn't any.

-Kurt
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Old 06-21-24, 02:43 PM
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Originally Posted by AdventureManCO
sigh. Send me a quote for the frame to 80015 No promises though!
I'm posting the results here as I think your public deserves to see what kind of financial ruin you take on for our amusement:

The SMALLEST box that this frame will go into would be 37 x 6 x 28, 11 pounds, and it'd run $49 for UPS Ground. Bump that to a 7" or 8" wide box, and it goes straight to $79 no matter what I do with it - even a wallowy big box. Doesn't matter whether it is ShipStation or BikeFlights, UPS works out the same between both.

That's frame only, though I'll throw in the eccentric and the grub screws because anything else would be mean

If you're willing to make a Marx Brothers comedy out of this thing, I will find that freaking 6" box. Or I'll trade you for the Paramount

-Kurt
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Old 06-21-24, 03:03 PM
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Originally Posted by cudak888
I'm posting the results here as I think your public deserves to see what kind of financial ruin you take on for our amusement:

The SMALLEST box that this frame will go into would be 37 x 6 x 28, 11 pounds, and it'd run $49 for UPS Ground. Bump that to a 7" or 8" wide box, and it goes straight to $79 no matter what I do with it - even a wallowy big box. Doesn't matter whether it is ShipStation or BikeFlights, UPS works out the same between both.

That's frame only, though I'll throw in the eccentric and the grub screws because anything else would be mean

If you're willing to make a Marx Brothers comedy out of this thing, I will find that freaking 6" box. Or I'll trade you for the Paramount

-Kurt

How much if the frame was...erhm, 'prepped' for future S&S couplers? Box would be half size!
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Old 06-21-24, 06:49 PM
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Originally Posted by AdventureManCO
How much if the frame was...erhm, 'prepped' for future S&S couplers? Box would be half size!
Hey, @Andy_K, I think you're corrupting our Man of Adventure with the Voice of Reason.

There's a Bilenky-converted Trek 520 Touring at the LBS. I'm 99.9% sure it is this exact bike on the S&S site. It's been sitting at the shop for seven years. 85-year-old owner has gone missing, no word since 2020, no obits, no nothing.



And no, I'm not breaking out the Sawzall for your amusement. Go big or go home!

-Kurt
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Old 06-21-24, 08:10 PM
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Originally Posted by cudak888
And no, I'm not breaking out the Sawzall for your amusement. Go big or go home!

-Kurt
It was worth a try. I'd be okay if you (slightly violently) disassembled the bike and I put it back together. Besides, it looks a little big for me, so it could have been a win-win of cheap shipping and I get to make it smaller!

In any case, I'm down. I don't usually break my habit of wasting money ONLY on Huffy's, yet for the sake of keeping trashy content of this forum at an all time high until people get so fed up with it that they give us (me) our (my) own BSO/Huffy sub-forum and I'm the only one in there, desperate times call for desperate measures. You're welcome.


I mean, how about dropout spacers and saran wrap?


Sigh...my username is starting to check out in the most unintended of ways!
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Old 06-21-24, 08:25 PM
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People. I bow to no one in my love of making silk purses out of sow's ears. But this . . . . Is beyond degraded. Let's come down out of the clouds here and accept that it is what it is, a piece of scrap metal.
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Old 06-22-24, 08:54 AM
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maybe, it was some kind of circus stunt bike and they let the elephants wash it, this could explain the salted-peanut-water corrosion.
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Old 06-22-24, 12:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Aubergine
People. I bow to no one in my love or making silk purses out of sow's ears. But this . . . .

It's a test of faith.
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