Bike Forums - Rainy afternoon, me, and the Devil.

The rain was coming down and crimped my other plans, so I found myself standing idly in the garage, staring up at the rafters, and contemplating the meaning of life, when wouldn't you know, there I rediscovered a c.1972 Motobecane Grand Jubile just hanging there, one I had stashed up there, many many refurbs ago.

I had left it there as a possible winter project, but since I was bored, I climbed up on got it down. I noted that it was even worse than I remembered - a mess. The paint had lots of chips and scrapes, it was literally covered with caked-on grease and dirt, and the Stronglight crank made ominous grinding noise. Obviously someone’s beater bike in '531 with gold-lined Nervex lugs, Pivo drops, Suntour bar end shifters, and Huret Jubile derailleurs.

A mess, yes, but good enough for a few bucks as a flip.

I noted that the grinding noises were cause by metal shavings inside the bb. Ugh!
It seems the shavings were from a 5/32” hole drilled clean through the sweat tube, to mount the front DR, after it's clamp failed. (Ugh!)

Miraculously though, the cups and races were still OK.

Miraculously too, the seat tube wasn't stuck, though in horrid enough condition that it will likely warrant replacement. The saddle, an Avocet Racing 1 replacing the original Ideale, was a lost cause.

http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/h...972Red012a.jpg

I disassembled it, and began cleaning the frame...

http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/h...972Red007a.jpg

I noted that it was cleaning up fairly well, and it was starting to grow on me...

Hmmm... Reynolds 531, and it has those fancy lugs I love so well - and the ride is probably just heavenly, I thought.

http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/h...972Red009a.jpg

Then I started thinking that with all the paint scrapes, the hole drilled through the seat tube, and the market what it is lately, this bike was not going to bring much money. Besides, I did not have much invested, so even if I kept it, it would not be a financial loss.

I stopped. "WHAT AM I THINKING?!" I asked myself... This would be a THIRD Motobecane and a SECOND Grand Jubile! Where would I even put another one?

Then, out of nowhere, I heard a raspy voice on my left shoulder - "You're ALREADY storing it, Auchen." (The voice knew my name.) What difference would it make if you kept it? It's just one more, and besides, it's RED - our favorite color!"

Then, a soothing dulcet voice on my right shoulder piped in - "You certainly don't need this bike Auchen, you have too many bikes as it is, and it would be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for you to bring these bikes with you into Heaven."

“- Heaven?” I asked. “Who's talking Heaven? I'm not ready to go to Heaven - not yet.”

I got a hot flash, and I started to sweat, fearful that my day of reckoning was near at hand, when I would have to explain what I was doing with all these bikes at the Pearly Gates.

Then the voice from my left shoulder came again: "Notice how warm it's getting in here? Do I need to remind you that you're not going to Heaven? You may as well live for today, and keep this red bike all to yourself, instead of practically giving it away to someone else."

- And the voice on my right said. "We must think of others first and put their needs ahead of our own sinful selfish desires.”

Lefty responded: “Who the hell NEEDS a Grand Jubile? Some stupid guy without a license after his third DUI conviction? Let'em ride a thrift store lady’s mountain bike. My pal Auchen here is going to keep this bike all to his self and have the biggest damn collection of Grand Jubile's on the block, you Goody-Two-Shoes dit!

"You don't know your elbow from a hole in the ground - He simply does not need this bike. He already has many more bikes than he needs" the voice on my right answered.

"Whoa" - I said to myself, "These guys are going at each other about my bikes, and are no longer even including me in the conversation. -- It's, it’s like I'm not here. Maybe this is the afterlife already." (I was worried.)

Lefty answered - "What you say? - I don't know my "ELBOW" from a hole in the ground? Ha!" I'm an expert on holes in the ground, and you can't even say the A-word, can you? - You miserable @#%^*!"

The predictable response came from my right: "Name calling is not allowed, and I have censored your expletive for Bike Forums. – And BTW, I do have a name: It's Gabe. – Now as I was saying, there is no way Auchen is going to heaven with these bikes."

“Uh oh – what does he mean by that?” I thought… I called out loud. "Hey Gabe!"

"Yes" the voice answered.

"Do you mean to say that I can't bring ANY of these bikes if I go to Heaven?"

"Yes." he said again.

"Lemme get this straight - I can't have my bikes in Heaven, and I have to give away my bikes now, in order to get there?

"Yes."

"Hey Lefty, are you there?" I called out.

"At your service" he replied.

"Can I keep my bikes, and have them too, if I go to - the other place?"

"Certainly" he said.

"Liar! Liar! Pants on fire!" Gabe exclaimed!

"Now who's calling who names?" Lefty countered.

"Alright, You guys just chill" I told them both. I've got a whole mess of cool bikes here, and it’s stopped raining. Let's all go for a ride."

"- I don't know if I should." Gabe said.

"Aw c'mon Gabe", Lefty said, "It'll be fun - honest. It's been a long, long time since you and I rode together."

And with that, we all rode off, laughing happily.

The neighbors just stared.