RobbieTunes

Call it a safety error, traffic accident, mechanical foul-up, or just plain stupid stunt, but many of us have, which may be why we have C&V instead of $5000 carbons to mess up...

I can only start with:

Bunny hop off a loading dock, and NOT on a mountain bike. Wrist, arm, collarbone, bike.

ken cummings

As a teen I tried riding with the left hand on the right handlebar and right hand on left. Immediate crash.

thadcombs

No handed skid at approximately Mach 5 speed down a super skinny alley with gnarly sharp rock walls after a couple too many beverages.

Casualties: Gloves, handlebar tape, shoulder, hand, saddle, front wheel, pride.

SoreFeet

Of all the bikes I have parted out I never made a dime of profit...Stupid! If I had sold them all as is I would have made my money back and a six pack of craft beer.

Brakeless fixie riding without a good chainline...Ooops!

Flying Merkel

At 17 in the first week of summer vacation, I did a jump of a curb while carrying a bag of fish & chips. I was on a Royce-Union 10 speed, wearing sandals. My right foot went into the front spokes. When I landed, I hit hard. The fork was bent horribly. I passed out from the pain halfway home carrying the bike. One broken arm, 6 weeks of summer shot to hell, & a R-U that was unrideable.

Runner-up:

Launching off a 6 foot high embankment repeatedly on my new Rockhopper while having a BAC that was to the moon. Went O.K. for a while, then everything went to pieces. I still wear the scar. Landed in a dust pile 6 inches thick that was loaded with rocks.

And:

Trashed a Schwinn mens three-speed bought for $10.00. Good condition, too. I just needed the linky thing that screwed into the rear hub. I still kick myself. And I wish I'd saved the Bendix hub from my Stingray. Had a red stripe on it.

roccobike

My dumbest was one of the worst. I was riding on single track on a mountain trail I had never ridden before. I was riding at a good speed when I noticed a small creek ahead. I decided the way to get across was to speed up and cross it so fast, the wheels would barely get wet. Well, I hit the silt on the bottom of the creek at an estimate of 15 MPH. The front tire dug into the silt, the fork bottomed out, and Roccobike went over the bars at about 14 MPH, and skidded along the gravel. Meanwhile the clipless shoes did there thing hanging onto the bike which slowed me down, but when I came to a stop, the bike came down on top of me. This all happend in about 2 or 3 seconds. My freind who was riding with me offered the following "encouragement". "WOW, That's the hardest I've ever seen anyone hit the ground."
Gee, thanks.
Nothing broken, but lots of blood everywhere.

Gordon P

Oh, when I was a lad my father bought me a 5-speed Sekine bike and I went racing around the neighbourhood up and down the streets and all over the place and while turning a corner I flew into the back of a parked car! So the forks got bent and my brother and I decided to turn it into a chopper! Well my father was not impressed with us but he did buy me a new metallic green 10-speed Sekine the following year.

Gordon p

roccobike

Fortunately there are no loading docks on the American Tobacco Trail, so we don't have to cross that bridge later this summer!

Noah Scape

In the mid-80s, I was in grad school and car-free. I was always looking for new and cheap ways of moving cargo and stuff by bike. One of my “great” ideas involved attaching a set of Wald folding baskets to the forks and fenders stays of my Continental. I already had those giant Wald pannier baskets on back and I figured this would double my cargo capacity. The job required various and sundry pieces of hardware and a lot of patience but ultimately I created a lowrider front basket system.

For the first couple of weeks my design worked pretty well; the bike handled okay and I was able to carry a lot of stuff. Emboldened by the early success, I decided to make a trip to the market and pick up a few things. I ended up with 2 big sacks of groceries and stuff. I left the store and confidently unfolded my baskets and placed a sack in each one. I hopped aboard my trusty steed and took off for home.

I must admit, I was feeling pretty proud of my innovation and was in the process of congratulating myself on a job well-done when my front wheel dropped into a pothole. The subsequent chain of events were both emotionally embarrassing and physically painful.

The pothole, coupled with the weight of the groceries caused the baskets to flex far enough to drop into the front wheel. This in turn caused me to fly ass over elbows and sent my 2 bags of groceries out into traffic. I was pretty banged up. But driven by adrenaline and pride, I drug my bike to the curb and collected what I could of the groceries that had not been run over by the cars speeding past. I sat there on the curb gathering my composure when I notice my wallet was missing. I looked around and there in the street about 25 feet from where I flipped was my wallet. It had flown out of my back pocket of my baggy shorts.

After the wounds scabbed over and my confidence healed slightly, I went out and purchased a Blackburn lowrider to attach the basket to… and that worked great until I built my cargo trailer. That is a story for another time!

cudak888 

Either the dumbest or smartest thing that I've done:

Broke my training wheels

-Kurt

McDave

Way back when I was a paperboy with a Schwinn Stingray, I had a row of homes to deliver to that were on a steep hillside. Back then we didn't have plastic wraps for the papers so the customers expected the paper be put inside their screen doors.

I would get as much of a running start as I could to get up the first driveway, deliver the paper, then pedal hard down the driveway onto the street then loop up the next driveway without as much effort, continuing this through the whole row of houses. Note: The saddle bags for the papers were two large bags that draped over the banana seat. This made it easy to pop wheelies.

So there I was pedaling hard down the driveways and just before reaching the street, popping little wheelies to make the transition to the street a little smoother. On about the fifth house I popped the usual wheelie and the front wheel came off and rolled down the street in a direction I wasn't headed. My initial thought was "this is gonna hurt".

And it did. When the fork dug in I went over the bars, the heels on my outstretched hands hit the ground first, and I just tucked my head and rolled. It wasn't too bad after all, other that all the pebbles ground into my hands. Recovered my wheel, stuck it on and tightened it by hand (no qr back then either), then walked up the rest of the steep driveways and didn't pop any more wheelies on that day's paper route.

I've never had a loose front wheel since then!

High Fist Shin

I laid my bike down on the right side while making a right turn. At the time I didn't know how to turn properly at speed or about gravel. I was going about 20mph, hit the gravel and BAM! Ouch! Me and the bike bounced off the road and into a ditch, I was still attached via clipless Looks.

Ripped my saddle, right pedal, right handle bar tape, cracked my rear derailleur in half and had road rash up and down my right side. My arm warmer was imbedded in my skin and I had to peel it off ever so gently. It left a nice little scar. I had to finish the ride in one of only two gears, both were too big for me at the time.

I learned my lesson.

mazdaspeed

Let's see, back when I was about 8 years old I decided it would be a good idea to try to carry home a huge piece of metal I found (I don't know why) which was a rod that probably weighed 20 pounds, and on my way I ended up crashing into the back of a parked car because I couldn't balance the rod. Not that exciting but extremely dumb.

This other time, I was probably 14 and thought I was a hotshot on my mongoose mountain bike. Keep in mind I had been riding bikes without training wheels since I was 3, and all of them since I was big enough were mountain bikes. Well, none of those bikes had fancy new V-BRAKES. I was riding home from the park and came into my driveway at a good 20mph, floored the brakes, and promptly went flying over my handlebars into the side of my parents' acura. I was embarrassed! I picked up the bike with my arm that wasn't broken and threw it into the street and went inside trying to think of the best way to explain to my parents what I'd just done. Side note: those same brakes are on my specialized to this day and I can still lift the back tire under braking at will

Another great idea: Last year one day I parked my bike on campus and locked it up. When class was done, it was snowing so I walked to my girlfriend's house and drove her car to my apartment. The next day I felt bad that my bike (my first "real" bike, an early 70's raleigh grand prix that I made into a singlespeed) was being snowed on, so I decided to try to ride it home in the snow, slick tires and all. How hard can it be? Turns out it can be quite hard with a singlespeed bike because of the force you need to exert to accelerate at slow speeds (wheelspin). I hit my nuts on the top tube HARD and walked the bike the rest of the way home. Dumb idea right there.

Blue Order

Now THAT sounds like a teen!

ZeRinger

The earliest brain fade moment I remember was back in my BMX days. I was riding with friends through a narrow dirt trail in the trees and brush along the river. In places, you had to really concentrate to make it through the trees without bouncing. I quickly discovered that the handlebars on my Redline were wider than the bars on my friend's Hutch, Mongoose, and Kuwahara. I aced an "insta-stop" when my bar ends each caught a tree alongside the trail. I went into and over the bars... and I swear it felt like three days before I regained my breath.

Strangest thing the ever happened was on my DX-5000. One of my smart-arsed friends decided it would be cute if he messed with my rear wheel alignment screws. Of course, I didn't realize he had done this so I shot down my parents driveway, around the cul-de-sac and started building speed down the street. Right about the time I got in front of my parent's house the rear wheel sort of wedged itself in and from there on it got a bit fuzzy. I remember the cranks stopping which caused me to lunge up over the bars. Literally, the next thing I remember is landing on both feet with the bike landing in front of me on the rear wheel in a vertical fashion... I had my hands on the bars. I check myself out and I am literally unharmed. Even more amazingly the bike didn't have a mark on it either. I half thought I was dreaming or losing my mind before I even made it to my 15th birthday but at that moment a neighbor lady came running up to me all worried and asking if I was ok. She had been sun bathing on the side of her house and said she saw me "flip all the way over" and thought for sure I'd be hurt. I still can't visualize that one in my head... wish I remembered more of it though!

vjp

mmmmm....

High Fist Shin

I just remembered a better one.

I was about 11 or 12 years old when my mother asked me to go over to her girl friends house to borrow some milk. It was about one mile away and she wanted me to walk it, but I insisted that I could ride my bike and carry the milk at the same time.

I arrived safely at the girl friends house and then realized that it was not a small container but a full gallon plastic jug. I still thought I could carry it. And although the girl friend didn't think it was a good idea, I insisted I would be fine.

I put the gallon jug on the handlebars of my BMX bike. I kind of looped the handle through the right grip and used my hand to hold it on the bar.

I started back home which was down hill. At the bottom I went to make a right turn, the jug slipped on the bar, but my hand, which was on the grip held it in place. I thought I was clever and continued on my way. It was right after that, that I hit a small pot hole and the top of the jug EXPLODED! Milk was everywhere! It broke right at the handle where I had looped it through the handlebar but it was still attached by a thread of plastic. Oddly, half of the milk was still in the bottom of the container so I walked my bike and the broken jug back home and placed it in the frig hoping my mom wouldn't notice.

But, of course she did. Grounded for a week.

Bikedued

My last oops was a couple of years ago now.... I was riding to the auto parts store on an 86 Torker 360 air freestyle bike. I get there just fine, and buy two lower ball joints for one of my trucks. I put them both in the bag, and tied the handle around the right side grip. I got all the way home, about 2 miles. I was pulling up to the gate, and thought I'd be slick and roll right up to the gate to unlock it, which involved turning left sharply just as I got there. I know now it wasn't a smart thing to do with 4-5 pounds of steel on one side of the bike. I was going maybe 2mph, and began the sharp turn. The ball joints swung out and pulled the front wheel 90*, and the bike went over on the left side in about a half second. I ended up on my hands and tiptoes over the bike. Only a small bar scrape, and a few small hand scuffs.

Then there was the time I was about 15, on the neighbor kid's brand new Team Murray X20. We had two large piles in the front yard. to fill in low spots. Each was about 5 foot high. I ran up one side full speed,
and cleared the distance between the peaks. It was about that time I realized there was a 3ft. wide Ash tree and a two story house at the bottom of the landing. I hit the ash with both brakes on, and only managed to twist the stem to one side about 10*, lol.

The one that was the worst, and causes me to wear a goatee to this day.....

Riding along in a small town where my Dad lived. The bike my brothers late sixties 5 speed Montgomery
Wards. It wasn't a special bike, just a hand me down. I was about 17 so that would make the tires about.....15-17 YEARS OLD!! lmao. I was flying probably about 20-25 mph and decided to turn the corner without slowing. About 1/2 way through, the old dried front tire lost it's grip. No gravel or anything, just a shiny tire, lol. My right hand and foot came off the bike, and the left sides stayed on. I went spread eagle
into the blacktop chin first. Of course I was wearing a white t shirt, which was soaked with blood by the time I got home. A few steri strips later, good as new, haha.,,,,BD


My favorite thing I got away with on several occasions? Riding down a hill in that same small town, with my arms crossed, and the backs of my ankles resting on the grips. My butt on the seat of course. THis was on the bmx bike though, not a rattle canned blue Wards 5 speed.

meagreresource

LSD -

also one of my favourite memories, but in retrospect pretty f-ing stupid

mazdaspeed

you should have told her not to cry over spilled milk.

(BB)

15 years or so ago (before I knew any better) I dropped off two leather saddled Raleigh 3 speeds in the metal recycling bin at the local dump. I was moving and just didn't have the space.

iab

Two things;

Bunny hop off of a loading dock = bent frame.

In an attempt to jump 9 garbage cans (me being the mini-Fonz), the bike got away from me and my balls landed on the rear tire. Needless to say, the contining forward motion and the knobby tires did not make matters better. No worries though, two kids later is proof there was no permanent damage to the boys.

Flying Merkel

A crash I got to witness as a kid (in the days of Evel Knievel) was a ramp to ramp jump done by the neighborhood loudmouth kid. He tried a 9' jump, measured by the sidewalk squares. His front wheel hit the face of the ramp causing a beautiful slow motion flip-over into a heap of kid & Sting-ray. His dad witnessed the whole event, ran over & slapped his kid hard, yelling all the while what a dumbass thing that was to do. Grounded him for a week.

I still tingle with joy at the memory. Last & only time I ever saw that prick get his

dudeona3V

I wanted to be the first to perform a full back flip on an '83 Stumpjumper. Came close several times, but not before breaking a wrist, a couple ribs and a collarbone. Perhaps more dumb was that they were all on separate occasions. Wasn't it Einstein who said insanity is doing the same thing the same way over and over and expecting a different outcome? I'm no Einstein. Amazingly (or perhaps not) no damage ever to the bike. Still have it.

dynodonn 

When I was thirty something, I tried to pretend I was still 17 and planned to do my best Evel Knevel impersonation, only to end up doing a full blown Awful Knawful manuver.
For my efforts, I was rewarded with a severely sprained ankle which took me out of the saddle for a month.