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Which vintage ride for the Zombie Apocalypse?

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Classic & Vintage This forum is to discuss the many aspects of classic and vintage bicycles, including musclebikes, lightweights, middleweights, hi-wheelers, bone-shakers, safety bikes and much more.
View Poll Results: Which vintage bike would you choose in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse?
Electroforged Schwinn
17
17.17%
Non Suspension MTB
55
55.56%
Vintage Road steel (531, Columbus, Etc)
19
19.19%
Whatever I can find at wal mart
2
2.02%
Old British 3 speed
6
6.06%
Modern Carbon Fiber, as I want my brain to be eaten by zombies
0
0%
Voters: 99. You may not vote on this poll

Which vintage ride for the Zombie Apocalypse?

Old 12-09-10, 10:06 AM
  #1  
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Which vintage ride for the Zombie Apocalypse?

Okay, another thread got me thinking: which vintage bike would you choose in the event of a Zombie attack? Obviously, you'd want a bike; a car would only attract mindless zombies, just like a shopping mall in Dawn of the Dead. Plus, you'd be silent. Even the Zombie Survival Guide admits this, and classifies the bike as the superior form of transport during a zombie apocalypse.

Now Big Boss Man has argued for an electroforged Schwinn, with durability as his main criteria.

Me, I think a vintage, no suspension MTB would be best, maybe re-rigged a bit with a different crank set up.

Obviously, new bikes will not work in the event of a Zombie apocalypse. I mean, you might be able to brain a few zombies with the shards of your CF bike after it spontaneously self destructs, but what then? No, you need something properly sturdy.

Please take this poll seriously, as it will help those in need make proper survival decisions in the future.
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Old 12-09-10, 10:22 AM
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I'll take the durability and flexibility of a non-suspension mtb. It seems like the zombies are already in my house every morning when it's time to get ready for school.
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Old 12-09-10, 10:23 AM
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I just want something that will allow me to mount a semi auto shotgun with a 50 round drum magazine.
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Old 12-09-10, 10:28 AM
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Originally Posted by RFC
I just want something that will allow me to mount a semi auto shotgun with a 50 round drum magazine.
I used to have some brackets for atv's mounted on the handlebars of an old rigid mtb to hold my rifle during hunting season. Worked great. Although some kind of scabbard might work better.
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Old 12-09-10, 10:32 AM
  #5  
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Originally Posted by RFC
I just want something that will allow me to mount a semi auto shotgun with a 50 round drum magazine.
I'm not really up to snuff on my zombie trivia, but aren't zombies already dead?

I vote WallyWorld Schwinn, because isn't a Pacific Schwinn the bicycle equivalent of a zombie?
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Old 12-09-10, 10:41 AM
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Vintage steel! Fight the undead with the undying!

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Old 12-09-10, 10:41 AM
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Richie here has clearly chosen the wrong bike, and as a consequence, will shortly be destroyed by zombies.

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Old 12-09-10, 10:42 AM
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Originally Posted by JunkYardBike
I'm not really up to snuff on my zombie trivia, but aren't zombies already dead?

I vote WallyWorld Schwinn, because isn't a Pacific Schwinn the bicycle equivalent of a zombie?
A common misconception. Zombies still have brain stem activity, so you need to either shoot them in the head or blow them to bits.
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Old 12-09-10, 10:48 AM
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Forget the semi-auto and the 870 wingmaster that BBM mentioned. I want an AA-12 mounted on the front of mine.
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Old 12-09-10, 10:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Poguemahone
Richie here has clearly chosen the wrong bike, and as a consequence, will shortly be destroyed by zombies.

Lol, well he could throw the hot dog as a decoy. Maybe he could slice the zombies up with his diamond tipped antennae?

Seriously though, that bike has obese American written all over it. Television, hotdog, popcorn, stereo AND phone...
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Old 12-09-10, 10:52 AM
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I'd ride CF, because that way the Zombies would take me for just one more of them.
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Old 12-09-10, 10:59 AM
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I'll have to vote with the mtn bike choice. I already have my bike to use when the zombie hoards start to roam. I just need to put some ammo boxes and few gun racks on it.


Bring on the zombies,
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Old 12-09-10, 11:05 AM
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I think if we sent the zombies over to roadie forum and all their carbon/weight wiennie bikes, they would die from starvation.

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Old 12-09-10, 11:07 AM
  #14  
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My apocalypse bike is already stored in my secured warehouse. I have food and water for one year, after that, it's off to the countryside.
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Old 12-09-10, 11:13 AM
  #15  
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I'd actually go none of the above. I want a classic touring bike...essentially my Koga-Miyata...but with an IGH and generator hub on the front. I definitely want a GPS system so as to avoid getting stuck on a road that suddenly stops. Wide handlebars would be essential to keep the bag carrying the large gun and front low riders to carry an axe on one side and rifle on the other.

Of the options above, I go rigid MTB and turn it into a tourer.

I'm also wondering if the best frame might actually be titanium...it would be the most resistant to zombie blood corrosion.

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Old 12-09-10, 11:15 AM
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Originally Posted by 20grit
Forget the semi-auto and the 870 wingmaster that BBM mentioned.
While I might concede a rigid mtb might be a better all-around choice (but a Varsity would be faster when fleeing), I'll stick with an 870 Wingmaster in riot configuration with a tube full of slugs. Why? Reliability. That AA-12 would be great - until it jammed or you lost your drum in the heat and thrill of sending those soulless ghouls to their final reward. I've never had a pump fail on me, or a SxS for that matter. But the SxS only has two rounds followed by the mandatory reload penalty.

But a mtb would be a better urban/rough road bike, I'm thinking.
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Old 12-09-10, 11:16 AM
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Originally Posted by Poguemahone
Now Big Boss Man has argued for an electroforged Schwinn, with durability as his main criteria.
Durability is an understatement. After a nuclear apocalypse, all that will remain will be roaches and Schwinn Varsities.
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Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."
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Old 12-09-10, 11:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Poguemahone
Richie here has clearly chosen the wrong bike, and as a consequence, will shortly be destroyed by zombies.

Where's that kid's helmet?!
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Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."
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Old 12-09-10, 11:20 AM
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Haha, how about this one! I found it by searching google images.
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Old 12-09-10, 11:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Doohickie
Durability is an understatement. After a nuclear apocalypse, all that will remain will be roaches and Schwinn Varsities.
Gilbert Godfried and twinkies will also survive.
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Old 12-09-10, 11:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Doohickie
Wear's that kids helmet?!
He couldn't afford one
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Old 12-09-10, 11:22 AM
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In another thread someone referred to my Mountain Cycle as MadMax-esque so it might work in a parallel post-apocalyptic world if I mount appropriate weaponry. I would prefer full suspension as (1). easier to roll over downed opponents and (2). more comfortable ride to the cabin in the woods/cave where I can hole up.
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Old 12-09-10, 11:26 AM
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Originally Posted by KonAaron Snake
I'd actually go none of the above. I want a classic touring bike...essentially my Koga-Miyata...but with an IGH and generator hub on the front. I definitely want a GPS system so as to avoid getting stuck on a road that suddenly stops. Wide handlebars would be essential to keep the bag carrying the large gun and front low riders to carry an axe on one side and rifle on the other.

Of the options above, I go rigid MTB and turn it into a tourer.

I'm also wondering if the best frame might actually be titanium...it would be the most resistant to zombie blood corrosion.

Newb..... relying on sophisticated, unmaintained and degrading technology would not be a solid long-range survival technique.

City boys.......
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Old 12-09-10, 11:27 AM
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Originally Posted by Doohickie
Durability is an understatement. After a nuclear apocalypse, all that will remain will be roaches and Schwinn Varsities.
I almost did a spit-take. Can I request that I make this my signature? I'd go for the rigid MTB (quick acceleration with those 26 wheels, durable as hell, carry your guns and ammo on the back). I'm tempted to also try the 55 lbs single speed mentioned here. If it can survive war-torn Zimbabwe, it may be able to survive the zombie apocalypse too.

And may I say this is possibly my favorite thread ever on C&V?
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Old 12-09-10, 11:29 AM
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I voted for the MTB also... and Mine's a Schwinn! Dual win!
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