Chicago Al 

That's me in the red there! I am an oil can and as Al is supposed to be doing 'work' in his home office this morning I thought I would drop in to say 'hi!'

Al needed something to put oil into freewheels and a Sturmey-Archer hub with. He couldn't find his old oil can so he bought me from the auto parts store for a ridiculous price. Why me? Because I was the only type available! And why 'ridiculous'? Because I was made by slave labor in China, and my actual cost in labor and materials was actually $-.15, yet I cost $10.00. But that's not all--while I look simple enough, I don't actually work very well!

For one thing, look at the threads on my lid. They are actually made so that every time I am opened, I will cross-thread upon closing. And as Al's fingers fumble while trying to unthread the lid and get it back on right, they get oily and it gets worse and worse. Most amusing!

Also, I have a little siphon pump that gets stuck (which is really funny since I am of course full of lubricant) and won't spit out the oil. This makes Al open my lid, find that there's plenty of oil inside me and...you guessed it! Hilarious!

But that's not even my best trick. This one is really, really cunning as it only happens when Al is not watching. Somehow my base is not quite flat, or my spout is stiff enough it catches on other things in the box I'm stored in; somehow I am not quite stable. So, every time Al pulls out the lubes-polishes-paints-cleaners box he finds that I have tipped over and oil is all over the bottom of the bin! He has thrown out the cardboard ones and now uses Rubbermaid, so there is plenty of oil to wipe up. It's just great, as he gets so puzzled and irritated at the same time. In fact sometimes I appear to be upright and yet there is still oil all over! You should SEE his face and hear what he says then.

Well, nice chatting with you, but I have to go now. I have to take....a leak!

Hydrated

I've run into the same sort of thing with tools of various sorts... and I sometimes try to find quality vintage tools. Like grease guns, oil cans, and clamps. My grease gun was given to me by my Father and still works perfectly even though it is almost 60 years old! And my bench grinder belonged to my grandfather and is at least 70 years old... still runs like a champ.

I'm searching right now for an older caulking gun. The new ones are so cheap that they self destruct after you squeeze about two tubes of caulk through them. They're made from Coors Light cans, I guess. The old ones were meant to last.

-holiday76

hold on a minute; how long did it take you to type all of that with just one spout? Did you get oil all over the keys?

RaleighSport

bad oil can, you be nice to Al he's a good guy.

randyjawa 

When you buy tools, based on lowest price, you loose almost every time, as far as I am concerned. $-.15? Not exactly sure of that number but my guess is that the crappy oil can has been stepped on so many times, getting from their there, to your here, that a bit more than fifteen cents is invested. That does not, of course, justify selling junk. But you know why they sell that junk, don't you?

Because we buy it!

As for the only oil can available, not sure about that one either, but I would not buy a new one, anyway. Though outside of the issue, there are all kinds of plastic squeeze bottles, with very small holes in the capped end, that work just great as an oil can. And, the control is better, as far as I am concerned. Now take that a step further...

Using the plastic squeeze bottle is a form of recycling, rather than buying new. These days, I look for alternatives to purchasing new. And you know what? The opportunities to do so abound! I conside my first fifty years and wonder, today, what the heck was wrong with me. Why did I buy all that new stuff. Why did I go back out and buy another one when the last one broke? Today, I look for a used this or that, before I even think new.

This does not apply to underwear. Why would anyone want to buy new underwear? Anyway...

Buying good tools, is about the best advice I can give, in this area of interest. A leaky oil can, that does not work well, is a pain. A cheap wrench, that stretches, under use, and rounds of a vintage steering stem bolt, ruining it forever, unforgivable!

I must compliment the OP on his presentation of a rant. Nicely done and for what it is worth, I have been there, with the can and so were about fifty of my fellow workers. Some bean counter decided to save a few bucks. So, take Al's Oil can and multiply it by fifty. Yup, almost every oil can was faulty. We sent ours back. I wonder if the OP did the same?

bigbossman 

Wait.... what? Are you saying you buy used underwear?

fender1

What you mean you don't??? Why, do you "hate the Earth" or something????

wahoonc

Hydrated...two brands to look for in caulk guns; Cox or Albion. IIRC I paid close to $40 for my Cox about 20 years ago, still have it, still works. The Albion is brand new and was around $45. Most likely won't find them in your local big box home center, look for an industrial supply house or a marine supply.

FWIW I am using my grandfather's oil can, he died in 1968 and it was old then. I bet it is pushing 60 years old if not 70.

Aaron

krome

It is a shame. This is why I spent big money on oil cans. 20 years ago, you could easily get an oil can that actually worked for less than $10. Now, I have to go out of my way to get a newly made oil can made in Germany or Switzerland to get one that works without leaking oil everywhere and actually works as intended. Oh, and they cost way more than $10 to get that.

I have a Reilang, made in Germany, and an El Olio from Switzerland. If you can find the old Eagle brand brass cans, they are a very nice vintage USA made can. The Reilang is available in the states, the El Olio I had to get someone to send me.

It appears that the Reilang is now also made in Switzerland.

Oil cans are something to look for at yard sales and flea markets. To the uninformed they are inexpensive. To those of us who actually use them day to day, good ones are nice to have.

sailorbenjamin

My previous boss used to go to those discount tool sales every year. Took a day off of work to do it, too. He'd come back with a whole index full of drill bits that turned out to be chrome plated brass (I thought steel was cheaper than brass) and a wrench set that had been buffed so hard before chroming that they weren't the right size any more. Then he'd get all huffy when one of those damned brass bits got bent or one of the crazy sized wrenched just cracked off at the head.
I don't work there any more.
The place I work now has a fleet of Electrolux canister vacs from the 60s or earlier and a guy who knows how to keep them going and has all the parts. Not that they need a lot of upkeep. They have lots of really old tools around. Mostly well cared for. I like it here.

RavingManiac

People everywhere have a sense of humor, the Chinese are no different. I'm sure they're rolling on the floor laughing when they make this junk for us. I bought a basic tea kettle to boil water, the kind that is supposed to whistle...it doesn't. Blows a large plume of steam, but no whistle. Bought a Target brand Chef Mate coffee maker, worked for 4 months, the heating element quit. Took it back and Target said they only guarantee them for the first 3 months, after that you have to deal with the manufacturer, in China. Figured I got a lemon so I bought another one like it, it worked for a month and a half. Yea, China, they're funny.

Bianchigirll 

that oil can is actually part of a cleaver plot by the Chinese bike makers to frustrate and iritate us C&V types so we stop repairing and ditch the old bikes and buy new ones.

Chicago Al 

A Chinese Cleaver plot? Oh, crap, they've got them now???

JohnDThompson 

My "pook-pook" oil can has served well for decades and will continue to do so indefinitely into the future:

zandoval 

I wish the oil in the three and one cans was good because I really do like the can even though the oil sucks...

As far as cheap tools I have to admit I do have my fair share of stuff from the Chicom outlet and I can't really complain cause they are what they are and used just the same...

It will not surprise me when a Vintage type chicom bike comes to market - If there is money in it then it will happen - I have many fair quality Chicom made components of my Franken bikes and to tell you the truth they have held up well...

Chicago Al 

Nice one, John!

Say, you should join us at oilcanforums.net, the classic and vintage area there could really use a guy like you.

RobbieTunes

I am so glad my red oil can ran away....

Chris_in_Miami

...must resist... off color joke.... gasp...


On a related note, I was at our favorite purveyor of cunningly disguised lead tools the other day, and found this Pitman arm puller that would save me the trouble of getting my hands dirty to break it. I didn't even need to open the package.

bigbossman 

Heh - I was once weather sealing some window trim around one of my bay windows, and the wife was helping. I needed to drive a screw and so had to put the caulking gun down to grab the drill/driver. I turned to the wife, held the caulking gun out to her and said:

"here, honey, hold my caulk for a second".

She was NOT amused.

unworthy1

"special tool of chargemotor"...I love this free-form poetry.
I, for one, would like to see a picture of Al's oil can, so I can avoid it on my next trip to Harbor Freight Tools.
Edit: oh look, there it is...OK: I don't own one and won't ever buy one.

Charles Wahl

My C&V oil cans' girlfriends can beat up your oil cans' lawyers



I've fitted the one on the right with a clear flexible hose ending in a short length of 1/16" dia. brass tubing; makes it easy to see when flow begins, and very easy to get oil into ports like Campy Record hubs and early Shimano Deore hubs have, and the small holes in pedals; not to mention S-A AW hub.

Flying Merkel

Sometimes you have to explain the joke with gestures and bodily motions.

I will go on record saying I love Harbor Freight. Much of what they sell is pure crap. Some is usable crap. I try to figure what tools I need to be quality, and where I can get away with crap. Having a tight budget sucketh.

Chicago Al 

I think the oil can came from a store called 'Auto Blown.' Randy's got a good idea, though I don't think we likely had an appropriate plastic squeeze bottle around the house. You know, often you need to just GET THE FREAKING THING DONE and I bought the can in a moment of such weakness. Actually I was probably buying something else at the store at the same time with the oiler as a secondary.

I'll have to find a good oil oiler like John's above. Some old tools were in my dad's stuff that went late last year in a benefit rummage sale; I think some of my grandfather's were in there as well, but no oiler that I recall. Actually nothing good, my dad being one of the least handy men ever...damn I miss him, his elaborate swears when he couldn't get something to work were truly epic.

Chris_in_Miami

I've seen quite a few of these at antique shows, offered by the guys who specialize in tools. Prices range from $10 to over $100...

shipwreck

Don't you just love the smell of Harbor Freight? That chinese manufacturing smell that says, hello, I'm a smell and I will last longer on your hands than whatever you buy here.

I am lucky that I have several oil cans from the fiftys. My father bought a metal lathe, and the oil it came with can dumped itself out and died on the first day, so I gave him one of mine for it. My mother has a sewing machine oiler from the twentys used for the family sewing business. You have to give her a copy of your birth certificate and a thumbprint before you can use it on one of her machines while servicing them. And I'm her only offspring!