The Latest Fad
 

Young adults in urban centers are so "over" the fixie craze. The messenger bags, tight jeans and thin moustaches are passe. Now there's a new fad cropping up: ultra minimalist track-style bikes with no brakes, and the headset punched out. Those in the know take their rides down to the tow-truck shop by the train tracks to get the fork welded to the frame. Usually a six-pack is all the payment the guy wants for a few minutes with the wire-feed welder. That right, you're witnessing the birth of the "Forksie" craze. Forksie riders say, why steer when you can bunny-hop and power-slide your way around corners. They take their UO-8s to newly levels of lightness without that clunky steel headset weighing them down. The front end geometry tightens up too, with the head tube "slammed" on the fork crown. This new style seems destined to sweep the nation. Savvy bike flippers are already starting to build on spec for the demand sure to explode in the fall when the kids go back to college.

http://times-up.org/sites/default/fi...g_workshop.jpg

*This is satire- do not actually do this. Image borrowed from the internet. No affiliation.

This and wobble bikes. That's what the world needs.

I hear the best "riders" are also welding their wheels to the fork and frame.

Whatever keeps them busy...

Actually you could save a few more grams by off two thrids of the headtube so you only have a small section running between the TT and DT then weld the fork directly to that.

Darwin is alive and well.......

I Think it's a wonderful way to toss a little chlorine into the gene pool so-to-speak.

Can I watch??

Holy crap! I gotta agree Darwinism is alive and well.

Whatever.


I was doing that before it was "cool."

Not even April 1st yet. It's been a long winter.

I guess it's better then meth, crack, dubies or whatever!

After this becomes passe, it's going to be Going Tireless. (AKA "Nude" or "Naked") Who needs to be lugging around an 700 or 800 grams in useless, squishy rubber? A finesse rider puts the pedal to the metal, and the metal to the road.

After 50 miles or so, your neon lime Velocity deep Vs will become naturally reformed ("Seasoned") to interact with the urban surfaces in a most zen-like way.

He's kidding. People aren't doing this.

Yeah I thought as much.. but we still have fixed gear riders with no brakes or skills, ninja salmons, etc.. so I'm wrong and right ;)

I'm waiting for the day they ditch the saddles for saddle-free fixies. 400-500 gram weight savings vs. a Brooks B17 are possible.

Also, leather is cruel, and plastic has a carbon footprint.

Probably more of a consequence than a substitute, eh?

It's a really good idea, and they could just go with a lefty fork, and eliminate that R fork tube.

Yup, they are already wasting their tires locking and sliding their rear wheels. Fixies will evolve to 'Sparkies'. ;)
Titanium rims would make the nicest sparks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfRekj46Vq8

I frickin' love you people. I literally dreamed this last night. What does that say about me?

You know, when I did this- I had a problem where my fork crown wasn't providing enough room for the weld onto the head tube. So the fork still kind of turns. So my "forked" 1985 Trek 720 is more like a lame forksie that you can sort of steer. I guess that sort of makes sense, since steering is for old people and I'm old. The kidz wouldn't be impressed by my skillz anyway. I'm glad the tow truck place had that nice grinder- I was able to grindo off the brake bosses, shifter bosses, cable guides and derailleur hangers.

You're much more aware and attached to your situation like this- and it's a whole new liberation- just point and go.

Let's go
Wherever You lead, I'll follow
With you the future's beautiful
Let's go
Wherever You lead, I'll follow
Oh Oh
No turning bike

Also: No headset. Can't turn. Don't want to, either.

Im going to sell black spot stickers turn of the month, they mimic cross drilled disc auto rotors...I am sure I will sell a few sets:roflmao:

Bike execs spy lurking these threads. Next month we'll see China versions on the WallyMart bike racks.

In places that get snow and ice, they could re-lace their 24-hole rims with only twelve spokes, and put titanium screws or bolts in the other holes. Studded sparkies on ice. :)