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feeling guilty about this accident

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feeling guilty about this accident

Old 09-23-15, 05:19 AM
  #26  
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Originally Posted by rmfnla
Here in CA pedestrians have the legal right of way. If a car in one lane stops for them all lanes have to stop.

Very expensive ticket but that doesn't keep people from driving like buttheads...
Same here, but in this case the pedestrians were not visible due to the large vehicle in the right lane. The city should have installed the the light before opening the trail extension, especially since people routinely exceed the 35 mph speed restriction, often by a lot.
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Old 09-23-15, 07:19 AM
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Originally Posted by rmfnla
People who stop for me for no reason is one of my biggest peeves.
When a motorist makes an unnatural driving move it can cause problems for everyone around.

Glad you're okay...
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Old 09-23-15, 10:26 AM
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Originally Posted by indyfabz
Same here, but in this case the pedestrians were not visible due to the large vehicle in the right lane. The city should have installed the the light before opening the trail extension, especially since people routinely exceed the 35 mph speed restriction, often by a lot.
You said that large vehicle had stopped for the pedestrians.

The CA law states that if one vehicle stops at a crosswalk all other vehicles must stop as well.

This is intended to prevent exactly the kind of accident you describe...
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Old 09-23-15, 10:55 AM
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I had almost the same situation, although it was at a crossing with a crosswalk light and I had the light. A goof in an SUV wasn't looking and kept coming even though his light was red. He looked over, saw me crossing and slammed on the brakes and came to a screeching halt with his front tires in the crossway. I was almost up to him and a pickup truck came from behind slammed into his rear end pushing him well past the crossway. I gingerly made my way through the mess and kept going. I could hear him screaming at me but just ignored it.

There was no way I was going to become a party in that mess. It was clearly Mr. SUVs fault for nearly running the light and the pickup truck was at fault to for following too close. I was worried I would somehow get sued or a dumb arse cop might try to pin some liability on me - so I just kept on going. All I did was press the crossway button, wait for the white light and went when I had the right of way. I just didn't want someone with deeper pockets or connections linking me to this accident. They caused it, they could take care of it. Yeah, I am a bit calloused, but I worked long and hard to get where I am and wasn't about to have to lose a good chunk of it and have to hire a lawyer for something that was not my fault.

OP, you were right. No guilt should be wasted on this. The lady had what I call "unwarranted altruism" and decided to stop even though you were waving them on. Had you crossed anyway the dump truck might of slammed into her and her into YOU and we might not be reading your post.
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Old 09-23-15, 11:07 AM
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Originally Posted by rmfnla
You said that large vehicle had stopped for the pedestrians.

The CA law states that if one vehicle stops at a crosswalk all other vehicles must stop as well.

This is intended to prevent exactly the kind of accident you describe...
That is a sound law. Don't think our state or local traffic code has a such a requirement. Maybe I will check.
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Old 09-23-15, 08:35 PM
  #31  
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It's not a lot different than if you're in a left turn lane in a car to cross multiple lanes, and someone stops in one lane to wave you through even though traffic in the other lanes isn't stopping. The person stopping for you, while trying to be courteous, isn't thnking things all the way through and creating a hazard.
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Old 09-23-15, 08:54 PM
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Originally Posted by BigMo59
..... I realize that I'm not really at fault here but I'm feeling guilty for ruining so many people's day. How would you feel in this situation?
Guilt is inappropriate for this situation. The proper emotion would be sympathy [feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune].

Originally Posted by rmfnla
..... Accidents occur when a driver deviates from what is expected...
+1 Accidents also occur when divers aren't paying attention.
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Old 09-23-15, 09:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Dave Cutter
Guilt is inappropriate for this situation. The proper emotion would be sympathy [feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune].



+1 Accidents also occur when divers aren't paying attention.
True. That's even more likely to cause problems than when drivers aren't.
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Old 09-23-15, 10:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Velocivixen
but bottom line is that people have free will.
Or do they? lol.
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Old 09-24-15, 07:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Dave Cutter



+1 Accidents also occur when divers aren't paying attention.
True. But I can't remember the last time I saw an inattentive diver at an intersection. Hard to tell with that mask on.
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Old 09-24-15, 07:32 AM
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Originally Posted by Dave Cutter
Guilt is inappropriate for this situation. The proper emotion would be sympathy [feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune].
Maybe I wasn't clear. I just wanted to point out the OP should be having an emotional reaction to the accident(s). But the emotion felt should be "sympathy" and that it is likely the OP is misidentifying his/her sympathy as guilt.

Many people do a crappy job of identifying or properly naming the emotions they feel. But to see and/or be a participant in an accident and then have lingering feelings of sympathy.... is a GOOD thing. But carrying around feelings of guilt for something which you were not responsible for... would be an awful thing. As the OP would have no way to "right" the wrong for which they felt guilty.

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Old 09-24-15, 08:47 AM
  #37  
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Originally Posted by rmfnla
People who stop for me for no reason is one of my biggest peeves.

Too bad it had such a bad result this time, but it wasn't your fault...
This happens to me all the time. While I appreciate their trying to be courteous, it presents an awkward and potentially dangerous situation. I will usually try to wave them on when they have the right of way, yet they insist on my going on.

OP, I agree this was not your fault, but I admit I would be shaken up by this as well.
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Old 09-24-15, 09:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Dave Cutter
Maybe I wasn't clear. I just wanted to point out the OP should be having an emotional reaction to the accident(s). But the emotion felt should be "sympathy" and that it is likely the OP is misidentifying his/her sympathy as guilt.

Many people do a crappy job of identifying or properly naming the emotions they feel. But to see and/or be a participant in an accident and then have lingering feelings of sympathy.... is a GOOD thing. But carrying around feelings of guilt for something which you were not responsible for... would be an awful thing. As the OP would have no way to "right" the wrong for which they felt guilty.
Your probably right Dave. What I should be feeling is sympathy and I appreciate all the responses. I haven't been back on the bike since but I'm going to. I'm just going to avoid any four lane crossroads.
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Old 09-24-15, 09:45 AM
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Originally Posted by BigMo59
I appreciate all the responses and I'm realizing that the outcome could have been much worse. I do know that I won't be crossing any four lane roads anymore unless it's at a stop light. Thanks again!
You should not feel bad, however, I would definitely be rattled by seeing that collision.

I need to comment about crossing a 4-lane road without a light. A major bike corridor (Cedar Lake LRT) just West of Minneapolis has three crossings like this, none have a light. The bike route is red (Strava heat map) and I highlighted the three crossings in yellow.



I use this route all the time to get into Minneapolis. Since these roads are all busy, you need to play 'Frogger' to cross, it's always stressful.
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Old 09-24-15, 10:42 AM
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Originally Posted by BigMo59
Your probably right Dave. What I should be feeling is sympathy and I appreciate all the responses. I haven't been back on the bike since but I'm going to. I'm just going to avoid any four lane crossroads.
No. I am NOT "probably right"! You are not guilty of anything. You did nothing to feel guilty about. You are NOT responsible for the actions of others. Your misguided guilt will weight you down... and limit your horizons. Don't let guilt be your "go to" emotion. Guilt is a crippling and painful emotion. Take the time to learn what you should be feeling.... then practice discarding the false guilt.

I think most people have places and or things they may somewhat avoid on a bicycle. If avoiding the four lane crossing doesn't mess up your cycling pleasure.... why bother with it. But sometimes.... as cyclists (adults, people) we just have to buck-up and face our fears a few times... before the fear fades to shadows. I may never ENJOY the sound, and wind of a large truck passing me too closely at road speeds. But I have learned to quickly discard the uncomfortable feeling trucks sometimes give me. And I am a happier cyclist because of it.
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Old 09-24-15, 01:49 PM
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Thanks Dave, your right. But dang, be careful everyone at crossings like this!!
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