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Ladies who are losing weight or have lost weight.... real talk?

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Ladies who are losing weight or have lost weight.... real talk?

Old 09-10-19, 04:41 AM
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Bikeforumuser0019
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Ladies who are losing weight or have lost weight.... real talk?

Hello,

I haven't been riding much lately for a lot of reasons. So I started walking. Like, a ridiculous amount. And I have started losing some weight.


This past week while I've been out walking, I was cat-called two different times. That's not a thing that's ever really happened to me in my life. I don't know how to feel about it. In one sense, I kind of liked it because it made me feel "normal". Like, this is a normal thing that non-overweight ladies with average bodies have to deal with. But, I also didn't like it, because well obviously having men look at me as meat to be eaten is very gross. I'm just an ordinary person who seeks to live a quiet life, I've never much been into romance (at least in part) because I've always been overweight, I never thought of myself physically attractive to men.


I guess there's nothing I can do about it if men shout or honk. I'm not out there dressed to kill, I'm in a tee-shirt and gym pants, and after walking 5 to 10 miles I feel pretty gross...sweaty and schleppy and whatnot. Is that what some men like? I'm 35 years old.... and there are several universities near my home including an Ivy League school where the young, pretty girls go out dressed in fashion so ghastly they seem like they're clearly trying to bait men, on the weekends it's like a meat market. I guess I'm getting old enough now that those undergrads seem like children to me, and it makes me sad that they clearly want the men to lust after their bodies. Like, ladies, give yourselves more credit... and also some men really struggle with lust, it's not kind to bait them.


I'm just saying all this to point out that.... this is not what I'm doing. I'm just out there walking for my health, and I don't have a 19 year old body anymore regardless of my weight. Is this what life is going to be like when I'm thinner.... like, men shouting at me sometimes or making comments at my body when I'm walking sometimes is the new normal? I guess I can get used to it, but I don't really love it so far.


Men, feel free to answer I suppose but please be kind towards my naivete. I know it seems silly but this is new life-territory for me.


Jessica
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Old 09-10-19, 09:04 AM
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As a man I can appreciate the female form, and I realize that what the media portrays as attractive really isn't realistic. Women are not meant to look like Barbie dolls.

While I don't cat call I do notice, and to me a person riding a bike, walking, running or doing other fitness activities is very attractive as it is obvious that they are trying to maintain or increase a level of health and fitness.

I wouldn't call myself attractive at 6'3" and 365 pounds, but I do get the occasional comment that someone thinks I am attractive.

I say good for you for walking and getting fit. Keep it up.
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Old 09-10-19, 09:48 AM
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As a man, I've never understood cat calling. Do those guys really think they'll get something from it? No women I know seem to enjoy it....
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Old 09-10-19, 10:17 AM
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Old 09-10-19, 11:38 AM
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Originally Posted by College3.0 View Post
Hello,

I haven't been riding much lately for a lot of reasons. So I started walking. Like, a ridiculous amount. And I have started losing some weight.


This past week while I've been out walking, I was cat-called two different times. That's not a thing that's ever really happened to me in my life. I don't know how to feel about it. In one sense, I kind of liked it because it made me feel "normal". Like, this is a normal thing that non-overweight ladies with average bodies have to deal with. But, I also didn't like it, because well obviously having men look at me as meat to be eaten is very gross. I'm just an ordinary person who seeks to live a quiet life, I've never much been into romance (at least in part) because I've always been overweight, I never thought of myself physically attractive to men.


I guess there's nothing I can do about it if men shout or honk. I'm not out there dressed to kill, I'm in a tee-shirt and gym pants, and after walking 5 to 10 miles I feel pretty gross...sweaty and schleppy and whatnot. Is that what some men like? I'm 35 years old.... and there are several universities near my home including an Ivy League school where the young, pretty girls go out dressed in fashion so ghastly they seem like they're clearly trying to bait men, on the weekends it's like a meat market. I guess I'm getting old enough now that those undergrads seem like children to me, and it makes me sad that they clearly want the men to lust after their bodies. Like, ladies, give yourselves more credit... and also some men really struggle with lust, it's not kind to bait them.


I'm just saying all this to point out that.... this is not what I'm doing. I'm just out there walking for my health, and I don't have a 19 year old body anymore regardless of my weight. Is this what life is going to be like when I'm thinner.... like, men shouting at me sometimes or making comments at my body when I'm walking sometimes is the new normal? I guess I can get used to it, but I don't really love it so far.


Men, feel free to answer I suppose but please be kind towards my naivete. I know it seems silly but this is new life-territory for me.


Jessica
I'll be kind...........this is best left to Dear Abby NOT bikeforums.

I can't believe you would consider giving any weight to advice about this in a cycling forum.
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Old 09-10-19, 11:44 AM
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Originally Posted by tunavic View Post
I'll be kind...........this is best left to Dear Abby NOT bikeforums.

I can't believe you would consider giving any weight to advice about this in a cycling forum.
As far as I was aware, this is also a forum about losing weight. If my post is inappropriate, you are welcome to report it to a moderator. And your comment is passive aggresive, not kind. I am capable of deciding for myself to whose advice I wish to give weight.
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Old 09-10-19, 11:47 AM
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You could more appropriately post this in the Women's forum, if in fact....
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Old 09-10-19, 11:51 AM
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Originally Posted by shelbyfv View Post
You could more appropriately post this in the Women's forum, if in fact....
If you feel my post is inappropriate, please feel free to report it to a moderator. I asked for access to the Women's forum but never got a response.

Thank you for those of you who posted helpful feedback.
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Old 09-10-19, 04:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Bikeforumuser0019 View Post
If you feel my post is inappropriate, please feel free to report it to a moderator. I asked for access to the Women's forum but never got a response.

Thank you for those of you who posted helpful feedback.
I've been a member on Bike Forums for years and have not been granted access to the fabled women's forum. This is a forum that has been open and welcoming of those who are battling weight issues, male or female.

Good for you for working on your fitness and losing weight if that is what you are striving for.

As for being cat called....I have yet to be cat called...tho I have been told to "pedal fat boy"

I don't feel your post is out of place exactly tho title of thread is misleading and the issue of societal issues such as misogyny and sexism are not suited to this forum for variety of reasons? I could see thread devolving quickly and being locked.
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Old 09-10-19, 05:23 PM
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No more cat calls in So CA. Men want to , but there are too many cameras and cell phones to get you license number of your work truck, then they will call your boss and you get terminated.
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Old 09-10-19, 08:59 PM
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I'm in the process of losing weight, down from 378 passing through 246 and looking for 200. I'm 56 and 6'1". I will add married for 36 years, and have a 29 year old daughter, 31 year old son.

I'm a man, I look and appreciate. But I haven't cat called or made inappropriate comments since I was a teen. I can appreciate what you are discussing and hope it doesn't keep you from getting out.
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Old 09-12-19, 06:50 AM
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Originally Posted by trailangel View Post
No more cat calls in So CA. Men want to , but there are too many cameras and cell phones to get you license number of your work truck, then they will call your boss and you get terminated.
A real shame it takes all this to stop it.
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Old 09-12-19, 01:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Bikeforumuser0019 View Post


Men, feel free to answer I suppose but please be kind towards my naivete. I know it seems silly but this is new life-territory for me.


Jessica
1) Congrats on losing some weight and feeling better about your self
2) Sorry about the catcalls - seems to be a subset of men who enjoy this less, probably, for the potential to create a relationship and more to assert (or create in their own mind) some form of dominance. It's pathetic but all too common and really should end. Though the same could be said about a lot of antisocial behavior that women more often are the victims of.
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Old 09-12-19, 02:04 PM
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I was at the tail end of a 65 mile training ride when some young men in a new Mustang were saying stuff directed at me. Not cat calling more fat shaming. I ignored their antics as best I could. I can ride a bike 100+ miles ... could they? Maybe. Maybe not. But I can lose weight...they may always be jerks.
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Old 09-12-19, 04:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Aahzz View Post
As a man, I've never understood cat calling. Do those guys really think they'll get something from it? No women I know seem to enjoy it....
Agree, and also, how can anybody be that bold?
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