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I beat the clown

Old 07-13-08, 11:18 AM
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I beat the clown

Just finished the L.A.T.E. ride in Downtown Chicago this morning. It is a massive participation ride which starts at 1:30am in the Heart of downtown chicago and goes for 25 miles through the streets and lakeside paths.

This year I was able to score a low number in the second wave just behind the VIP wave which is the first to go off. In that VIP wave was Ronald McDonald in all his smugness, with his bright red hair, bright yellow jumpsuit and Hybrid bike. I thought to myself, "I'm gonna smoke this clown"

Mr. Mcdonald got an 8 minute head start. by the time my wave was released, my calves were twitching with anticipation and I felt like George Hincapee leading a peleton of over 6 thousand riders trying to chase the breakaway clown.

For the next 25 miles I did a personal time trial through the streets of chicago, avoiding potholes, surley cabies, and families trying to enjoy a beautifull night for a ride. Not me though, I was on a mission, not even stopping and the rest stop to pee.

torward the last five miles of the ride, I was alone. Well except for the homeless people sleeping on the benches, and I thought, " Where is this guy? no way could this clown ride this fast." I continued to hammer, driven mostly by anger.

The final mile of the ride finished on Columbus drive, a six lane road which was blocked off for the ride. As I turned into it, in the distance, I saw the flashing red light of a rider in front of me. I shifted up to see If I could catch him. As I got closer , to my delite, I saw that it was him. My nemesis, the infamous Icon from hell. I felt a surge of adrenaline and started to pound the pedals.

With the imaginary voice in my head of Phill liggett calling the final sprint in the Champs Elysees, I got off the saddle and passed the overly made up corporate monkey with about 20 yards to spare at the line.

I havent had so much fun in a ride for a long time
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Old 07-13-08, 11:22 AM
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But did Ronald even know he was racing you?
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Old 07-13-08, 11:22 AM
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lol, congrats, awesome story and sounds like it was an awesome ride.
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Old 07-13-08, 11:52 AM
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Show no mercy! Spank that clown!
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Old 07-13-08, 11:59 AM
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I betcha it would have been a bit easier to catch him if it was Grimace riding.
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Old 07-13-08, 12:00 PM
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LOL! i wish i had a clown to chase after on all my rides! great story.
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Old 07-13-08, 12:02 PM
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Originally Posted by zpl
I betcha it would have been a bit easier to catch him if it was Grimace riding.

Another case of underestimating A Clyde!
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Old 07-13-08, 12:30 PM
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Dang I thought you were gonna tell us you beat him up with a water bottle or frame pump!
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Old 07-13-08, 12:35 PM
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(pictured in my mind someone racing a brightly colored roadie)
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Old 07-13-08, 12:42 PM
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That's an awesome story. Congrats on beating the red and yellow purveyor of grease and salt!
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Old 07-13-08, 12:48 PM
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Great post!

So come tomorrow while I'm watching day 2 in the mountains of le Tour, everytime they cut to the heroic French rider who is 347th in the standing, about a week behind the leaders, and making a glorious breakaway attempt for his momenet of glory, and sponsor TV exposure, all I'm gonna be able to see is Ronald McDonald on a Towny getting toasted.

He was probably juicing on fries anyways..............................
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