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channeling embarrassment

Old 10-03-11, 10:23 PM
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channeling embarrassment

I know I should just let this roll off my back, but I'm feeling fat and stupid today.

On the way home I was pedaling slowly up an 8% grade when a few kids open the windows of their school bus and started hollering:

"hey fata$$!"
"just get off and walk, you can't make it!"
"you're so fat that bike is gonna break!"
"surprised you're not dead yet!"

at first I didn't react at all, and actually passed the bus later as it got stuck in traffic. but the rest of the way home I felt about two feet tall as I realized I'm in a real rut.

you would think that someone who rides 25-30 miles per day would be in great shape. and I'm certainly more fit than I was when I started, but I'm not much less fat. I lost 40# early on but have flatlined for the past year and even gained some back - this despite having clocked 5,000 miles. I'm sure people think "why is he still so fat if he rides so much?" one person actually asked me that question point-blank.

so this evening I had two different thoughts. one was that I'm just going to starve myself and drop the weight and SHOW THEM that I'm better than that. the other was that feeling of hopelessness that I'm stuck in a rut and can't get out.

you can guess which of those prevailed this evening as I consumed a few thousand sorry-for-myself calories.

tomorrow is, as they say, a new day but sometimes I wonder why I even bother commuting anymore. biking makes me really hungry, so I wonder whether I should take a break and go on a diet. if I lost 50-80# I would be much, much faster and enjoy the sport even more. and people wouldn't be playing the "fat card" so to speak.

enough babbling ... any suggestions on positively channeling embarrassment are most welcome
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Old 10-03-11, 10:38 PM
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Hahaha, climbing an 8% grade? ....F those kids!

In reality, just being a big guy you will always be considered fat to the small skinnies. Back when I was at 225, I was on a century when some skinny sharp dressed man jumped onto the road as I rolled by. He tried to turn it into a race but I kept my pace and repeatedly ran him down without accelerating, doing my thing. Later we got to talking then he asked why I was still fat since I had done so much riding. OK, now it's a race, I unleashed an ass whipping on the guy he'll never forget.

I accept that I'm always going to be considered fat by skinny dudes but he's got to live with the fact that now he knows some fat dudes out there can kick the carp out of him even after 95 miles. Probably put a damper on his being skinny.

When I get into shape, my body gets used to the routine. At that point, I really need to watch everything I eat and do some hardcore efforts on the climbs if I expect to lose weight. otherwise, my body adapts to the same old routine.
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Old 10-03-11, 10:51 PM
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yeah, yeah I know 8% isn't much, but with a full trunk bag, laptop, etc it adds up. at least I'm not spinning up the hill in my granny gear like I used to, so that's progress
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Old 10-03-11, 10:55 PM
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Originally Posted by mtalinm
yeah, yeah I know 8% isn't much, but with a full trunk bag, laptop, etc it adds up. at least I'm not spinning up the hill in my granny gear like I used to, so that's progress
No, actually I meant that it's funny they would laugh at you cause 8% is a serious climb. Dumb little frickers should have been cheering for you!

Gina and I were doing a climb up a 7% grade on our tandem. People would roll down their windows and shout "you guys are doing great!". Some day those little punks will grow up.
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Old 10-03-11, 10:58 PM
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oh, thanks for clarifying. I thought you were mocking my plight. it's the biggest hill in Boston and I wish it were on the way in instead of on the way home. I used to crawl up at 3-4mph in the granny gear, but now I'm a bit faster. not fast enough for the future losers on the bus, apparently. why so much hatred at such a young age ... escapes me.
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Old 10-03-11, 11:03 PM
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Originally Posted by mtalinm
oh, thanks for clarifying. I thought you were mocking my plight. it's the biggest hill in Boston and I wish it were on the way in instead of on the way home. I used to crawl up at 3-4mph in the granny gear, but now I'm a bit faster. not fast enough for the future losers on the bus, apparently. why so much hatred at such a young age ... escapes me.
Starts with the parents. I look around and see that not many people lack courtesy and respect for one another nowadays. Heck, walking into a restaurant, if I'm looking even close to getting to the door the same time as some lady, she'll run to be first to get seated. If she knew anything about me, they'd know that I would have held the door for them and let them go ahead. People suck now and they are passing on the same values to their children!
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Old 10-03-11, 11:07 PM
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saw something similar in Burger King last weekend. so many parents with their kids there and the kids are just barking orders. i want THAT! super size! not the onion rings! and so on. seems they could use a few homecooked meals where you eat what you are served or go hungry. overchoice makes kids feel entitled.
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Old 10-03-11, 11:55 PM
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Originally Posted by mtalinm
yeah, yeah I know 8% isn't much, but with a full trunk bag, laptop, etc it adds up. at least I'm not spinning up the hill in my granny gear like I used to, so that's progress
You are being way, way too hard on yourself, 8% is a pretty serious grade for anyone. If you are able to ride it and a lot wouldn't, give yourself a pat on the back, don't short change yourself.
Logically, you know you have nothing to be embarrassed about, rather you should be proud of your accomplishments. Also, everyone has down days it's not just you.

Self esteem, it seems, is a delicate subject for most people at one time or another. Just my humble lay person opinion, however, it sounds like yours took a small hit today?

You know that you cannot control the behaviour of others. Those kids and their smart mouths will be around forever in one form or another. Put it this way, imagine yourself being a visiting right-fielder in most major league ballparks.

There are many strategies for understanding, developing and building self-esteem/confidence so maybe a quick look into that might help?

I apologize if I am over analysing things.
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Old 10-04-11, 04:16 AM
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i use to weigh nearly 400lbs and dropped from that to 320lbs in about 6 months. Contrary to popular belief, weight loss is much more connected to diet than exercise. in the most extreme cases, people only cycle twice a day, but most people eat 3-5 times a day. if you focus on not drinking calories, not eating sugars, cutting back carbs on the days you don't cycle, and eating a paleo diet that consists of as little processed food as possible, you should notice a huge difference even with minimal exercise. The key to a successful diet is to SCHEDULE a cheat meal once a week to have something to look forward to and to avoid going into starvation mode. you can count calories to begin with, but you first have to figure out your BMR (Base Metabolic Rate:how many calories your body needs in a day, google a calculator if you need to and recalculate for every 10lbs) aim towards 5-800 below that, and whenever you count calories, always round up to the nearest 50 to account for stuff like sauces and larger portions. You also said that you're always hungry when you finish a ride, try eating slow digesting carbs and hydrating really well about an hour before you ride.

Now before I start rambing, I'm going to get to the point. It's very easy to avoid being heckled by school buses. Just don't ride on the main roads between 15:00 and 16:00. But more importantly, don't let kids get to you and DEFINITELY don't lose weight simply "TO SHOW THEM" First of all, they're little kids. They don't care if you make progress, and they'll still call you fat even if you've lost 200lbs. Your goal should be to get healthier for YOU, not THEM. I realized that I'm in my 20's and I wanted to be able to say "I'm healthier today than I was yesterday" while I'm still young enough to achieve it. I made the mistake of revenge dieting and turning weight loss into a negative and hate-filled experience instead of focusing on being positive and enjoying myself. Your goals shouldn't be "I wanna lose 100 lbs by spring so I can look good and make everyone feel bad" they should be more along the lines of "I want to stick to my diet and exercise routine every day this week without excuses because if I put in a consistent effort, I'll get consistent results" and make that your goal for each week I have a system where if I exercise and eat well that day, I put a green x through that day on my calendar, but if I miss a day, I colour that square black so that at the end of each month, I can tell how active I've been and even notice stuff like if I'm lazy on sunday/monday and work on improving that.

And finally, once it starts to get cold outside, you need to focus more on your diet because most people are less active, and eat a lot more between october and april (thanksgiving, halloween, christmas, newyears, valentines day, march break, easter) if you can make it through those months and not gain 15lbs, consider yourself successful.
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Old 10-04-11, 04:31 AM
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Passing them again later should make you feel 2 feet taller!

Wave at them and think "I'm baaaaaack!"
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Old 10-04-11, 04:57 AM
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Originally Posted by mtalinm
I know I should just let this roll off my back, but I'm feeling fat and stupid today.

On the way home I was pedaling slowly up an 8% grade when a few kids open the windows of their school bus and started hollering:

"hey fata$$!"
"just get off and walk, you can't make it!"
"you're so fat that bike is gonna break!"
"surprised you're not dead yet!"

at first I didn't react at all, and actually passed the bus later as it got stuck in traffic. but the rest of the way home I felt about two feet tall as I realized I'm in a real rut.

you would think that someone who rides 25-30 miles per day would be in great shape. and I'm certainly more fit than I was when I started, but I'm not much less fat. I lost 40# early on but have flatlined for the past year and even gained some back - this despite having clocked 5,000 miles. I'm sure people think "why is he still so fat if he rides so much?" one person actually asked me that question point-blank.

so this evening I had two different thoughts. one was that I'm just going to starve myself and drop the weight and SHOW THEM that I'm better than that. the other was that feeling of hopelessness that I'm stuck in a rut and can't get out.

you can guess which of those prevailed this evening as I consumed a few thousand sorry-for-myself calories.

tomorrow is, as they say, a new day but sometimes I wonder why I even bother commuting anymore. biking makes me really hungry, so I wonder whether I should take a break and go on a diet. if I lost 50-80# I would be much, much faster and enjoy the sport even more. and people wouldn't be playing the "fat card" so to speak.

enough babbling ... any suggestions on positively channeling embarrassment are most welcome
Don't be too hard on yourself. Don't let verbal diarrhea from some snot-nosed brats mess with your head.

Question: what's your height and weight?

In my opinion, most weight loss comes from diet. I recommend keeping a log of everything you eat and at what time for a whole week. You'll be doing an audit of your eating habits. Besides overall calorie intake, what you're eating and the time of the day you eat will have an effect on weight loss.
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Old 10-04-11, 05:21 AM
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1: Keep riding.
2: Diet is everything. If you eat properly nutritious foods, you won't need to eat as much... when your body is hungry, it's asking for nutrition, not calories. Eat right and you'd be surprised at how little you actually need to eat. Don't just "starve yourself" and keep eating processed foods.
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Old 10-04-11, 05:57 AM
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You are just having a bad day. Think about it.... your are riding AND CLIMBING..... more then most people do.

Some food for thought:

- When you excersise, if you do the same thing over and over and over, your body gets accustomed (sp?) to the workout and you wont burn as many calories. I learned this from Tony Horton, who has been writing about it for a long time. Body confusion will burn more calories. For example, if you were to hit the gym, do some cardio with either eliptcal or the tredmil and then some weight training (not so much to build but the tone) and then do some riding, you will build the body confusion and your body wont know what to get used to.

- On the eating side, try to write down everything you eat. A lot of it has to do with the quality of claories you put in your body. Vegetables are fruit are almost free calories (I use that term loosly.... they still have calories but when it comes to vegetables, you can have a lot for a little). You might consider a nutritionist or dietician. I started working with one a few weeks ago and it has changed a lot about what I do.

Hope this helps. Dont get frusterated. A lot about weightloss is about tweaking what you are doing. What you are doing now might not work next month and what you do next month might not work a few months from now.
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Old 10-04-11, 07:40 AM
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Just by riding, you are being more free than those poor children trapped in a big yellow cage. They are living a fairly frustrating part of their little lives, being herded to school, being herded around school, and being herded home.

When they see you, they realize that they are jealous of the freedom you have to ride. Being young, the only way they know how to vent that jealousy is to taunt you. (I've actually had adults do this, too).

8% ... sounds like a tough climb, especially on a daily basis when you have cumulative fatigue. I hate hills and I bike an extra 2 miles to avoid one long hill which is less than 8%. So kudos to you for that grind.
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Old 10-04-11, 07:51 AM
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Originally Posted by mtalinm
I know I should just let this roll off my back, but I'm feeling fat and stupid today.

On the way home I was pedaling slowly up an 8% grade when a few kids open the windows of their school bus and started hollering:

"hey fata$$!"
"just get off and walk, you can't make it!"
"you're so fat that bike is gonna break!"
"surprised you're not dead yet!"

at first I didn't react at all, and actually passed the bus later as it got stuck in traffic. but the rest of the way home I felt about two feet tall as I realized I'm in a real rut.

you would think that someone who rides 25-30 miles per day would be in great shape. and I'm certainly more fit than I was when I started, but I'm not much less fat. I lost 40# early on but have flatlined for the past year and even gained some back - this despite having clocked 5,000 miles. I'm sure people think "why is he still so fat if he rides so much?" one person actually asked me that question point-blank.

so this evening I had two different thoughts. one was that I'm just going to starve myself and drop the weight and SHOW THEM that I'm better than that. the other was that feeling of hopelessness that I'm stuck in a rut and can't get out.

you can guess which of those prevailed this evening as I consumed a few thousand sorry-for-myself calories.

tomorrow is, as they say, a new day but sometimes I wonder why I even bother commuting anymore. biking makes me really hungry, so I wonder whether I should take a break and go on a diet. if I lost 50-80# I would be much, much faster and enjoy the sport even more. and people wouldn't be playing the "fat card" so to speak.

enough babbling ... any suggestions on positively channeling embarrassment are most welcome
The world is full of nasty people. I'm sorry some of them got under your skin.

Last edited by x136; 10-04-11 at 10:32 AM. Reason: Inappropriate comment.
 
Old 10-04-11, 09:05 AM
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If you think you need to lose weight, then do it for yourself, and not for some morons on a bus. You can't let idiots tell you what you think of yourself.
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Old 10-04-11, 09:13 AM
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Originally Posted by JonnyHK
Passing them again later should make you feel 2 feet taller!

Wave at them and think "I'm baaaaaack!"
^^ THIS!!

Those little lard-asses in training got passed by an old, fat BICYCLIST! Go, man, go! You sure showed them! They were just to stoopid to recognize it!

If you want to lose weight, as others have pointed out, you have to watch what you eat. Sigh. I just re-started counting Weight Watchers points yesterday. Time for me to take off another 5% before Christmas dinners hit.

(Note there's one exception. If you take off on a loaded bike tour, you can ride eight hours a day, and if you skip dessert at supper, you'll lose weight like crazy, no matter what you eat the rest of the day!)
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Old 10-04-11, 09:34 AM
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thanks all, I needed the encouragement. I guess I'm living proof that exercise alone doesn't do the trick. I do wonder whether I should hang up the wheels for awhile and just watch my intake - biking makes me really hungry
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Old 10-04-11, 09:42 AM
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again, its about the QUALITY of calories you put in your mouth!
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Old 10-04-11, 09:45 AM
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Originally Posted by mtalinm
thanks all, I needed the encouragement. I guess I'm living proof that exercise alone doesn't do the trick. I do wonder whether I should hang up the wheels for awhile and just watch my intake - biking makes me really hungry
It also makes you awesome.
 
Old 10-04-11, 09:52 AM
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Work on loosing the ego, the weight (or what others say) won't matter.

Also, look at marksdailyapple.com for some different ideas on improving your health. I say different because the Conventional Wisdom does not work often.

Good luck!

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Old 10-04-11, 09:56 AM
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To quote Bono (who was probably quoting someone else), don't let the bastards grind you down.



Kids are idiots. Especially this latest generation. Helicopter parenting and TV zombification has created a generation of kids unable to think or do things for themselves. Eventually they'll be fatter than any of us ever were, and more helpless than ever. Karma will bite them on the asses. Keep up the hard work and don't fall back into binge eating habits.

Now, to make amends for the 1000 extra calories you ate, go out and cycle for 2-3 hours
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Old 10-04-11, 10:24 AM
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I would call the school and complain about their uncivilized students.
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Old 10-04-11, 10:35 AM
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Originally Posted by mtalinm
thanks all, I needed the encouragement. I guess I'm living proof that exercise alone doesn't do the trick. I do wonder whether I should hang up the wheels for awhile and just watch my intake - biking makes me really hungry
I've been on a plateau, with not too much more weight to lose. And I have been really hungry lately so I've eaten more, flip flopping with OK calorie days and then too many calorie days. At least I am not gaining but I am not losing. Biking makes me hungry too.

One thing I should try is going back to a low carb diet, it does seem to reduce my appetite. I also think that the Chef is right, I have to vary my exercise routine. I stopped my morning walks when I changed location because I no longer have walking buddies. I need to get back to the walks or try something else.

That said, it likely will make you less hungry to exercise less and there is at least some evidence that weight loss can be easier when you are sedentary. (sorry, can't find the citation). But, long term maintenance seems more successful for people who exercise. I think the bottom line is that we have to be willing to live with hungry. (I say as my stomach is growling as I sit on the couch waiting for the cable tv guy to show up.)
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Old 10-04-11, 10:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Neil_B
It also makes you awesome.
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