People honking at me triggers my RAGE
12-12-15, 07:12 PM
#26
GATC
12-12-15, 10:10 PM
#27
Senior Member
I used to do the same.. then one day it was one of my friends. One way to feel to like a complete jerk. Since then I've did a complete 180 on how I act with honkers.
12-12-15, 10:40 PM
#28
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Binghamton, NY
Posts: 2,896
Bikes: Workcycles FR8, 2016 Jamis Coda Comp, 2008 Surly Long Haul Trucker
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 6 Times
in
5 Posts
Just to play devil's advocate, but perhaps your are riding like an imbecile?
12-13-15, 01:48 AM
#30
Senior Member
I'm a nice person but disrespecting me, or being plan ignorant takes me from cool and collected to raging mad man in a matter of miliseconds.. Literally almost been in a few fist fights during my travels.. Some probably would have been if I could have caught them..
Whats the best way to deal with this? I have zero tolerance for the imbeciles
Whats the best way to deal with this? I have zero tolerance for the imbeciles
12-13-15, 09:05 AM
#31
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Alpharetta, GA
Posts: 15,280
Bikes: Nashbar Road
Mentioned: 71 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2934 Post(s)
Liked 341 Times
in
228 Posts
The anger is instinctive after someone has put you in danger and then behaves aggressively, such as honking at you. Or if you perceive that to be the case. Fight or flight, it's hardwired into us for survival. I say that anyone, nice person or not, experiences that in an extreme situation and it's how we deal with it that makes us "a nice person" or otherwise.
12-13-15, 09:30 AM
#32
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: mars
Posts: 759
Bikes: 2015 synapse
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times
in
0 Posts
If its a friendly I'm just giving you a heads up honk, be thankful that person was paying attention to you.
If it's not that kind of honk, I approach those people three ways.
Most frequently I just ignore them, happens too much to get worked up over.
If they happen to get caught at a red light right after, I might roll up to them and ask them why they honked. Not yell or threaten, but ask out of curiosity.
Lastly, if I know they were being idiots and I don't have a chance to talk to them, I give them a middle finger or shine my light in their rear view mirror if its night. Not because I'm RAGING, but because I want to let those people know that I don't appreciate their actions. Here's an example of the latter:
They were being an idiot by expecting me to just get off the road for them when I had no where else to go. No sidewalk, no shoulder, no bike lane, lane is FAR too narrow for us to share so I claim it. So shine my headlight in their mirror as my way of saying "chill out," then forget about it and enjoy the rest of my ride.
If it's not that kind of honk, I approach those people three ways.
Most frequently I just ignore them, happens too much to get worked up over.
If they happen to get caught at a red light right after, I might roll up to them and ask them why they honked. Not yell or threaten, but ask out of curiosity.
Lastly, if I know they were being idiots and I don't have a chance to talk to them, I give them a middle finger or shine my light in their rear view mirror if its night. Not because I'm RAGING, but because I want to let those people know that I don't appreciate their actions. Here's an example of the latter:
They were being an idiot by expecting me to just get off the road for them when I had no where else to go. No sidewalk, no shoulder, no bike lane, lane is FAR too narrow for us to share so I claim it. So shine my headlight in their mirror as my way of saying "chill out," then forget about it and enjoy the rest of my ride.
12-13-15, 09:58 AM
#33
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Kent Wa.
Posts: 5,332
Bikes: 2005 Gazelle Golfo, 1935 Raleigh Sport, 1970 Robin Hood sport, 1974 Schwinn Continental, 1984 Ross MTB/porteur, 2013 Flying Piegon path racer, 2014 Gazelle Toer Populair T8
Mentioned: 12 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 396 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 8 Times
in
7 Posts
12-13-15, 09:57 PM
#34
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Binghamton, NY
Posts: 2,896
Bikes: Workcycles FR8, 2016 Jamis Coda Comp, 2008 Surly Long Haul Trucker
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 6 Times
in
5 Posts
I agree wphamilton, however for clarification I question whether the OP's riding style may have something to do with the honking (i.e. riding against traffic, salmoning, riding without lights, etc.). So in response to the OP, if you are doing anything I mention then stop.
12-14-15, 07:52 AM
#35
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Bruce Twp, MI
Posts: 305
Bikes: Huffy Sienna Cruiser
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 54 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 2 Times
in
2 Posts
I would really rather have someone honk at me than attempt to pass within inches of me.
12-14-15, 08:04 AM
#36
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Columbia, SC
Posts: 2,977
Bikes: 2014 Cannondale Synapse Carbon 4 Rival; 2014 Cannondale Trail 7 29; 1972 Schwinn Suburban, 1996 Proflex 756, 1987(?) Peugeot, Dahon Speed P8; 1979 Raleigh Competition GS; 1995 Stumpjumper M2 FS, 1978 Raleigh Sports, Schwinn Prologue
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 213 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 4 Times
in
4 Posts
I'll take the honk any day. At least they see me. Are they honking and passing your super close, or just honking and going on their way?
Not your fault they have a micro penis and need to rage to feel good about themselves. Why play into their childishness? I would certainly NOT recommend getting a gun, as one poster suggested, no need to escalate a situation. What are you gonna do, when someone honks are you going to point it at them? That's a crime
Not your fault they have a micro penis and need to rage to feel good about themselves. Why play into their childishness? I would certainly NOT recommend getting a gun, as one poster suggested, no need to escalate a situation. What are you gonna do, when someone honks are you going to point it at them? That's a crime
12-14-15, 08:37 AM
#37
The Fat Guy In The Back
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Sioux Falls, SD
Posts: 2,532
Bikes: '81 Panasonic Sport, '02 Giant Boulder SE, '08 Felt S32, '10 Diamondback Insight RS, '10 Windsor Clockwork, '15 Kestrel Evoke 3.0, '19 Salsa Mukluk
Mentioned: 92 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 320 Post(s)
Liked 177 Times
in
115 Posts
Cycling is supposed to be a stress-reducer.
Any chance you can shift your work hours and ride in a little earlier when traffic is lighter? When I ride in at 6:45 AM I notice things are much calmer than when I leave at 7:30.
Any chance you can shift your work hours and ride in a little earlier when traffic is lighter? When I ride in at 6:45 AM I notice things are much calmer than when I leave at 7:30.
__________________
Visit me at the Tundra Man Workshop
Visit me at the Tundra Man Workshop
12-14-15, 08:55 AM
#38
Tortoise Wins by a Hare!
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Looney Tunes, IL
Posts: 7,398
Bikes: Wabi Special FG, Raleigh Roper, Nashbar AL-1, Miyata One Hundred, '70 Schwinn Lemonator and More!!
Mentioned: 22 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1549 Post(s)
Liked 941 Times
in
504 Posts
I'll take the honk any day. At least they see me. Are they honking and passing your super close, or just honking and going on their way?
Not your fault they have a micro penis and need to rage to feel good about themselves. Why play into their childishness? I would certainly NOT recommend getting a gun, as one poster suggested, no need to escalate a situation. What are you gonna do, when someone honks are you going to point it at them? That's a crime
Not your fault they have a micro penis and need to rage to feel good about themselves. Why play into their childishness? I would certainly NOT recommend getting a gun, as one poster suggested, no need to escalate a situation. What are you gonna do, when someone honks are you going to point it at them? That's a crime
I find the vast majority of honkers pass me safely with plenty of room. I also find it's best to totally ignore them, denying them any satisfaction. They're upset and want to upset us. Nope, I'm not playing.
12-14-15, 09:00 AM
#39
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Columbia, SC
Posts: 2,977
Bikes: 2014 Cannondale Synapse Carbon 4 Rival; 2014 Cannondale Trail 7 29; 1972 Schwinn Suburban, 1996 Proflex 756, 1987(?) Peugeot, Dahon Speed P8; 1979 Raleigh Competition GS; 1995 Stumpjumper M2 FS, 1978 Raleigh Sports, Schwinn Prologue
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 213 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 4 Times
in
4 Posts
12-14-15, 09:37 AM
#40
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Western Florida
Posts: 1,581
Bikes: 2017 Kona TI, 2016 Bike Friday Haul-A-Day, 2015 Bike Friday New World Tourist (for sale), 2011 Mezzo D9, 2004 Marin Mount Vision Pro - for now :)
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 103 Post(s)
Liked 5 Times
in
5 Posts
The world is full of people who are imbeciles at least once in a while. If you have zero tolerance for them you are destined for a miserable existence. I'm not suggesting that it isn't sometimes necessary to call people out, but a lot of the time, fuming over some transgression does nothing but make you unhappy while the transgressor is miles down the road and has already gone on with their life.
There's been a couple of videos posted recently about drivers doing dumb things. In one case the driver had honked (apparently in annoyance) at a cyclist while passing them. The cyclist approached the car at the next intersection and calmly asked the driver what the problem was. I think that's fine but what the end result is we don't know. Will the driver be more considerate and less likely to honk in the same situation, or will they be even more inclined to be hostile to cyclists?
While some disagreed, I see that sort of conversation as a reasonable thing for a cyclist to do. At that point though I would forget it. It's not worth my energy to worry about it beyond that. If you're milliseconds away from raging though, I would skip the conversation and realize that it's up to you whether or not you let something like that ruin your day.
There's been a couple of videos posted recently about drivers doing dumb things. In one case the driver had honked (apparently in annoyance) at a cyclist while passing them. The cyclist approached the car at the next intersection and calmly asked the driver what the problem was. I think that's fine but what the end result is we don't know. Will the driver be more considerate and less likely to honk in the same situation, or will they be even more inclined to be hostile to cyclists?
While some disagreed, I see that sort of conversation as a reasonable thing for a cyclist to do. At that point though I would forget it. It's not worth my energy to worry about it beyond that. If you're milliseconds away from raging though, I would skip the conversation and realize that it's up to you whether or not you let something like that ruin your day.
12-14-15, 09:58 AM
#42
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Western Florida
Posts: 1,581
Bikes: 2017 Kona TI, 2016 Bike Friday Haul-A-Day, 2015 Bike Friday New World Tourist (for sale), 2011 Mezzo D9, 2004 Marin Mount Vision Pro - for now :)
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 103 Post(s)
Liked 5 Times
in
5 Posts
12-14-15, 10:14 AM
#43
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: D'uh... I am a Cutter
Posts: 6,139
Bikes: '17 Access Old Turnpike Gravel bike, '14 Trek 1.1, '13 Cannondale CAAD 10, '98 CAD 2, R300
Mentioned: 62 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1571 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 12 Times
in
9 Posts
I'm a nice person but disrespecting me, or being plan ignorant takes me from cool and collected to raging mad man in a matter of miliseconds.. Literally almost been in a few fist fights during my travels.. Some probably would have been if I could have caught them..
Whats the best way to deal with this? I have zero tolerance for the imbeciles
Whats the best way to deal with this? I have zero tolerance for the imbeciles
Maybe... if you could see the actual root cause it might help. All mammals have what's called the fight or flight reflex. So basically you're having a instinctual reaction.... to fear. It isn't your temper [temperament] that needs work..... it's your fear.
Anger... is merely uncontrolled fear. Rage... is uncontrolled anger. If you're really experiencing rage... you should see your doctor.
Meanwhile... cycling isn't for everyone. I've bought bicycles that had hung in a garage for 30 years. After a good scrubbing, new tires, and a little oil... they were just fine. Don't worry about the bike. Take care of yourself first.
Last edited by Dave Cutter; 12-14-15 at 10:17 AM.
12-14-15, 10:42 AM
#44
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: North East Tennessee
Posts: 1,616
Bikes: Basso Luguna, Fuji Nevada
Mentioned: 12 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4261 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 4 Times
in
1 Post
I don't mind a honk but when they stay on the horn several seconds it does get under my skin. It's only happen to me twice but I remember both times vividly.
12-14-15, 11:33 AM
#45
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Gaseous Cloud around Uranus
Posts: 3,741
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 38 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 11 Times
in
7 Posts
Maybe it was your mother?.........People can honk all they want.If I can still hear them,it means they haven't run me over yet.
12-14-15, 12:24 PM
#46
Another MN Bike Commuter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Perham, Minnesota
Posts: 110
Bikes: 2015 Trek Crockett / 2013 Trek Domane / 2014 Framed MN1.0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times
in
0 Posts
Wave and smile like you won the Giro. 
If anything it will keep your attitude in check.
If anything it will keep your attitude in check.
12-14-15, 01:28 PM
#47
Senior Member
Get a mirror and some blinky lights, that's the answer to everything. And chillax. Wave back at them and shout" I like jelly doughnuts"
12-14-15, 01:30 PM
#48
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Montpelier VT
Posts: 855
Bikes: Scott Genius, Surly Crosscheck, Yuba Mundo cargo, Specialized Dolce Triple (stolen 5/8/15)
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 29 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times
in
0 Posts
I'm a nice person but disrespecting me, or being plan ignorant takes me from cool and collected to raging mad man in a matter of miliseconds.. Literally almost been in a few fist fights during my travels.. Some probably would have been if I could have caught them..
Whats the best way to deal with this? I have zero tolerance for the imbeciles
Whats the best way to deal with this? I have zero tolerance for the imbeciles
i've also taken the approach "kill 'em with kindness" - when i get run off the road (which is often enough) and i catch up at the light, i usually ride up next to them and tell them they could have seriously hurt me and to avoid doing that in the future b/c cyclists are people. i've had a lot of positive reactions to that approach, altho once was given a list of terrible excuses (well, bikes just don't let me pass!). about half are cabs while the other half are car drivers, buses, and trucks.
also learning all the maneuvers on a bike over time thru clinics and just by riding has helped. emergency braking, carrying my bike up/down stairs, quick dismount and remount (ala cyclocross style), riding one handed, riding handless, slow riding (standstill). the next thing is learn would be going from track stand to go. the list goes on forever.
reading others responses, ITA with everyone, you say you're a nice person, but rage is not normal and you can't afford to be ragey while riding. you have to keep a level head to be on top of your game and if you want to survive on the road. simple as that. i agree some self reflection might be needed or outside help. best of luck OP.
Last edited by snow_echo_NY; 12-14-15 at 01:36 PM.
12-14-15, 02:27 PM
#49
aka Tom Reingold
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: New York, NY, and High Falls, NY, USA
Posts: 40,502
Bikes: 1962 Rudge Sports, 1971 Raleigh Super Course, 1971 Raleigh Pro Track, 1974 Raleigh International, 1975 Viscount Fixie, 1982 McLean, 1996 Lemond (Ti), 2002 Burley Zydeco tandem
Mentioned: 511 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 7348 Post(s)
Liked 2,465 Times
in
1,433 Posts
To get angry is to lose the game. Try to find a way to let it roll off your back. You can be sure it will happen again repeatedly for the rest of your life, so learn to expect it.
__________________
Tom Reingold, tom@noglider.com
New York City and High Falls, NY
Blogs: The Experienced Cyclist; noglider's ride blog
“When man invented the bicycle he reached the peak of his attainments.” — Elizabeth West, US author
Please email me rather than PM'ing me. Thanks.
Tom Reingold, tom@noglider.com
New York City and High Falls, NY
Blogs: The Experienced Cyclist; noglider's ride blog
“When man invented the bicycle he reached the peak of his attainments.” — Elizabeth West, US author
Please email me rather than PM'ing me. Thanks.
12-14-15, 02:52 PM
#50
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Sacramento, California, USA
Posts: 40,865
Bikes: Specialized Tarmac, Canyon Exceed, Specialized Transition, Ellsworth Roots, Ridley Excalibur
Mentioned: 68 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2952 Post(s)
Liked 3,106 Times
in
1,417 Posts
"Say to yourself in the early morning: I shall meet today inquisitive, ungrateful, violent, treacherous, envious, uncharitable men. All these things have come upon them through ignorance of real good and ill". -- Marcus Aurelius, Meditations