I try to make eye contact with people, when walking or riding. If they return the eye contact, I say hi or nod or give them a finger wave. Some people don't want to be bothered by strangers.

This is pretty much what I was thinking. I said I am determined to get a response, but I don't want it at the expense of harming, or even seemingly harming, anyone.

By high school, even if they have been taught to avoid strangers, I doubt they are listening to their parents regarding that. My assumption would be they think they are too cool to waste time saying hello to a goofball old guy on a bike (no offense!). Heck....you could be in college and still be the goofball old guy to high schoolers.

Time to get their attention!

I usually feel a twinge of remorse when I don't return a wave. Usually that happens when I'm taken aback by a wave from a roadie whom I wouldn't expect to initiate one. :o

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Originally Posted by Jim from Boston (Post 19153770)

…Personally, I do wave, except where there are loads of cyclists, such as my early morning commute in downtown Boston. I’m not put off by a lack of response either…

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Originally Posted by MAK (Post 19063568)

…I also find myself in the supermarket pushing the shopping cart with my hands parallel to the sides of the handle as if I'm "on the hoods".…

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Originally Posted by Jim from Boston (Post 19063698)

I have given “finger waves” myself while pushing a shopping cart.

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That's awful. Leave those kids alone.

I make it a point to be known by the folks I pass on my commute. Commuting is different than most cycling because you meet the same people every day, and since a cyclist is a bit of an oddity, they'll get to recognize you. So, I prefer that they remember me in a positive way, and greet folks in a friendly way. Over the years this has not only made the commute nicer and created a sense of community along the 6 mile strip, it's also paid off when I might have needed help.

I've had a bus pull over and ask if I needed a ride while fixing a flat in the rain. Also, fixing a flat (all my flats are in the rain or cold, I've yet to flat in balmy weather) on a cold winter day, a cop stopped and told me he couldn't give me a lift, but if I wanted to warm up, I could sit in his back seat while he did some paperwork.

So, I'm with the OP on his policy of saying hello, but I'd stop trying with folks who don't respond, since there's a difference between being sociable and being a jerk.

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Originally Posted by FBinNY (Post 19154193)

I make it a point tobe known by the folks I pass on my commute. Commuting is different than most cycling because you meet the same people every day, and since a cyclist is a bit of an oddity, they'll get to recognize you. So, I prefer that they remember me in a positive way, and greet folks in a friendly way. Over the years this has not only made the commute nicer and created a sense of community along the 6 mile strip, it's also paid off when I might have needed help…

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Well said FB. I also give nicknames to those familiar people if I don’t learn their real names. There was “Good Buddy,” the cyclist going in the opposite direction every morning; and the “Stalker,” the guy driving the windowless white van going in the opposite direction who gave me a friendly toot. I learned the real names of Marianne, and Ed with his dog, the Chief.

I always knew it would be a good day when I saw the runner approaching me, whom I called “The Fleet Goddess.” :D

What do they call you?

I've thought about this situation this afternoon. I've come to the conclusion that trying to persuade someone to respond to my greeting is controlling behavior. I'm going to focus on just offering the hello and end it there. If there is a response, fine. If there is no response, then that is up to the kids.


I'm going to edit my original post to add this.

Like what's in a hot dog, there somethings you don't really want to know.

Bob:

As others have said, don't take it personally that these kids don't say hello to you. To them, you are a dork on a bicycle who is probably homeless or carless because of a DWI. Would YOU have waved hello to someone like you when you were that age?

I ran a youth group with high school kids for about 8 years in the late 90's and early 2000's (when I was only in my 30's and early 40's) and it took me quite a while to earn the kids' trust and to finally become the absolute coolest old guy they had ever met. Now I oversee high school-aged kids on my job and they think I'm awesome, but the kids I pass at the bus stop on MY commute every morning completely ignore my greetings and snicker and sneer as soon as I pass. And this includes kids I've known since they were born - and with whom I can have a great conversation when they're not in front of their friends having to admit to knowing the doofus on the bike with the helmet and the mirror and the flashing lights.

I get more satisfaction thinking about what they must be thinking than I think I would get if any of them ever returned my hello. Don't work too hard. Continue to say hello to those who return the gesture, but as others have also said, with kids, your good intentions can fast become creepy.

"The name is Boston...Jim from Boston."

(aka James de Boston; dba Dr. Perfect). :innocent:

All in good fun, there's no problem with trying for a response. Just stop short of attaching judgment of the other part(ies) for not responding, or being coercive / weird. Or don't . It's really up to you.

There ya go.

I try to acknowledge everyone I pass in some way. A look and nod, maybe a smile. "Hi! You exist! Me too! Another day above ground, another minor defeat against Mr. Death! Carry on!" Same as when I'm walking or driving. No pressure, no expectations, and very few disappointments.

There's an old lady that I see most mornings doing a brisk walk, she always waves.

When a cyclist is going the other way down the other side of the street, there's usually a head-nod from both of us.

Joggers or dog-walkers, if they're coming at me, usually wave or make eye-contact.

Everybody else, nothing. Kids in particular, I would never think of waving to high schoolers, especially girls. Don't want to get arrested.

The exception is little kids, with their parents. If see a toddler has seen me coming, I give them a big smile and wave, they get all excited.

If they were hard-core, they would be riding to school, not standing around waiting for a bus. They are simply too ashamed to reply.

Next time, instead of waving, shout "Harden the Fsck Up!"

I understand that these days, the OP could get a response by wearing a creepy clown mask.

I love bikes and biking.I say hello on a regular basis. I used to be highly active here, then saw too much negativity. I truly cannot imagine what is wrong with a hello. Whether the person is happy or angry because I say hello is their choice. This is truly a first world problem!

I haven't read every post, but I don't think anyone here is saying there's anything wrong with greeting people.

However the OP said he's making it a point to continue until he gets a response, and that's what I and others are responding to. At some point friendly greetings cross a line to something negative if one persists in the face of no response.

I have no idea where that line is, but persisting until you get a response, could very well produce a response other than the one desired.

As I posted early on, I tend to greet folks along the way, but I'm not invested in whether they respond in kind or not. That remains their choice, and my greeting doesn't somehow throw an obligation onto anyone else.

The way I was raised: when someone greets you, you greet them back. Even if you don't know them.

In urban areas with lots of people, you don't greet strangers in the street, but if they greet you, you greet them back.

The reason those kids don't greet you is... irrelevant IMO. It's their thing. Bothering to get them to greet you back - the whole topic on that... that's a bit creepy IMO. No offence meant, really.


For people I regularly pass by on my commute, I stick to a nod. If they don't reply, I stop doing even that and just ride on.

That's up to the parent, don't you think? I'm didn't presume to tell others, I was just making an observation.

Where do you get arrested for waving?

I believe you missed a few posts.

Also, a bunch of folks talking about it being creepy. I am sure some folks are creepy, but why is our society at a point in which so many folks go to something like "creepy" for something like saying hello. What ever happened to assuming good intent. Some folks have been programmed to have fears and paranoia where it does not have a basis.

Where I grew up in a small town in West Texas you waved to other drivers, because you probably knew them. If they weren't local you knew that also but still generally waved, I'm not sure why but that was the custom. In Dallas, of course not. Jogging or walking here in Alpharetta GA some do, mostly if they've seen you often I think. Jogging with someone in Austin, everyone acknowledged each other regardless. It all depends on where you are and what the customs are, and doesn't mean anything beyond that.

Maybe OP is trying to emphasize the local culture with the school kids, maybe he's out of place, maybe something else; obviously I can't know. But my feeling is that it's safest and most harmonious to adhere to whatever customs prevail in a given area.

I was being hyperbolic