On a bike trip waiting for a train, I stopped in at a used sporting gear place just across the street. They had a really cool looking mini pump by a boutique maker, mostly metal and not plastic, double heads for schraeder and presta, gage, just turn the barrel one way or the other to select the head, and high and low volume/pressure modes. Looks awesome. I hooked it up to my bike to try out; High volume became useless as soon as the pressure rose; Low volume/high pressure mode was *incredibly* low volume, it would have taken me a half hour to pump up a tire. I was so disappointed because it every other respect, it looked fantastic. I looked up reviews online, exactly what I discovered. That may have explained why it looked brand new; Someone bought it, tried using it once, got rid of it.

I now carry in the trunk bag, a Schwinn-branded pump that came on a bike I bought, single reversible head on short hose, gage, and a clever 45 degree swivel at the gage end that changes it from a cylinder to a T configuration that deploys a lever for my foot to hold it on the ground, much easier to pump with both hands, and faces the gage upward to easily read when pumping like that. Best setup I have seen, on a cheap pump. Like this, only mine has the older single reversible head:

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/bikefor...5f3e8d0245.jpg

Do Americans spell gauge “gage”?

As hidetaka points out, yes, sometimes but not usually. I'm not sure if this is an example of the changes made to American English spelling in hopes of making it more phonetic. Of course, that's a futile goal, and we abandoned it over a hundred years ago.

This!!! ^^^^^ It will involve practice to get your time to between 8-10 minutes. Schwalbe Marathon Plus tires though expensive are a worthwhile investment. A Topeak Road Morph frame pump and a cleat made from a business card wrapped in foil for sidewall slashes. Tube, patch kit, tire levers(metal NOT plastic), multi-tool and a cleat will all sit neatly into an under the saddle tool bag. All the best. Cheers from New Zealand! 🇳🇿

This reminded me of an oldie-but-goodie:

Linguistic humor, English spelling reform

Source: An old chestnut. In its globalized incarnation below, via Steven Gearhart.

English in the Future

Directors at Daimler Benz and Chrysler have announced an agreement to adopt English as the preferred language for communications, rather than German, which was another possibility.

As part of the negotiations, directors at Chrysler conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and have accepted a five-year phase-in plan. In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but komputers have one less letter.

There will be growing kompany enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, DaimlerKhrysler akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible.

DaimlerKhrysler will enkourage the removal of double letters, whish have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"'s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps sush as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" by "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords kontaining "o", and similar shanges vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis, and employes vil find it ezi to kommunikat viz eash ozer.

Ov kors al supliers vil be expekted to us zis for all busines komunikation via DaimlerKhrysler.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.