Go Back  Bike Forums > Bike Forums > Commuting
Reload this Page >

Another etiquette question re lady cyclists

Notices
Commuting Bicycle commuting is easier than you think, before you know it, you'll be hooked. Learn the tips, hints, equipment, safety requirements for safely riding your bike to work.

Another etiquette question re lady cyclists

Old 09-08-05, 05:45 PM
  #1  
Mars
coitus non circum.
Thread Starter
 
Mars's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,495
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
Another etiquette question re lady cyclists

There is a bike path I like to ride on my days off. because I commute long distances, I'm a pretty strong rider and go much faster than nearly everyone else. So, I often catch up to and pass lots of other riders. Sometimes, if I am passing some women, I will call out, "On your left, hotties."

I ride fast enough that I am gone in an instant, so they don't have to worry that I am trying to pick them up or hassle them. I just thought/think that maybe it will make them feel good.

But am I wrong in this? Would one of you ladies take offence or feel threatened by something like this happening? Or would it make you feel good like it's intended to do?

Remember, I am whizzing by so fast they don't really need to worry I am going to bother them further. Thanks, looking forward to your opinions!
Mars is offline  
Old 09-08-05, 05:52 PM
  #2  
ahpook
dirtbag roadie
 
ahpook's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: PDX
Posts: 894

Bikes: Della Santa Corsa Speciale -- Kish custom -- Santa Cruz Stigmata -- Niner Air 9 Carbon

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I'm not a lady but if I overheard somebody swoop by with that comment I would think they were a colossal @ss. Why not just "on your left"...?
__________________
follow me on twitter: https://twitter.com/ahpook/
ahpook is offline  
Old 09-08-05, 05:55 PM
  #3  
Mars
coitus non circum.
Thread Starter
 
Mars's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,495
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
Originally Posted by ahpook
I'm not a lady but if I overheard somebody swoop by with that comment I would think they were a colossal @ss. Why not just "on your left"...?
Haha, thanks for sharing.
Mars is offline  
Old 09-08-05, 06:11 PM
  #4  
chrisszee321
CannondaleGrl
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: East Coast
Posts: 15

Bikes: Cannondale Comfort 400, Cannondale Jekyll (MB)

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
It would make me smile, and it would also make me scrutinize the bushes that I ride past in case you're a lurking nutcase intent on ambush--no offense. It would really make me smile if I was riding with my husband, but he wouldn't think it was funny.
chrisszee321 is offline  
Old 09-08-05, 06:28 PM
  #5  
Marylandnewbie
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Silver Spring, MD
Posts: 1,701

Bikes: Fuji Supreme

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I'm guessing most of the time the women either don't hear you clearly enough to register or they don't care. What you don't know, however, is who's having a bad day and will get really ticked off by such a remark. I would think it is better to err on the side of caution and skip the commentary. Maybe it would be different if these were women you recognized from your commute, but still I would probably skip any extra comments with women I didn't know (or wasn't trying to get to know).
Marylandnewbie is offline  
Old 09-08-05, 07:01 PM
  #6  
lilHinault
.
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: .
Posts: 3,094

Bikes: .

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by Mars
Sometimes, if I am passing some women, I will call out, "On your left, hotties."
Be fair! You have to tell the men cyclists "on your left, hotties!" too!
lilHinault is offline  
Old 09-08-05, 08:18 PM
  #7  
quatrecats
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: eastern Washington state, near the Idaho border
Posts: 68

Bikes: Litespeed Bella, Giant european commurter bike, Mongoose Cipressa Ti road bike, looking for a women's specifice cross bike

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Hotties?? That is so adolescent--have you tried babes, wenches, or whatever?? On your left, studmuffin!!!
quatrecats is offline  
Old 09-08-05, 08:55 PM
  #8  
treehugger
Dirt Worshiper
 
treehugger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: The Earth
Posts: 44

Bikes: Specialized Sirrus

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
A possibly useful exercise of role playing: What would your reaction be if a strange, physically strong (which you mentioned you were) man shouts "Hottie!" at you while speeding up behind you? You probably want to listen to those reactions (fear,startled, does it feel like they are being aggressive?, perhaps small amounts of amusement or flattery) unless they are mostly positive. Then ignore them and just refrain from calling people names that, while intended as harmless, will be pereived as obnoxious (by many) and possibly threatening.
treehugger is offline  
Old 09-08-05, 09:36 PM
  #9  
commutercat
Junior Member
 
commutercat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5

Bikes: Trek 7100

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
You know, I don't want to bash a guy who's trying to have some fun. But look, many women (young, old, hottie, non-hottie) get comments and names thrown at them from passing strangers, and it can really make them uncomfortable. Some men's comments are meant to be flattering, some of them are meant to be insulting and mean. Even the nice comments can seem threatening and will make a woman get self-protective and tense. Either way, a woman can get sick and tired of it over time. [Of course I'm generalizing, so not all women have experienced this, and I realize there are women who love to get the "hey, beautiful!" from guys on the street.] Why not be on the safe side--be respectful to anyone you pass. I'd recommend that you please just keep your comments to yourself, even if you're being flattering.
commutercat is offline  
Old 09-08-05, 11:51 PM
  #10  
Guest
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Mentioned: Post(s)
Tagged: Thread(s)
Quoted: Post(s)
Why not show some respect for the women? God, there are enough a holes out there... you want to be counted as one of them?

Koffee
 
Old 09-09-05, 05:31 AM
  #11  
Mars
coitus non circum.
Thread Starter
 
Mars's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,495
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
Ok.

I certainly wasn't intending to be threatening, disrespectful, or a hole.....

Live and learn, I guess.
Mars is offline  
Old 09-09-05, 05:56 AM
  #12  
georgiaboy
Retro-nerd
 
georgiaboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Morningside - Atlanta
Posts: 1,636

Bikes: 1991 Serotta Colorado II, 1986 Vitus 979, 1971 Juene Classic, 2008 Surly Crosscheck, 1956 Riva Sport

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 30 Post(s)
Liked 54 Times in 36 Posts
Originally Posted by Mars
Ok.

I certainly wasn't intending to be threatening, disrespectful, or a hole.....

Live and learn, I guess.
Don't worry too much over this you didn't do anything terribly bad...

The term "hottie" is an internet chat room term to affectionately complement young ladies. However, if you use the term outside the internet and with different age groups the other party might not fully understand the term the way it is meant. While talking to people online most persons are hip to this jargon.
georgiaboy is offline  
Old 09-09-05, 06:33 AM
  #13  
javna_golina
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: No permanent address, New Zealand
Posts: 1,701
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by koffee brown
Why not show some respect for the women? God, there are enough a holes out there... you want to be counted as one of them?

Koffee
He is showing some respect: He's acknowledging their hotness! We all know how hard most western woman work on their outward appearance, and this man's acknowledging it.
javna_golina is offline  
Old 09-09-05, 06:35 AM
  #14  
Paiyili
pAIYILI
 
Paiyili's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Pennsylvania, PA USA
Posts: 130

Bikes: Specialized Crosroads Sport (Hybrid)

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by Mars
There is a bike path I like to ride on my days off. because I commute long distances, I'm a pretty strong rider and go much faster than nearly everyone else. So, I often catch up to and pass lots of other riders. Sometimes, if I am passing some women, I will call out, "On your left, hotties."

I ride fast enough that I am gone in an instant, so they don't have to worry that I am trying to pick them up or hassle them. I just thought/think that maybe it will make them feel good.

But am I wrong in this? Would one of you ladies take offence or feel threatened by something like this happening? Or would it make you feel good like it's intended to do?

Remember, I am whizzing by so fast they don't really need to worry I am going to bother them further. Thanks, looking forward to your opinions!
The fact that you are asking means that you know, on some level, that many people would not appreciate your mode of warning. If you feel the absolute need to acknowledge their gender (completely unnecessary), try using the somewhat arcane term "Ladies". Carrying less sexual overtones, and having a lot more class, it will be better received.
Paiyili is offline  
Old 09-09-05, 06:43 AM
  #15  
cerewa
put our Heads Together
 
cerewa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: southeast pennsylvania
Posts: 3,155

Bikes: a mountain bike with a cargo box on the back and aero bars on the front. an old well-worn dahon folding bike

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I vote that you say "on your left" without anything further. Some people will probably find it an ego boost to be called a hottie, and some people will probably find it really creepy. Best to just leave it off.
cerewa is offline  
Old 09-09-05, 08:57 AM
  #16  
soyboy
Senior Member
 
soyboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: brooklyn
Posts: 939

Bikes: raleigh gran prix converted to fixed

Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
how about when you ride past someone larger that you you try "on your left fatty" or when ridding past someone older than you you yell, "on you left geezer" or how about someone disabled how about "on your left crippy" these are just to start you off you can alienate people based on all sorts of things, when these ones get boring, try race, religion, sexual identity, maybe even social class.
soyboy is offline  
Old 09-09-05, 10:42 AM
  #17  
Aeroplane
jack of one or two trades
 
Aeroplane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Suburbia, CT
Posts: 5,640

Bikes: Old-ass gearie hardtail MTB, fix-converted Centurion LeMans commuter, SS hardtail monster MTB

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by Mars
I ride fast enough that I am gone in an instant, so they don't have to worry that I am trying to pick them up or hassle them.
Would you still say this if you were just barely going faster than them, and weren't gone in an instant (i.e. a getaway)? If you're too guilty to say it with confidence and deal with the responses, you shouldn't be saying it.

Originally Posted by Mars
I just thought/think that maybe it will make them feel good.
Lord knows that all women have such a poor self-image that the smallest lecherous comment from a stranger instantly bolsters their ego. You're a regular Robin Hood.
Aeroplane is offline  
Old 09-09-05, 10:48 AM
  #18  
timmhaan
more ape than man
 
timmhaan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: nyc
Posts: 8,094
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 2 Times in 1 Post
we need more women cyclist. don't drive them away.
timmhaan is offline  
Old 09-09-05, 11:11 AM
  #19  
recursive
Geosynchronous Falconeer
 
recursive's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 6,312

Bikes: 2006 Raleigh Rush Hour, Campy Habanero Team Ti, Soma Double Cross

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I vote for "On your left, fine babes".

I also echo the sentiment mentioned above that you should not be disrespectful.
__________________
Bring the pain.
recursive is offline  
Old 09-09-05, 11:11 AM
  #20  
vtjim
Belt drive!
 
vtjim's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Burlington, Vermont
Posts: 2,614

Bikes: 2011 Trek Soho DLX

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


That's brave. This morning I passed a nice looking woman who was riding an MTB. I just dinged my little bell, she turned to look at me. I said, "Hi." She said, "Hi."

I prefer the subtle approach. But then I'm married so any approach I take isn't going to lead to a landing. So to speak.
vtjim is offline  
Old 09-09-05, 11:19 AM
  #21  
Nicodemus
Feral Member
 
Nicodemus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Roma, Italia
Posts: 2,667

Bikes: yes, I have one.

Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 17 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
get a bell.
Nicodemus is offline  
Old 09-09-05, 11:21 AM
  #22  
Treespeed
Warning:Mild Peril
 
Treespeed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Seattle Refugee in Los Angeles
Posts: 3,171

Bikes: Cilo, Surly Pacer, Kona Fire Mountain w/Bob Trailer, Scattante

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 3 Times in 3 Posts
I always think a good cure for this attitude is a visit to a real cruisy gay neighborhood. My wife and I live close to West Hollywood and workout at the gym there too. It's so funny to have my hot redheaded wife become completely invisible and for me to have to put up with being leered at and hit on in the most shameful ways. It's not a sexist thing, it's a stupid male thing. Though I know I'm letting my training slip when I start getting ignored too.
__________________
Non semper erit aestas.
Treespeed is offline  
Old 09-09-05, 01:08 PM
  #23  
wheezl
Commuting Horrorshow
 
wheezl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Livorno, Toscana, Italia
Posts: 503

Bikes: Giant OCR3, Decathlon ****box.

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I shout "Hey...Hey...Hey.....Hey...Hey Ladies!!"

Seriously I never comment on the appearance of women that I don't know.

If you want to address them as a group I vote for "Ladies" minus my Beastie Boys reference.
wheezl is offline  
Old 09-09-05, 02:05 PM
  #24  
Mars
coitus non circum.
Thread Starter
 
Mars's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,495
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
Well, I asked for people's opinions and I certainly got them.

I am also getting, unasked for, a thorough schooling in issues of respect, social alienation, insight into my guilty conscience, and the chance that I am driving women out of the sport of cycling. Chill out folks! I just can't quite understand why a little comment like this, delivered in a fun and happy way, it such a threat and insult, or warrents such vigorous responses from everybody. You would think I was saying you shouldn't wear helmets or something. I would have been content with, "No, I don't think that would make me, as a woman, feel good."

I am a respectful, responsible, and nice person. I go out of my way to be friendly and helpful. I don't slober, leer, or loom over these poor victims of my inappropriate sexist comments. I'm not interested in even striking up a conversation, I'm just riding on by. Have we, as a community, reached a point where a male has to worry that a woman will take offence if you are riding down the same street and turn on the same corner (previous post), look at a butt, or can't pass her so follow behind? Or offer a compliment? This reminds me a bit of my days in grad school where the Women's Studies people would rip into someone for holding a door open for a woman...

Sigh. You may now rest assured that the threat to women in cycling, as represented by my disturbing behavior, has ceased to be an issue. I swear I will never say that again. It's eyes on the road and keep my comments to myself for now on.
Mars is offline  
Old 09-09-05, 02:43 PM
  #25  
powerhouse
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Portland, Maine USA
Posts: 779

Bikes: Trek 850 Antelope

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
At this point, I'm somewhat at a loss. I've read numerous threads and posts about courtesy and ettiquette when around female cyclists while out riding. The numerous entries seemed to range from practical to very ridiculous. I'm a male cyclist who is respectful toward others, particularly lady cyclists. But after reading the various threads and entries, I'm somewhat confused about what ettiquette is acceptable by everyone. Here are examples I've seen.

Some female cyclists don't like other cyclists around anytime.
I'm someone who says things like 'on your left','hello', or just gives a friendly wave From what I've read, there are ladies who don't welcome even this to the point of using mace.
If I didn't say anything, there would be those who would consider THAT as unwelcome.
Some women have said that if I were riding behind them to pass. Meanwhile, other lady cyclists would think that would be lying in wait for them up ahead.
From what I've read, some lady cyclists think that if I were behind them, I'd be admiring their anatomy or want to follow them for miles regarding sinister purposes. I don't do that while riding.

The list is endless! How far does this go and to what end? According to the varying perceptions of many members and guests on this forum, it seems to be very difficult or impossible to observe every courtesy, rule, etc. applying to every lady cyclist everywhere.
I look forward to replies to this message.

Dammed if you do,
Dammed if you don't.

Last edited by powerhouse; 09-11-05 at 01:14 PM.
powerhouse is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -

Copyright 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.