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What do you call a bike with a flat tire?

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What do you call a bike with a flat tire?

Old 11-13-05, 08:43 PM
  #1  
NzAndy
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What do you call a bike with a flat tire?

I was riding home from work and my back tire found a nail in the road. I realized my road hazard kit was in my other backpack so I was now a pedestrian. I was getting some funny looks walking my bike and I was waiting for someone to ask the obvious question to be awarded one of Bill Engvall's signs. Sure enough, before long someone asked "You got a flat tire?"

"No." I replied. "This is just an oversized pedometer fitted with a drink holder and brakes."

I wanted to add "Here's your sign." but most people here have not heard that routine.

Anyone else have any other suggestions for replies to the obvious question?
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Old 11-13-05, 09:09 PM
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Stare down at the tire in amazement and sudden comprehension. "Oh my goodness, you're right! I thought it was getting harder to push along!"



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Old 11-13-05, 09:16 PM
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"I got a little short of breath so I had to hit the reserves."
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Old 11-13-05, 09:18 PM
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Look at the tire full of air and exclaim, "Now how did that happen!" and bend down and let the air out of it as well.
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Old 11-13-05, 09:31 PM
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Sorry pal, I don't loan flat tires to strangers.

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Old 11-13-05, 09:49 PM
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I heard I could get a larger contact area with lower tire pressure, so this is perfect!
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Old 11-13-05, 11:11 PM
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No, It's a wrapper for my oxygen supply...

...would you like a Bozo Button? (see how many here remember Bozo!)
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Old 11-13-05, 11:38 PM
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I remember a shiny new Schwinn bicycle, that's for damn sure!
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Old 11-14-05, 12:17 AM
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flat tire? haven't had that since i put armadillo, mr tuffy and thorn resistant tubes.

What flat tire?
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Old 11-14-05, 12:39 AM
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You got a flat?
No flats. No pumps. I think they're ahh... (and then pull out a pair of 8 inch spiky heels from your trunk bag) These yours?

Oh come on. Everyone loves a Cinderella story.
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Old 11-14-05, 01:47 AM
  #11  
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"I'm just out measuring distance."
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Old 11-14-05, 03:19 AM
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Stroke the stem of your bike and say "don't worry dear, I won't let the bad man touch you."
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Old 11-14-05, 04:08 AM
  #13  
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this way I don't have to change the tyres so often- taps head and nods knowingly in a Joey (from the sit com "Friends") sort of way
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Old 11-14-05, 04:21 AM
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Originally Posted by chipcom
Sorry pal, I don't loan flat tires to strangers.

Right on!!!
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Old 11-14-05, 06:21 AM
  #15  
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Originally Posted by NzAndy
I was riding home from work and my back tire found a nail in the road. I realized my road hazard kit was in my other backpack so I was now a pedestrian. I was getting some funny looks walking my bike and I was waiting for someone to ask the obvious question to be awarded one of Bill Engvall's signs. Sure enough, before long someone asked "You got a flat tire?"

"No." I replied. "This is just an oversized pedometer fitted with a drink holder and brakes."

I wanted to add "Here's your sign." but most people here have not heard that routine.

Anyone else have any other suggestions for replies to the obvious question?
I would avoid snappy comebacks, if I was an unwitting pedestrian pushing a disabled bicycle around because of my own forgetfulness.
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Old 11-14-05, 06:36 AM
  #16  
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Originally Posted by mechBgon
Stare down at the tire in amazement and sudden comprehension. "Oh my goodness, you're right! I thought it was getting harder to push along!"
Winner
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Old 11-14-05, 08:01 AM
  #17  
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I cannot believe that no one stopped and gave you a ride ... the bastards!!!!

Why I do carry my bike rack at all times in my car? ---- Lesson learned.

Coming back from a long ride - alone - on the trail, I spot this roadie all decked out standing on the side of the road. He was looking left and right, then looking down muttering to himself. I passed him, turned around and stopped where it was safe to do so. I waved him to come to the car, as I was opening the bike rack and getting a small towel so not to scratch his frame.

He was obviously pretty happy about me stopping, and he nailed my accent. We both come from the same country of origin, and something looked familiar about him.
He ended up being the son of one of my wife's clients, and we had met before like 4 years ago.

Moral of the story - bikers of the world, keep the freaking bike rack on the car while you are not commuting. Stop when you see a biker in distress, and for god's sake, carry your bike tools and spare inner tube even if you are not riding that day.

Spread the bike love
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Old 11-14-05, 08:34 AM
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"You got a flat tire?" - methinks Engall's original reply, modified to suit bikes, would go something like, "No, I was just riding around when the other one suddenly inflated on me."

--J
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Old 11-14-05, 09:51 AM
  #19  
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Sure enough, before long someone asked "You got a flat tire?"
"No." I replied. "This is just an oversized pedometer fitted with a drink holder and brakes."
Some people are looking for an opportunity to be helpful when they ask if you have a flat. You never know, the person you reply sarcastically to may have a pump and tube/patch kit around the corner. Or a van in which they might offer you a ride to your own pump and tire repair stuff.
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Old 11-14-05, 10:57 AM
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Originally Posted by I-Like-To-Bike
I would avoid snappy comebacks, if I was an unwitting pedestrian pushing a disabled bicycle around because of my own forgetfulness.
Must be rough to go through life so humorless and devoid the of abilty to come up with a snappy comeback yourself. Here's one of my favorites, just for you...

Ya like Sex?
Ya like to walk?
Then take a F___in hike!

Feel free to use it in one of those rare moments when you might unwittingly have a sense of humor.
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Old 11-14-05, 10:58 AM
  #21  
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Originally Posted by lauren
"What do you call a bike with a flat tire?"
&*@$%*@&
Why not just *&^%$#@!! ?
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"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
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Old 11-14-05, 11:01 AM
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Originally Posted by cerewa
Some people are looking for an opportunity to be helpful when they ask if you have a flat. You never know, the person you reply sarcastically to may have a pump and tube/patch kit around the corner. Or a van in which they might offer you a ride to your own pump and tire repair stuff.
Well one CAN give a snappy comeback with a smile and without being rude, ya know. Some people really do have a sense of humor, I promise!
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"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
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Old 11-14-05, 11:38 AM
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It seems that in this situation. two "signs" would be needed. One for the person asking the question, and the other for the person that has gear to fix a flat, that was left at home.
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Old 11-14-05, 01:22 PM
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Them: "Have a flat tire?
Me: "No thanks, I've already got one."
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Old 11-14-05, 02:17 PM
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Originally Posted by chipcom
Must be rough to go through life so humorless and devoid the of abilty to come up with a snappy comeback yourself.
Actually I laugh at people who ask for advice on how to respond spontaneously with snappy comebacks; doubly ironic when the laugh is on an unprepared cyclist for becoming an unwitting pedestrian in the first place.
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